Husband Forgets To Pick Up Family After A 24-Hour Flight Despite Constant Reminders — 'I Truly Cannot Count On Him For Anything'
A partnership means you should be able to rely on and trust your partner in times of need.
Standret / Shutterstock Getting back after a long trip, you hope that after coming home from the airport, your house will be the easiest part of the journey. Well, for one mother, that was not the case.
Her grueling trip home turned into a nightmare when her husband failed to fulfill his promise of picking her and her family up at the airport. She took to Reddit's "r/breakingmom" subreddit, described as a place for "Moms only," to air out her grievances.
A husband forgot to pick up his family after a 24-hour flight despite constant reminders.
The mother and her children were returning from South Africa, where they had traveled from LA to visit the father's family. The trip was physically challenging for the mother due to her badly herniated disc, which made sitting nearly impossible. Her health condition required surgery scheduled shortly after their return home.
However, her situation turned into yet another example of a parent unevenly handling childcare duties. It should be the responsibility of the other co-parent to help out when needed — and wanted. Why? Well, because it's no mystery that being a mom is a difficult job.
But this mom seems to be unable to catch a break, with no help from her husband.
Photo: Reddit
"We had to route through Istanbul (14-hour flight), recover for a few days, and then go on to Cape Town (12-hour flight). It was so brutal for me as I can barely sit, lightning pain down my leg, the whole 9 yards," she wrote. On their journey back home, her husband decided that he would fly directly back due to work commitments while she and the children stayed in Turkey before heading back home.
This decision resulted in an arduous 24-hour travel ordeal involving multiple flights and bus rides with two young kids in tow. On top of all that, the intense pain caused by her herniated disc made the trip all the more daunting.
Upon landing in LA after this long journey, she expected her husband as promised, but soon realized he wasn't there and wasn't answering his phone despite numerous calls. "I expected [the] husband to be waiting for us at the airport as discussed. He wasn't there and wasn't answering his phone," she wrote.
Unable to afford a $300 Uber fare from LAX airport directly home, they resorted to walking a mile outside of the airport premises with luggage before taking an Uber halfway. They eventually met up with her father, who drove them the rest of the way home — turning what could have been just under an hour's drive into three hours.
To add insult to injury, upon arriving at their empty house after their extended travel ordeal, it turns out that picking up his family at the airport wasn't the only thing he forgot to do. "He also promised [to] buy groceries so I could feed kids upon our return... He somehow thought we were returning [the] next day," she added.
Reflecting, she felt disappointed over how he let their family down again by prioritizing his hobbies over responsibilities.
"I truly cannot count on him for anything," she wrote. He was having a blast at the beach instead of thinking about his family, after all. Many also echoed the danger of the woman flying with children while awaiting serious surgery.
Photo: Reddit
But what should parents do if they feel their spouse is not handling their share of parenting duties?
Michelle LaRowe, an award-winning nanny and editor-in-chief of Longhorn Leads, told YourTango in September 2012 about five tips on splitting parenting duties with your spouse.
She recommended that parents should "communicate their needs," "provide tangible ways [parents] can help," "talk about needs before they arise," and "let [them] do it [their] way," and if none of those work, which seem to be the case with this mom, "call in backup."
"Ask friends and family to help out with meal prep, laundry and even watching the baby for a few hours so you can take a nap and get some solid sleep," she wrote. Thankfully, only her husband is lacking in his support.
Many people took to the comments to share their words of advice for the mother-in-need, with one person writing, "I'm concerned that you have children and are about to have very serious surgery. You cannot count on him for even one minute of child care. You can't count on him for even one glass of water or one pill. Let alone any other help you may need."
How should she ensure her kids are cared for while she recovers? Does she really need to call for "backup" like LaRowe recommended?
According to health care company Aetna, it's important to set up a "24/7 childcare plan" post-surgery. This includes making sure kids are taken to school, picked up, cared for on weekends, and whatever else they may need. In reality, she shouldn't have to plan any of this because she should be able to rely on her husband.
Hopefully, she can get care in order after her surgery — or, even better, her husband steps up.
Ethan Cotler is a writer and frequent contributor to YourTango living in Boston. His writing covers entertainment, news, and human interest stories.