How Pamela Anderson Knew Her Relationship With Tommy Lee Was Doomed — A Realization That May Have Saved Her Life

Their relationship was extremely tumultuous.

Pamela Anderson, Tommy Lee YouTube | Tinseltown | Shutterstock

Pamela Anderson is speaking out about her tumultuous relationship with her ex-husband, Tommy Lee.

Anderson, who is gearing up for the release of her memoir and Netflix documentary, 'Pamela, a love story,' reflected on her time with Lee, whom she married in 1995 after knowing him for just a few days.

The former couple was married for three years before splitting in 1998, though they would eventually reconcile twice more before ending their relationship for good in 2010.


Anderson and Lee's relationship was filled with conflict, and Anderson is now admitting that there were warning signs in the beginning.

Pamela Anderson reveals why her relationship with Tommy Lee was set up to fail from the start.

During a January 2023 interview with CBS Sunday Morning, Anderson admitted that she and Lee "fell in love" straight away and it "felt like this really safe space."

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"He would arrive at the house on a horse with a full knight gear on—knight in shining armor—and read a scroll to me," the actress recalled. 


"It was just so hyper-heightened, but it felt good. It felt like, ‘Oh my gosh, this is what it’s all about. This is true love.'”

These kinds of acts may have convinced Anderson to stick around in the beginning but time proved that this was a sign of an underlying problem.

When CBS Sunday Morning host Jim Axelrod pointed out that Lee's over-the-top gesture was "not a foundation for sustainable love," Anderson agreed.

“No, it’s not a foundation for sustainable love. I haven’t done that yet. I haven’t figured that part out yet,” she said with a laugh.

This acknowledgment has taken time and though Anderson says she wouldn't have done anything differently, the steps Anderson took to leave Lee may have saved her life.


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Lee and Anderson's relationship was marked by violent episodes often talked about in the media.

Anderson and Lee's relationship often made headlines throughout the years due to their constant back-and-forth troubles.

Most famously, in February 1998, Anderson called the police on her then-husband after the pair were involved in a physical altercation while Anderson was holding their son, Dylan.

Lee was arrested after Anderson called the authorities and accused him of kicking her in the back and buttocks as she held their newborn son. 


Anderson eventually filed for divorce shortly after, but that wasn't the end of their relationship.

The former 'Baywatch' actress has continued to reflect positively on their relationship despite the abusive nature of their time together, which is fairly common for many survivors of domestic violence.

According to Women Against Crime, the hardest part for an abuse victim is, to them, the honeymoon phase between them and their partner still holds so much promise.

"They can see that the abuser knows his behavior is wrong and that he wants to change it," the organization stated, which is only heightened when the abuser and victim have children together.


However, it's rare that an abuser will change their behavior, and the only way to end the cycle is for the victim to leave.

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Anderson previously called Lee the 'definition of narcissist/sociopath.'

One of Lee and Anderson's most public disputes happened in 2018, after their son, Brandon, then 21, allegedly knocked Lee unconscious.

Lee and his son continued to go back and forth on social media, with Lee accusing Brandon of punching him unprompted and then running from the police.

Brandon, though, claimed that he had been trying to defend himself from his alcoholic father.


The incident led Anderson to write a blog post titled "Alcoholism is the Devil."

In the blog post, Anderson labeled Lee as "sick," and "the definition of narcissist/sociopath," before admitting that she hoped Lee would get the help he needed.

"His actions are desperate and humiliating – he is a disaster spinning out of control. and he is not acting like a father. But this is nothing new," she wrote.

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Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.