Mom Who Claims She's A 'Perpetual Planner' Believes Others Are 'Disrespectful Of Her Time'

What works for one family might not work for another.

Woman looking at watch Gustavo Fring / Pexels

A mom in Georgia wrote to Dear Abby asking for guidance on how to navigate scheduling her family’s time. She noted a difference in the way she plans her family’s time, versus how her family and friends plan theirs.

The mom defined herself as a ‘perpetual planner,’ explaining why she believes people in her life are disrespectful of her time.

“I joke that I live and die by my calendar,” the mom exclaimed. She acknowledged that her family’s schedule “constantly goes in different directions,” with various school activities, appointments, work trips, and visiting family. 


Even though she’s busy, the mom says that she offers whatever help she can to those in her community, whether it’s running carpools for neighborhood kids along with her own kids, or taking trips out of town to see family.

RELATED: My Husband Found Out Why Married Women Cheat — The Hard Way

busy woman on the phone looking at bookPhoto: Ivan Samkov / Pexels


She stated that her family’s “planned chaos” is overwhelming to those who “live life on a whim.” Her family and friends tell her to be more flexible when plans change, but she can’t help but observe how “another person’s lack of planning greatly impacts [her] day.”

She offered examples of how other people’s scheduling changes affect her own schedules, like friends coming 35 minutes late to dinner reservations, or a change in carpool timing that “forces [her] to take conference calls while rushing to and from.”

The mom claimed that people tell her to ‘relax,’ but she believes they’re disrespectful of her time. “I try to be mindful of others, but everyone else seems to care only for themselves,” she explained, before asking Dear Abby for her thoughts on the matter.

RELATED: A Mom Went To Visit Her Son At Lunch & Caught Him Receiving An Unusual Punishment For Being 'One Minute Late' To School


Dear Abby was of the opinion that families should do whatever works best for them.

She stated, “If sticking to a schedule works for you and your family, I see nothing wrong with it.” She also advised that the mom try to “remain gracious when unforeseen things come up.”

While the advice columnist noted that being kept waiting at a restaurant for over 20 minutes is “rude,” she also urged the mom to recognize that sometimes, obstacles arise in a way that is out of our control — whether it be traffic, a family emergency, or any number of conflicts that could create lateness.

She encouraged the mom to stand up for herself and set the boundaries she needs in order to feel respected by the people in her life. She declared, “Don’t be a pushover, but resist the urge to shame others for their lack of calendar excellence.”

RELATED: 5 Cheating Wives Explain Why Women Cheat On Their Husbands


person writing in a planner Photo : Karolina Grabowska / Pexels 

Dear Abby made the wise assertion that people are doing the best that they can with the tools they have, stating, “All any of us can do is the best we can when navigating through the demands of each day.”

All families operate on their own timetable; what works well for one family unit might not work at all for another. However a parent plans their schedule, communication seems to be key. The mom who adheres to a strict schedule could benefit from people in her community directly discussing their timing with her, so that she can readjust her expectations as needed. 


RELATED: Why Tom Cruise 'Chooses Not To See' His Daughter 11 Years After Their Last Sighting Together

Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers parenting issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.