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Her family and friends are blaming her.
By NyRee Ausler — Written on Nov 24, 2022
A woman recently took to the subreddit, "r/TrueOffMyChest" to share her concerns and actions over her boyfriend’s new relationship with a female coworker.
She starts by telling readers they were together for three years but just moved in together about a month ago.
She was excited when her boyfriend made a new friend at work.
The Redditor starts by saying that when her boyfriend told her he had finally connected with a 25-year-old woman from work, she was excited for him.
She wanted her partner to enjoy his job and he told her that he and the young woman had a lot in common — he seemed to have found a genuinely good friend.
However, once she met the coworker, she noticed several red flags in her behavior.
According to her, “She was hostile. She called me the lucky one. And asked me if I felt threatened by younger women since I’m older.”
She goes on to clarify that she is just a few years older than the coworker and only six months older than her boyfriend.
To make matters worse, her boyfriend laughed when she asked the question.
When she expressed her concerns about the woman to her beau, he labeled her “jealous and ridiculous” and continued building the connection between himself and the other woman.
He spent their anniversary texting his new friend.
She shares that last weekend, as she and her boyfriend celebrated their anniversary, his newly discovered bestie was texting all night.
In one of the texts, she asked him if he was having fun.
When he said that he was, she responded, “If you’re really having fun, you wouldn’t be texting me instead.”
The Redditor asked her man to put his phone away and questioned whether or not he found the other woman’s texts appropriate.
He assured her that it was just a joke and defended the coworker’s sense of humor, telling his girlfriend to “loosen up."
She refused and demanded he cut the disrespectful friend off.
Defiantly, her boyfriend refused, calling her “controlling” and insecure."
He wanted her to trust and respect him, but she wasn’t happy that he was putting his new friendship above their relationship.
She decided that she would break up with him because of this.
The woman could not decide whether her insecurities or his lack of boundaries were the problem.
Either way, she took the next day off of work and moved back into the apartment she had shared with her friend one short month ago.
Her friends and family think she went too far and should discuss the matter with her boyfriend maturely, but she explains, “But I have tried. For many months. To make him understand that I was very uncomfortable.”
He has since begun texting her many times every day, insisting that the coworker is just a friend and begging his estranged girlfriend to stop being childish.
Now she wants to know if she is in the wrong for leaving the relationship.
Overall, commenters are advising her to trust her gut.
One person shared a life lesson, “I used to think that I didn’t have good instincts. Then I realized I did; I just wasn’t very good at listening to them.”
Another reader agreed with her decision saying, “100% this. He’s minimizing your feelings and trying to downplay this girl even though he’s obviously enjoying the attention he gets from her.”
She continues, “He’s showing you his true colors, and this has the potential to spiral into something heartbreaking and nasty. Good for you for not wasting your time with someone who does not value you.”
If, after three years, he doesn’t prioritize your feelings over a woman he just met, he’s telling you exactly where you stand in his life.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle, entertainment and news, and self-focused content, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.