Mom Shares The Secret Note She Slipped To Her Daughter’s Doctor Before They Weighed Her

She didn't want her daughter to be subjected to any body-shaming during the visit.

Caroline @general.caronobi / TikTok

A mom is being praised for actively thinking about her daughter's needs after sharing the note that she wrote for her daughter's doctor.

In a TikTok video, Caroline sparked a discussion around weight stigma and how that can greatly affect children, even if it's coming from a doctor with good intentions.

The mom wrote a note to her daughter's doctor about what language to avoid using during their visit.

"Trying something new at the pediatrician will report back how it goes," Caroline began in her video. She explained that to avoid her daughter feeling shamed for her weight, she decided to write a note to the doctor, leaving it with the nurse right before their appointment.


"Doctor. When discussing my child's weight and/or BMI, please refrain from using qualitative words like 'good' or 'bad,'" Caroline wrote in the letter. "We have managed so far to keep a body-neutral and body-positive environment for her childhood, and I appreciate your cooperation in preserving that for as long as we can."



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In a follow-up video talking about how the appointment went, Caroline assured viewers that both her daughter's pediatrician and the nurse were very welcoming of her desire to keep any comments about her daughter's weight outside of the examination room.

"We made it back home and I'm happy to report that it went really well. The nurse made no comment when she was weighing my kid," Caroline recalled. When the pediatrician eventually came in, she asked Caroline if it was okay to show a growth curve with no numbers on it, and she even told her daughter that, "Your body is growing exactly how it wants to grow. Hooray!"



"I was actually pretty happy about that because where my kid is at, that was appropriate for her. There was no mention of her weight or her body shape." Instead, her daughter's pediatrician asked questions about how she was feeling, if she was able to exercise and to make sure she was eating a lot of fruits and vegetables, along with other balanced meals.


"There were no discussions about restricting sugar or restrictions at all." 

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Doctors often have preconceived judgments and use shaming language when talking about a patient's weight.

A 2018 Drexel University study on healthcare avoidance showed that one’s body mass index (BMI) was correlated with weight stigma, increased body shame, and rising healthcare stress. A 2012 survey of almost 2,500 U.S. women found that 69 percent reported feeling stigmatized by their doctors and 52 percent endured recurring fat bias.

According to a 2017 American Psychological Association press release, “fat shaming” still occurs during doctor-patient visits, and it may be both mentally and physically harmful to recipients. The release noted that sizeism can affect how doctors treat patients and how they approach their medical studies, as fat people are often left out of medical research.


Caroline actively engaging with her daughter's healthcare professionals and setting clear boundaries can ensure that her child's emotional well-being remains a priority.

From a young age, children must be able to have a good relationship with their bodies. 

Having these conversations can help prevent negative body image issues as they grow up, and drastically reduce the risk of developing eating disorders or a bad relationship with food.

Caroline's approach greatly challenges the status quo and can encourage other parents to take similar steps in advocating for their children's mental and physical health during medical visits. It's important that everyone, not just children, cultivates a positive relationship with their bodies, free from societal judgments.


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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.