Man Tells A Crying Woman What Single Women Over 40 Should Do If They Want To Keep A Man

His groundbreaking advice was met with a slew of criticism from women.

Scott Avery @scottaverycoach / TikTok

In a TikTok video, Scott Avery, a relationship coach on the video-sharing platform, informed viewers about the certain things that women can do that will help them "attract" and "keep a good quality man." However, Avery's list of advice garnered a bit of a stir.

Avery listed the things women over 40 should be doing to keep a man.

In his video, Avery stitched a clip of a woman over 40 who was getting emotional about the lack of interest men have in dating women of that age. "To any woman in their 40s, I'm gonna tell you the secret on how to attract a man [and] how to keep a man," Avery began.


He claimed that men in their 30s and 40s don't care at all about a woman's career or if they have a house or anything about their professional lives. "We've been through relationships, we might have been through a marriage and divorce. We've had all those things already."



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Avery insisted that older men only want three things from women their age when it comes to romantic partnerships.

For the first one, he explained that a woman over 40 has to be "attractive," and to put their "best foot forward" if there is something they want to change about their appearance.

For the second one, women over 40 should be "nice," instead of continuing to act the way they might've during their early 20s. "The sh-t you did when you were young and cute, like causing drama and being flaky, that does not fly anymore."

For the third and final tip, Avery insisted that women over 40 should strive to be attentive and affectionate with a male partner. "Don't hold back on that. Don't withdraw and make them work for it or wait for it, we're not gonna put up with that."

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In the comments section, many women were displeased by Avery's 'advice.'

"How about [we] just be ourselves & don't worry about what men think about us. Just go out have fun and if it works out great if not we have a new friend," one TikTok user pointed out.

Another user added, "This is how men in their twenties think, a man over 30 needs to care about his partner's career, family, dreams, etc."

"A man that doesn’t care about your career or your achievements is not a man you should be around. He will always feel threatened by success," a third user added. 

Women, no matter their age, should never feel pressured to prioritize their appearance or cater to societal expectations of what a man might want when it comes to dating.

Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and appreciation. If someone feels compelled to change their appearance or interests to please a potential partner, it sets an unequal dynamic that can be detrimental in the long run.


Women of all ages should strive to reject outdated notions of what men want or how women should act to get a man and embrace a more empowered and authentic approach to dating. Finding a partner who values you for who you truly are is far more rewarding and fulfilling than trying to be someone you're not to meet appalling external expectations.

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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.