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Man Tells Plus-Size Wife She’s Fat-Phobic For Calling Their Baby Fat

Photo: Getty
Husband and wife on the couch

After having a baby with his wife, a man explains to the internet that not everything is sunshine and rainbows with their 10-month-old daughter.

The man explains that their baby is quite large, and although he emphasizes that they love their daughter very much, his wife has started to call her nicknames that reference the baby’s weight.

After confronting her about it, she got wildly upset and went to bed, leaving the husband to wonder if he was in the wrong.

And of course, whenever someone needs to figure out who’s right or wrong, they go to the subreddit “r/AmItheA--hole,” where anyone can post about a certain situation or experience that they are going through and ask for strangers’ opinions on who is in the wrong.

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The man questions if he's wrong for calling his plus-sized wife “fat-phobic” and “obsessed” with their daughter’s weight.

Fortunately, the man makes it clear from the very beginning that their baby is perfectly healthy and the chubbiness is likely a result of normal baby fat before getting into the nitty-gritty issue at hand.

10 months after their daughter’s birth, the man started to get fed up with the nicknames that his wife was giving her.

“She keeps calling our daughter ‘chunky girl’ or ‘Ms. Piggy,’” he says in the post. “She says they’re ‘Endearing’ nicknames and all her side of the family also calls her this.”

He expressed some confusion about this situation, because his wife is someone who would be considered “plus-sized,” and as such, he feels like she should be more sensitive to calling their daughter that.

“But recently, I’ve been reading some parenting books about how much children absorb at this age and the names have started to bother me,” he shares.

“Last night I finally got the courage after my wife called our daughter ‘fatty patty’ for the first time,” he continued in his post. “I told her to stop calling her fat because it’s going to hurt her self-esteem when she’s older. My wife looked shocked and told me there is nothing wrong with being fat. I agreed but completely disagree that calling our daughter fat even in an ‘endearing’ way will not teach her it’s ok to be fat.”

After some arguing, their daughter overheard them and started crying, causing the mother to carry her into another room. When she came back, she called him “ridiculous.”

“I then told her her actions are fat-phobic and her obsession with our daughter’s weight is unhealthy for her and our baby,” he said. “This upset her immensely and she went to bed. AITA here??”

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The father got a resounding amount of support.

Right off the bat, the post has already been marked by moderators as “Not The A--hole,” by the majority of the voters in the comments.

The rating system is based on comments that will either read, NTA, which stands for “Not The A--hole,” YTA, which stands for “You’re The A--hole,” NAH, which means “No A--holes Here,” or ESH, which means “Everyone Sucks Here.”

One Redditor even suggested that he try calling his wife what she is calling their daughter and see how she feels.

“NTA. Guarantee if you called your wife fatty patty, she would not find it endearing,” read the top comment on the post. “Is it possible there are some post-partum issues she needs to talk to a professional about?”

That comment raised an important question about the wife’s true mental state because another comment fell into a similar line of thinking.

“NTA. Thank you for standing up for your daughter!!!!” said another top comment. “Your wife is projecting her internalized self-loathing about her weight onto your daughter. This will not only cause self-esteem issues but could lead to disordered eating and/or an ED. Your wife should seek therapy.”

While this is a baseless accusation, the commenter raises an important point that the original poster also questioned as well about his wife being plus-sized.

However, some people disagreed.

Some useres shared that they felt the nicknames were fine and that the baby couldn’t understand them anyway.

“Fat babies are good. Right? I mean, it's a compliment!” said one of the comments that someone gave a Gold Award to. “My first was too skinny for the first 4 months, and then he got so nice and fat! We were so happy. We called him ‘Mr. Round’ and other nicknames.”

The comment went on to say “ESH” because they were both “overly dramatic, uncommunicative, and concerned about body image for a literal infant who does not care or know that this is a thing.”

“NAH - yet,” said somebody else. “A 10-month-old baby won’t understand these nicknames. However. She should work on coming up with new nicknames because those WILL leave an impact once your daughter is old enough to understand.”

After 10 months, the baby is likely learning to understand small, basic words, like “yes” or “no” and “bye,” but after about a year to a year-and-a-half they start understanding the basics of creating phonetic sounds.

The father read some parenting guides and feared that their daughter could end up with self-esteem issues or even an eating disorder, and as such took the liberty of confronting his wife about it, but some people argue that he did it prematurely.

Despite these arguments, the resounding answer was that the father was “Not the a--hole.”

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Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Follow him on Twitter here.

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