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She told him to do whatever he wants with his money, then got angry when he did.
By John Sundholm — Written on Jan 25, 2023
A man is in serious drama with his girlfriend after buying a house without her approval after she told him she didn't want to be involved.
Posting to the "r/AmITheA--hole" (AITA) subReddit, he described how the conflict arose between them.
In his post, he detailed how uninterested his girlfriend had been in the house-hunting process, and how she ultimately told him to "do what you want" when it came time to buy.
But her view quickly changed as soon as he actually bought the house.
The man was supporting his girlfriend financially during the COVID-19 pandemic because she got laid off and has mental health issues, and wanted to buy a larger house so they'd have more space.
During the three years they'd been together so far, they were living in a tiny two-bedroom cottage they rented from his girlfriend's parents.
They agreed they should get a bigger house together—but they also began fighting a lot. "She’d often demand I leave," he writes, "even at night when I needed sleep for work the next day."
He writes that he "hated being unwelcome in the place I paid for that I considered home," so when he found "what I think is the right house," he was ready to pounce on it, given the insane real estate market.
His girlfriend claimed to be interested in the house, but after they had a fight the day they were meant to view it, she backed out.
He ended up going to the real estate showing alone but took several videos to show his girlfriend.
"My position is if it's not good for Girlfriend it's not good for me," he writes, "this should be OUR house"—despite the fact that he will be paying the mortgage 100% with his own money.
But she refused to even watch the videos. When he told her he planned to put in an offer on the house anyway, she said "'do what you want it's not my money'."
After he'd signed the contracts for the house, his girlfriend revealed she hated it, and couldn't believe he bought it without her.
She told him she never imagined he'd buy the house "without her endorsement," and call the real estate agent "unprofessional" for being willing to sell it.
He went on to explain that his girlfriend's mental health issues were a fact, as her anxiety and depression sometimes make her combative and accusatory towards him.
"It's important to understand that this story is my GF at her worst, most stressed-out, most anxiety-driven," he writes, and that the timing was unfortunate.
Still, he wasn't sure if he was in the wrong or not.
Most commenters on Reddit agreed that the man had nothing to apologize for—but they thought his girlfriend was way out of line.
Many people felt his girlfriend was being manipulative. One person wrote, "End it. She’s playing games and isn’t going to stop. You don’t want to be married or start a family with someone like this."
Another agreed, adding, "for the love of god, get a prenup. Otherwise, you'll end up buying the house twice."
Others felt this conflict was a huge test of their relationship—one that his girlfriend failed.
As one person put it, "your gf wasn’t just having her worst day... The whole process was her finding things to blame you for. This was a huge relationship moment...and your gf is not there with you."
There didn't seem to be a single person, in fact, who was on the girlfriend's side on this one, and many doubted she even wanted to be in a relationship at all.
One person wrote, "that's not the behavior of a woman who has any serious interest in living with you. I suggest you keep the house you bought and leave her to live wherever she likes better."
And one user issued a sober warning for the future given how extraordinarily patient the guy was being with his girlfriend.
"Get rid of her... The deeper you get, the more she will rely on you and you will end up staying with her because...you care too much about others and forget about yourself."
"...This is the vibe I'm getting. Consider therapy if I'm right."
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.