Woman Bans Ex From Throwing Daughter A Birthday Party Because She's Grounded But Wonders If She’s Overreacting

Is this the right punishment?

Girl sad at birthday party StoryTime Studio / Shutterstock.com

At what point do you bend the rules of your punishment for the betterment of your child?

This is the question a woman is struggling with after posting to Reddit’s "AmItheA–-hole" (AITA) a subreddit where users from across the internet ask for advice on a conflict in their lives.

The mother has taken to the subreddit to ask if she’s in the wrong for banning her ex for throwing her daughter a birthday party because she’s grounded.


The daughter’s birthday just so happens to coincide with her four-day punishment. 

According to the mother, the daughter “did something that warranted a four-day punishment.” 

At the time of writing the post, her daughter’s birthday was the day after but because she was only two days into her grounding, the mother decided to cancel her birthday party altogether.

RELATED: Woman Dumps Boyfriend At The Airport After His Mom Humiliated Her

However, she wrote that her daughter still has access to her electronics.


Earlier in the day, the mother’s ex contacted her about the cancellation and insisted that he would throw the party instead — she refused.

"He called me ridiculous but I told him that he was encouraging bad behavior and acting like ‘the cool parent’ instead of working with me on fixing these behavioral issues," she wrote. "He said that since he's also the parent, then I cannot stop him from throwing her a party and he'll do it tomorrow."

Word spread among the family and now people are split.

While the woman’s new husband agrees with her, the grandparents think that she’s being unreasonable and suggested she “put off the rest of punishment [until] after the birthday.”


“But I refused,” she wrote. “I feel like he's undermining my parenting and deliberately going against my input.”

RELATED: Working Dad Asks Stay-At-Home Wife For Weekend 'Mornings Off' Taking Care Of Their Newborn, Stirring Debate

Reddit users have collectively agreed the mother is in the wrong.

One of the top comments pointed out how ridiculous the punishment is. 

“YTA (you're the a--hole.) What kind of punishment lets a child still have access to their electronics but doesn’t let them celebrate their birthday? That’s ridiculous,” they wrote.

Another user pointed out how flawed the punishment logic is.

“The type of punishment that's designed to hurt and humiliate, not teach,” the user wrote. “Take away a thing that means a lot to the kid and they've really been looking forward to maximum emotional damage.”


It’s also important to make sure both the mother and the ex are on the same terms when it comes to punishing their daughter, as pointed out by one another user.

According to an edit, a user says the mother posted, “the daughter broke her step-father’s antique vase despite no substantiating evidence (besides his claims that she ONCE called it ugly) and her saying it was an accident.”

“YTA. If your daughter did something bad enough that it warrants canceling a birthday party and grounding her on her birthday, then it's bad enough that you and your ex need to discuss the appropriate punishment before giving it and generally get on the same page,” another user wrote.


RELATED: Man Who Refused To Attend Wedding With Girlfriend Because She Was Wearing A Long White Dress Asks If He's Wrong

Victoria Soliz is a writer with YourTango who covers news and entertainment content. Her work explores pop culture trends, film and TV, and celebrity news