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Man Wonders If He Is Wrong For Refusing To Care For Newborn At Night While Wife Is On Maternity Leave

Photo: novak.elcic | Shutterstock
husband and wife arguing in living room

A man has posted to the subreddit 'AITA' (Am I The A**Hole), asking for advice after getting into a disagreement with his wife over their newborn baby.

The man's wife had been given 16 weeks of maternity leave by the company she works for. This, of course, is a relatively short period of time when you think of all the woman needs to do to recover from child birth, care for her baby and prepare to return to work.

Any new mom knows that the early days with newborns are long and exhausting and every parent needs a helping hand.

However, her husband seems to think this is not the case.

The man refuses to care for their baby during the night, believing it's his wife's responsibility.

Instead of offering to care for the baby as much as possible while he's home, he instead asked his wife to take care of their baby during the night while he slept.

The man's excuse was that he works during the week, and has to wake up early everyday, so he wants to be able to get enought sleep before having to go into work.

"I told her that after I get off work I will take over entirely, do all chores cook, take care of the baby and even more so on weekends where I have no issue staying up late, waking up early or multiple times in the night for her to catch up on all of her needed rest," the man wrote in his Reddit post.

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However, the wife, rightfully so, doesn't find fair. She told him that she wants it to be an even split, which the man doesn't agree with.

Most people who commented under the Reddit post were in agreement that the man was in the wrong after being voted YTA (You're The A**Hole).

"What exactly is she doing during the day while you're at work? Daydreaming? Looking after a newborn during the day, alone, is stressful. She'll be deeply postpartum, healing, and you expect her to get up every night m-f? I get it. You're working. I'm the breadwinner in the family," one user commented.

"But you know what you get at work? An entire lunch break to do whatever you want. You get to piss whenever you want. If something is over your head, you have colleague's to help you. Your office isn't dependant completely on you."

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"Looking after a child is emotionally and mentally draining, far more than work. Those tiny humans can bring you to your knees in an hour on a bad day. Even when you come home, her work is still there. Screaming. Man up and help out at night."

Another user commented, "You work 9am-10pm, 13hrs (corrected) She works 10pm-6pm, 20 hrs. You get 8 hrs of sleep, she gets 4 hrs. You get alone time during the day, she does not. You get help at work. She does not."

Taking care of a child, especially a newborn, should be a 50/50 split between both parents, especially when one parent is already staying home all day with the infant. 

"She needs rest just as much as you do. Getting a bit of sleep on weekends doesn’t come close to making up for being up nights all week. Also in a few short weeks she will presumably be going back to work so you both are going to have to do nights then. Might as well start how you mean to finish," another user commented.

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Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Follow her on Instagram.