Photo: YouTube
Male survivors deserve to be heard.
By Alice Kelly — Written on Jun 05, 2021
Sienna Mae Gomez is doubling down on her denial of claims that she sexually assaulted fellow TikTok and Hype House star Jack Wright.
Gomez had come under fire after Mason Rizzo, released a statement in which he said, “I struggle with seeing a girl getting praised after telling my best friend to kill himself and sexually assaulting him numerous times after he set boundaries and then reportedly wonder why 'he doesn't like [her] back.'”
Gomez’s initial denial of Rizzo's accusations in a video she posted on YouTube titled "addressing false allegations" generated a mixed response from her millions of followers as they struggled to determine the truth.
Now a video has surfaced in which Sienna Mae Gomez appears to sexually assault Jack Wright while he was unconscious.
What did Sienna Mae Gomez allegedly do to Jack Wright?
The video shows Gomez appearing to kiss and grope Wright while he was unconscious during a party on November 30, 2020. It was originally made public on TikTok by one of Wright's close friends, and then resurfaced on Twitter after being deleted.
"As you can clearly see, that is Sienna and that is Jack passed out on the couch, unconscious," the friend, identified only as Lachlan, explains. "This was the first time I met Sienna and I did not know that they has a 'fake relationship.'"
"I was taking care of Jack while he was unconscious on the couch. Sienna then hops on top of him. I didn't think nothing of it. I started hearing kissing noises and I peeked over my should and it was exactly that."
"Whatever their relationship was at the time," he continues, "obviously this was not right, so I went back and took Sienna off of Jack... She was shocked that I pulled her off, and she kept trying to justify what she had just done. I talked to James and Jack the next day about the situation that happened that night, and James said that happens all the time."
After Gomez issued her initial denial, Wright stood by his friends, claiming they were trying to “protect him with the truth” and expressing his wishes for Gomez to seek help.
But the ways in which Gomez has tried to explain her side of the story, true or not, speak to a wider problem that prevents sexual assault victims from coming forward, particularly male victims.
Playing into common victim-blaming tropes and misconceptions about sexual assault, she defends her innocence primarily by invalidating Wright’s emotions and undermining his ability to advocate for himself.
Gomez made a second video in which she again denies sexually assaulting Jack Wright.
The original video, which is not being shown here because it contains graphic content involving an alleged assault that occurred when Wright, now 18, and Gomez, 17 were both minors, appears to show Gomez place her hand on Wright’s crotch.
In her second response video, posted on June 3 and titled "addressing false accusations 2," Mae claims the clips were edited out of order and out of context, saying Wright did not fall asleep until after they had kissed and that her hand was actually on his upper thigh while she was kissing him.
"The way that Jack's friend narrated this video this video, I admit, looks so weird and looks, like, real. But like my last where I showed comments that were resurfacing and then provided a backstory, not everything is how you see on social media."
Gomez first defends herself by claiming Wright wasn't completely unconscious.
She zooms in on the frame to show that Wright was able to lift his arm by himself when his friend got up to walk away.
“If he was unconscious why did his arm move when you got up,” she asks, “and also why was he kissing me back?”
This line of questioning is a common and damaging one often used against victims of sexual abuse. It relies on a misconception that anyone who is vaguely conscious can give consent simply by simply not refusing.
Gomez appears to argue that Wright was not unconscious enough for the incident to have been an issue.
It's not clear if Wright had consumed alcohol at the time, but intoxication is often weaponized against sexual assault victims who are told it was their fault for being too drunk.
Gomez says others could have stopped the alleged assault.
She goes on to ask why, if Wright's brother James thought what was happening was sexual assault, he chose to record it rather than step in and stop her.
“If my brother saw me being taken advantage of he would pick up the person on top of me and beat them... not film it,” she says, addressing Wright’s brother James.
In asking why Wright, his brother, or his friends did not stop the alleged assault, Gomez also points to another victim-blaming trope male abuse victims face — that because they are typically stronger and larger than their female abusers, they should be the ones in control of the situation.
Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford, a licensed clinical psychologist, tells us the assumption that men are always dominant hurts male survivors and prevents them from coming forward.
