Jill Dillard And Husband Derick Dillard Are 'Done With Secrets' & Expose The Duggar Family Secrets In Their Upcoming Tell-All Memoir

Since the Duggars shot to fame, their secrets have just continued piling up.

jill and derick dillard kissing selfie, jill in jumpsuit @jillmdillard / Instagram

Jill Dillard is the fourth child and second daughter of Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar. She was thrust into the spotlight when her family began appearing on TLC’s reality show "19 Kids and Counting," and the spin-off show "Counting On." 

Since exiting the show in 2017, Jill has continued to keep her fans updated on her life through the Dillard Family Blog she writes with her husband, Derick Dillard, as well as her YouTube channel


As early as 2020, fans began to speculate that Dillard was distancing herself from her family since some of the choices she made deviated from the Duggar’s beliefs. This has been proven true with the announcement of her new book coming out in 2024.

The book is titled “Counting The Cost” and is a memoir Dillard co-wrote with her husband. The Dillards revealed that it will be a tell-all memoir “revealing the secrets, manipulation, and intimidation” behind both the TLC reality shows and the Duggar family itself. 

Jill and Derick Dillard ;tried to be “obedient family members” by refusing to “rock the boat,” but now that they are raising a family of their own, they refuse to keep secrets any longer.

RELATED: The Duggar’s Homeschooling Program Contains Lessons That Promote Child Abuse & Forgiving Molesters


The couple shared on their Instagram that they wish to tell their story with all of its truth because the challenges they have faced “including a lack of respect for boundaries, greed, manipulation, and betrayal, are not much different than what many people in our audience have faced.” 

One of the Duggar family secrets is the marriage advice Jim Bob and Michelle give to their children for their wedding night and honeymoon.

In the special “A Very Duggar Wedding,” which is very difficult to find since it details the wedding of Josh Duggar and his wife Anna Keller, there was a scene where Jim Bob and Michelle gave the couple advice regarding their wedding night. The advice seemed innocent enough, but according to a video posted by Katie Joy on her YouTube channel “Without A Crystal Ball,” the advice seen on TV was not the only advice given to the couple.


RELATED: The Hypocritical Reason Michelle Duggar Allegedly Had A Crew Member Fired From '19 Kids & Counting'

An unnamed source, allegedly connected to the Duggars, presented Joy with a list of the real marriage advice supposedly given to each Duggar child on the eve of their wedding. Based on the list, Michelle apparently makes the bride a bridal package and is to explain its contents. It's reported on the Duggar Family website that Michelle made a bridal package for Dillard when she got married. 

Allegedly, the bridal package contained panty liners and pads for wetness, underwear, Bonine for motion sickness, 3 outfits, a lot of pajamas, a modest swimsuit, perfume, an enema, breath spray, baby wipes to clean up after defecating, snacks, and stool softener. 


Jim Bob's 'advice' for his newlywed children is a bit more graphic and disturbing.

The second portion of the list contained Jim Bob’s alleged advice for the new couple. (A trigger warning is warranted here.)

Part one of the advice is to make sure the husband knows the importance of both partners being pleasured during intercourse. According to the source, he gave each couple a copy of the book “Intended For Pleasure” with highlighted and “dog-eared” passages. The passages include the roles of the wife and the roles of the husband.

RELATED: Josh Duggar's Cousin Amy Asked Him Why He Never 'Tried Anything' With Her Like He Did With His Own Sisters

The wife is to “get ready for her husband” by picking out lingerie with her mom and stocking up on ibuprofen and lidocaine for pain relief. Jim Bob goes into graphic detail about how to “stretch the hymen” with lidocaine for 30-45 minutes or up to several hours so sex will not hurt their new wife.


Each wife is also supposed to allow her husband to help them out of their wedding dress for his “first look.” Jim Bob's last piece of supposed advice is for the couple to have intercourse 3-4 times daily.

Joy went into detail about the intense clean-up process that was disclosed on the list.

The newlyweds are supposed to help get rid of all evidence that the intercourse occurred by treating the sheets with peroxide, using their own towels for showering afterward or cleaning any mess, and using Bounty towels to clean any bodily fluids since they are disposable. 


If this list is real, it appears that there are no boundaries in the Duggar family.

It's horrifying that the Duggars are telling their daughters that it's okay for their husbands to do these things to them, and for their sons to perform certain actions with their wives.

While we anxiously await Jill and Derick Dillard's memoir release next year, given the information revealed in the latest documentary of the Duggars, "Shiny Happy People," it doesn't come as a shock that there are many layers to the inner workings of this family.

RELATED: Fans Think They’ve Uncovered The Reason The Duggar’s Oldest Daughter, Jana, Hasn’t Married Yet

Tarah Hickel is a Washington-based writer and a frequent contributor to YourTango. She focuses on entertainment and news stories including viral topics and celebrity stories.