Man Wonders If He Is Wrong For Refusing To Let His 2nd Wife Have A Say In How To Parent His Children

She went overboard.

Mom with kids / Shutterstock

A man has posted to the subreddit 'AITA' (Am I The A**Hole), asking for opinions on if he was in the wrong or not after refusing to let his second wife have a say in how to parent his children.

The man starts off by explaining that he and his ex-wife divorced shortly after the birth of their 9-year-old daughter, and also have a 12-year-old son together. 

"It wasn't a messy breakup in the slightest, she just fell out of love, and we still maintain an incredible friendship today," the man wrote in his Reddit post. 


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Despite not being together anymore, the man says that co-parenting with his ex-wife is "easy," and that the two share 50/50 custody between their two children. One week the kids will be with him, and the other week the kids will be with her.

But things got messy when his 2nd wife had her own ideas about how to discipline his kids. 

The man and his ex-wife both agreed on the way they would raise their children and how to punish them if they were to misbehave. Their biggest rule was that they didn't want one parent favored over the other.


The man had been dating his second wife for around seven years before they were married and she has always been good to his children, up a recent incident.

Last week, the man's daughter had stolen two packets of chocolate from a little corner store.

The man and his ex-wife would've taken their daughter back to the store to return the stolen chocolate and apologize to the owner as punishment for stealing, but the man's wife took it upon herself to dole out her own punishment.

His current wife took his children home, sat his daughter down at the table and forced her to eat the entire package of chocolate by herself, making her brother watch. 

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"She continued to make my daughter eat even after she'd complained of a belly ache. My son told me when I got home from work."

He immediately confronted his wife, telling her that he and his ex have their own system in place when it comes to disciplining their children and that she had no right to go against their methods.

"It keeps everything consistent and I didn't appreciate her making my daughter feel sick (she slept all night and skipped dinner because of her stomach)," the man added.

His wife became upset, telling him that he can't expect her to be married to him and not have a say in how the children are raised.

The man repeated what he'd said earlier, that how the children are raised falls on him and his ex-wife, and that she should learn to respect that and follow their methods.


As a result, the man has received the silent treatment from his wife for a few days and went to go stay with her mother.

His wife's mother is also calling him an "a**hole," and saying that he's treating her as an unequal parental figure in the house.

She believes that she should have a say in how the kids are raised since she's their stepmother.

The man spoke to his ex-wife about the situation, and she agreed with his stance, thanking him for standing up for our choices and defending our agreement.


Most people under the Reddit thread were in agreement that the man was NTA (Not The A**Hole).

"For 7 years your now wife understood how things worked and went along with it but now that she's married she thinks she has a say in the discipline of your children? It is super weird that she did that and her form of discipline is abusive and just appalling," one user commented.

Another user commented, "Wife IS an unequal partner. Both parents agree with how to rear their kids. Just because you put a ring on that finger does not mean she gets free reign. It wasn't an issue before you got married. She's making it an issue."

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Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Follow her on Instagram.