“Some male survivors will not disclose sexual abuse out of fear of not being seen as a ‘real man,’” Bates-Duford says. “Society often encourages men to always be ready for sex and to be the aggressors in sexual relationships, it may be difficult for a man to tell people that he has been sexually assaulted.”
This also means that even when an assault happens right in front of them, other men may assume it is consensual.
Gomez also repeatedly states that she was misled in the relationship, attempting to offload some of the blame onto Wright and place herself as the victim.
This plays into outdated notions of women as inherently vulnerable and unable to exert the kind of abuse that is typically associated with men.
Next, Gomez claims that not only did Wright previously consent to her advances, but that he continued to see her after the incident.
Gomez repeatedly mentions and shows evidence of previous consensual romantic interactions between herself and Wright, sharing clips of them kissing in the past, as well as footage of them hanging out the day after the alleged assault.
She positions this as evidence that she could not have sexually assaulted Wright, but again, this relies on a false narrative around the boundaries of consent.
Consent must be given on a continuous basis and can be withdrawn at any point, even within the context of a romantic relationship or marriage.
Bates-Duford tells us it is common for survivors to continue the relationship with their abuser even after an assault occurs.
“[Survivors] worry that they may be unable to survive on their own,” she explains. “Survivors sometimes cope by focusing on their perpetrator’s loving side and shutting out the abuse, maintaining contact to elicit such affirmative behavior from the abuser.”
Essentially, denying that you were assaulted may feel easier than accepting the knowledge that someone you cared for hurt you.
“Unfortunately, some survivors may blame themselves for the encounter and convince themselves — or be convinced by the abuser — that an assault was not what they thought it was,” Bates-Duford adds.
Gomez asks why Wright didn't come forward sooner or report her to law enforcement if he thought she assaulted him.
“Jack, if you really feel like I sexually assaulted you, why didn’t you report me? Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you come out with these claims months ago?" Gomez later asks.
These questions shows a misunderstanding of the reality that men are even less likely to disclose their sexual assault than women, who themselves are often afraid to report.
Research shows that at least 1 in 6 men will be victims of sexual abuse in their lifetime, but due to the prevalence of underreporting, the actual number could be much higher.
Gomez uses Wright’s past trauma against him.
In her first denial video, Gomez claimed Wright was sexually assaulted in a separate incident that she was not present for. And in her second video, she once again brings up this claim, accusing Wright of misplacing his trauma.
"He is the victim," Gomez says, "but not of me."
Wright’s alleged history as a victim of sexual assault doesn’t appear to bear any relevance to the allegations now being made against Gomez, yet she consistently brings up what, if true, is his deeply personal trauma.
“Somehow, I still have enough love for Jack to not disclose any of his private information because it’s not my place, it’s not my place to disclose his assault and I will not do so,” she says. “But Jack was sexually assaulted.”
While she says she will leave it up to him to share his story, by mentioning it publicly she also denies him the right to keep his past trauma to himself.
Again, Gomez frames herself as being loving while simultaneously opening a painful wound, probing what is presumably a source of shame and insecurity for Wright.
“Many survivors also struggle with low self-esteem, which can be used as a weapon by their abuser to maintain some degree of control over the survivor,” Bates-Duford says.
Gomez doesn’t explain why she believes mentioning a previous sexual assault is relevant, but it does come across as an attempt to discredit his ability to judge the situation.
By accusing Wright of mixing up these alleged assaults, she absolves herself of any blame while reifying Wright to the status of a victim who is unable to speak for himself.
The details of the incident shown in the heavily edited clip remain unclear, but Gomez’s reliance on victim-blaming and gaslighting as a defense mechanism misses an opportunity for a meaningful discussion of boundaries, consent and the experience of male sexual abuse survivors.
If you have been a victim of sexual abuse, assault or violence, please know that there is help and hope. 1in6.org offers anonymous support exclusively for men and RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline is available for everyone, regardless of gender.
Alice Kelly is a writer living in Brooklyn, New York. Catch her covering all things social justice, news, and entertainment. Keep up with her Twitter for more.