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Mom Hired Her Niece To Be Her Live-In Nanny — Now, She Wants To Evict Her

Photo: Kampus Production / Pexels 
mom & nanny & toddler sitting together

A single mom to two kids wrote to the subreddit r/AITA wondering if she was wrong for wanting her niece to move out because she’s no longer working as their live-in nanny. 

The widowed mom explained that she has an eight-year-old and a six-year-old in need of care. She works long shifts as a nurse, sometimes staying at the hospital until midnight, and decided hiring a live-in nanny would be the best option, as she has one guest room, and her kids need a caregiver after school lets out.

The mom hired her niece as a live-in nanny, but now she wants to end their agreement due to a change in her niece’s work situation.

Around the time that the mom was looking for live-in care, her niece was accepted to the university near where the mom lives. Her niece wanted to save money on housing, so she offered to watch the kids on the days when the mom works until midnight, in exchange for living rent free.

The mom agreed, even offering her niece a salary of $22/hr, plus room-and-board. The niece finishes her classes at 1 p.m., picks up the kids, makes them dinner, and puts them to bed, after which time she’s free to do what she wants.  

young woman smiling and hugging childPhoto: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels 

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“Of course I pay her from 3 p.m.-12:30 a.m.,” the mom explained. “It worked for 2 years. My niece never had any complaints.” Yet the mom and her niece ran into conflict when the college student found a paid internship in the same field as her major, and told the mom she would no longer be able to nanny her kids. 

The mom said, “I congratulated her and said I could help her look into student housing or an apartment. We’d have 3 months to do this.” The mom reported that her niece was confused, so the mom laid out the needs for her family, saying, “Since I would need a live-in and only have one guest room, she would have to move out.”

“My niece got upset and said this isn’t fair, she won’t be able to save any money if she gets a dorm or an apartment,” the mom stated, pointing out that what’s best for her and her kids is to have live-in support.

The young woman tried to convince her aunt that she could hire a live-out nanny who could drive home when her shift ends. Yet the mom detailed the logistical holes with that plan, saying, “After speaking to some nannies, they understandably don’t want to drive home so late."

Their conflict got to the point of tension where the niece’s own mom, the woman’s sister-in-law, got involved.

The mom notes that her niece “moved in under the condition that she’d work as a nanny,” and has expressed that she “isn’t interested in nannying at all going forward and will instead be pursuing internships. She has no desire to work after her internship is over for the day.”

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Her sister-in-law and brother live three hours away, so her niece would be unable to commute if she moved home. They feel the mom is treating her niece unfairly, despite their agreement having changed, and think she should find a nanny who’d be willing to leave after midnight. 

The mom offered context to her complex situation, noting that she and her niece have a six-month lease agreement. As the mom explained, “I knew there was a chance she may change her mind about living here. So legally, I’m protected and can choose to simply not renew the lease.” She gave her niece written notice and made sure she’s protected from a legal standpoint.

Photo: cottonbro studio / Pexels 

The responses the mom received from the Reddit community overwhelmingly held that she was not at all wrong for asking her niece to move out. As one person succinctly put it, “A mutually beneficial arrangement has come to a natural end.”

Many people believed that the mom's family was acting entitled and not thinking about her main priority — the care of her own children. “Your life does not, cannot, revolve around your niece,” said someone else. “You have kids of your own. If your sister-in-law feels so strongly that her daughter should live rent free, she can pay her daughter’s rent once she moves out.”

The situation the mom has found herself in is unfortunate, highlighting what often happens when family and money mix. It’s also deeply unfortunate that the niece isn’t looking at what her aunt offered her for the past two years with gratitude, choosing instead to focus on what’s being taken away from her, despite the fact that she has other doors opening for her.

Hopefully the family members can find common ground, settle their differences, and find a peaceful stasis, because in the end, the relationships we create are far more valuable than the money we save. 

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Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers parenting, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.