Mom’s Reasons For Not Inviting Every Kid From Her Son’s Class To Birthday Party Gets Backlash From Other Mothers

Her reasons were valid.

kids birthday party wavebreakmedia / Shutterstock 

Birthday parties remain a popular debate topic in the parenting community, and they are something people tend to feel very strongly about, especially if they believe their child is being excluded. 

One mother found herself in hot water with other parents after inviting only a small portion of the children in her son’s class to his birthday party. 

The mother shared her story on the subreddit thread, “r/AmItheA–hole” (AITA), seeking the opinion of other users regarding the situation. Users had the choice to give her a “You’re the A–hole” (YTA) rating if they believed that she was wrong or a “You’re Not the A-hole” (YNTA) rating if they thought she was not. 


The 28-year-old mother began her post by sharing that she had an eight-year-old son, whom she threw a birthday party for a few months back. The party stirred controversy among other parents of children in her son’s class. 

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“This whole thing happened last April, but I am still getting complaints,” she wrote. “So here I am asking strangers for a judgment on the Internet.” 

The mother shared that last year was her son’s first year at a “big kids” school, as her son called it. For the last couple of years, he did not have the chance to experience being in his first-grade class due to the pandemic. 


The mother stated that money was tight for her family at the time.

“We are not in the best place financially; like most families, our consumer debt piled on and we are throwing every spare cent of at it,” she wrote. 

Still, she wanted to throw her son a party when his birthday came around. Due to her financial situation, the mother said that she only invited five of her son’s classmates whom he considered his closest friends. 

However, she made an effort to make his other classmates feel included in the festivities to the best of her ability. “For the others, I sent two dozen cupcakes and juice boxes to class,” she wrote. 

She added that she sent the party invites to the children’s houses so that her son wouldn’t have to deliver them in front of other children in the class. 


For the birthday party, the mother baked nine individual cakes for the children to decorate with buttercream frosting, along with sugar cookies. She also composed a make-your-own-pizza station for lunch, with tortillas, pizza sauce, and a variety of toppings. 

She told the children to bring their swimsuits and water guns as well. 

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After the party, the children returned to school the following week and talked about it with other classmates.

“The kids would not stop raving about how fun the party was, how it was the best birthday party ever,” the mother wrote. 

Needless to say, the children who were not invited were not thrilled. The woman shared that a couple of the other parents confronted her over their children not being invited. 


“I said that I am sorry, but it was a small party for his close friends only,” she explained. Still, other parents did not accept her response and continued to be resentful. 

“I didn’t take it seriously then, but now it is a new school year, almost six months later, and I am still getting the occasional comment thrown at me,” the mother wrote. “So, AITA?” 

Redditors defended the mother’s decision and declared her “NTA.” 

“NTA. You invited FIVE children. I am honestly boggled at any parents that think it’s okay to confront you about the fact their child was not invited. That is absurd honestly,” one user commented. 

Other users believed the mother was right since inviting the whole class was not the norm.


“I've never heard of people inviting the whole class tbh. When I was a kid it was always just the close friends and the birthday kid had to bring something to class to share (like candy or cake) but looking back at it even that is weird,” another user wrote. 

Users praised the mother for doing the best she could with little money.

“Yeah, this is ridiculous, a party is clearly for people’s friends, if these mothers want every kid invited then they need to pay for the financial cost for a party every time someone has a birthday and then include everyone NTA,” another user added. 


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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.