Nanny Threatens To Quit After She's Not Allowed To Fly First-Class With Family She Works For
Is she entitled or does she have a right to be upset?
Prostock-Studio, Aureily / Shutterstock; CanvaPro A family has been in turmoil with their nanny after a trip to Costa Rica together.
The nanny was reportedly appalled that she was not seated in first-class with the rest of the family. Now, the father of the family is wondering if he was wrong.
The family flew in first-class, but the nanny did not.
The father of the family shared his dilemma with best-selling author and columnist Jane Green in her advice column, “Agony Aunt.”
“Dear Jane,” the man wrote. “For the past two years, my wife and I have employed a live-in nanny who helps us care for our young son while taking care of a few chores around the house.” He went on to say that their nanny has formed a “wonderful bond” with their three-year-old son and has become part of the family — so much so, that they have decided to take her along on family vacations.
“The deal was that we’d pay for her travel, her hotel room etc., and she could enjoy free time during the day while looking after our son in the evenings so my wife and I can enjoy some time alone,” the man wrote.
The family prebooked three family vacations, all of which the nanny committed to.
However, upon boarding their flight to Costa Rica, the man claimed that the nanny was “incredibly upset” to discover that she would not be sitting in first-class with the rest of the family.
Photo: New Africa / Shutterstock
“My wife and I were in first-class with our son, and we booked our nanny a seat in Delta Comfort+,” the man explained. “Apparently, this was not to her standards.”
As soon as they landed, the nanny confronted her employer. “[She] said that she felt incredibly uncomfortable with being treated in such a disrespectful manner and that our decision to fly first-class while leaving her in another section made clear how little we think of her,” the man wrote.
The nanny threatened to quit her job unless she was booked a first-class ticket on their next vacation.
The nanny then declared that she would not be joining the family for future vacations if they did not book her a first-class ticket, and even threatened to quit if they did not honor her request.
The man is conflicted regarding the situation. “Not trying to sound rude — or disrespectful — but we pay her a really good salary, we look after her incredibly well, and given that she’s getting several free vacations, I don’t think it’s unreasonable of us to book her in Comfort+,” he wrote.
Although the man does not believe that he and his wife should be required to book their nanny a first-class ticket, he cannot fathom letting her go. “She and my son are so close, and she really is wonderful with him, so I can’t stand the thought of losing her,” the man admitted. “But it feels a bit like we’re being emotionally blackmailed by her.”
The man asked Green how he and his wife can resolve the situation without “sacrificing their boundaries.”
Since boundaries were crossed between employer and employee, it might be time to find a new nanny.
Green noted that although the nanny has a a good relationship with the couple’s son and it feels as if she is a part of the family, her threats have crossed a line and it might be time to part ways.
“With every au pair or nanny that we had, was that they were the best, our children adored them, and the prospect of them leaving was terrifying for they were irreplaceable,” Green shared of her own experiences with nannies.
“And yet, every time someone left, we found another, who was sometimes better, sometimes worse, usually entirely different, and almost always equally beloved by us and our children.”
Green advised that the man treated his nanny more than fairly, and she is conveying a sense of entitlement.
“Many employers think the nanny should be eternally grateful to have the opportunity to travel to exotic places, even when they are pretty much on duty almost 24 hours a day and are sharing a room with the children. But look out the window! You’re in the Maldives! You may not have any time to yourself but it’s hot! Lucky you,” she wrote. “This is not what you are describing, given her free time during the day and a few nights' babysitting, and I would say that the entitlement she has shown is a firm deal-breaker.”
Green concluded by encouraging the man to start looking for a new nanny, one who appreciates the family vacation experience that he and his wife will give them.
Photo: Africa Studio / Shutterstock
Although the nanny may have not been flying first-class with the family, flying in Delta Comfort + is far from miserable, since it is a step above coach.
According to the Delta website, Comfort + seats include extra legroom, 50% more reclining than coach seats, dedicated overhead bin space, premium snacks, meal and alcoholic beverage service, and a pillow and blanket.
With these seats, you aren’t exactly being treated as a second-class citizen. They also typically cost between $20 to $50 more than coach seats, making them far from cheap.
Most nannies would be grateful to have the opportunity to not only go on a free trip to Costa Rica with a considerable amount of downtime, but also to enjoy a peaceful flight in a comfortable seat no children to mind.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.