Photo: Irishasel / Shutterstock
Her son was uncomfortable.
By Sanika Nalgirkar — Last updated on Oct 16, 2023
While he was at his friend's place, a young man called his mother and asked to be picked up because their family wasn't having a "bath day."
In her post to Reddit’s AITA thread, one mother explained her situation and asked internet users whether she had been wrong. She explained she doesn't usually let her son, Jason sleep over at his friends' homes. Since Jason is still young and he also hadn't asked to sleep over at a friend's place before, the mother never had an issue with this rule.
However, the mother broke her rule when Jason asked to sleep over at his best friend Brandon's house, but changed his mind while he was there.
The mother son's called her and asked to be picked up because the family wouldn’t let him shower because it wasn't a 'bath day.'
He explained that Brandon's family had specific "bath days" and since it wasn't a bath day, Jason wasn't allowed to shower. After hanging up with Jason, she called Brandon's mother Ashley and talked to her about it.
“I immediately call Ashley and inform her that Jason needs a shower and if she could just allow him to do so,” she wrote. “She basically explained to me that since my child is in her home he must follow her rules (which is fair), I agreed with her and hung up.”
After that, she called Jason and told him that she was coming to pick him up. Surprisingly, Jason was happy to hear that she was coming to get him and had already packed up his bags.
The mother of the boy's friend was quite angry when she came to pick up her son.
Ashley reprimanded the mother and told her that she should teach her son to follow other people’s rules.
“I told her he was uncomfortable and I’m not going to keep my child in an uncomfortable situation he doesn’t want to be in, especially if I can help,” the woman explained.
The argument went on but the woman tried to keep it down as the kids were around.
People online let the woman know that she wasn’t in the wrong.
“My mom would also come get me if I didn't want to sleep over for whatever reason, so your kid didn't want to stay over, and so you got him. There's nothing wrong with that,” one commenter wrote.
“Respecting a rule at a home is something to teach a child, but also teaching a kid they don't need to stay when they are uncomfortable is important.”
Another person wrote, “I don't know why people are debating you on showering, that is not the issue. The issue is that they were bad host, your son was a guest and if the guest wants to shower, you let them shower.”
“And for the record, you didn’t teach him that he doesn’t have to follow other people’s rules. He has to follow other people’s rules when he’s at other people’s houses, and if he doesn’t like it he can leave. That’s what you taught him,” said another.
Backing kids up when they are in uncomfortable situations helps them navigate tricky situations
This mother's devotion to her son's wellbeing is clear, even in a challenging situation. It's important to teach our kids to follow rules in other people's homes, but it's just as important (if not moreso) to let them speak up when they feel uncomfortable.
The overwhelming support from others online shows that there's nothing wrong with picking up your child from a sleepover when they're unhappy. It's about finding a balance — following rules while knowing it's OK to leave if you're not comfortable.
Parents that show empathy for their children’s needs while fostering open and judgement-free communication help their kids learn to navigate tricky social situations with both respect and confidence, all while keeping them safe.
Sanika Nalgirkar is a news & entertainment writer. She has a master's degree in creative writing. See more of her writing on her website.