Photo: Natalia Kabliuk / Shutterstock
What do you think?
By Victoria Soliz — Written on Oct 04, 2022
Weddings can be tense at times and even the best of us have arguments with are loved ones when under pressure.
But one man has been forced to reevaluate his relationship with his mother after a cruel stunt she pulled at his wedding.
Now, he’s taken to Reddit’s “r/AmItheA–hole (AITA) to ask if he’s in the wrong.
The Reddit thread is a place where people from across the internet ask for advice on a conflict in their lives.
The man kicked his mother out of his wedding after she brought his late wife's parents.
“My late wife passed away 6 years ago, we dated for 4 years and were married for 1 before her passing," the man begins his post.
"My mom loved her as a daughter since I'm her only child and I guess she never truly recovered."
He explains that he loved his wife too but, after meeting someone else and falling in love once again, he doesn't think she was the love of his life.
Now he is with a woman named Helena, whom he just married, and his mother has been critical, claiming he moved on "too fast."
Ahead of their wedding, his mother began acting out.
"My mom was constantly talking and comparing the wedding with my first one," he writes, detailing how his mother was frustrated that his second wedding was going to be more lavish.
But, being older and more financially stable now, he could afford to splash out on his nuptials this time around.
However, his main issue with his mom was a request she made about the guest list.
"She asked several times if I could invite my late wife's parents to my wedding as an act of love and to tell them I was still there for them, but I refused," the man writes.
"I haven't [talked] to them in years and I have no reason for keeping them in my life.”
His mother was adamant and even Helena told him that she didn't mind but he was concerned about his mom's fixation on the idea.
"I felt like my mom had [held] onto my previous marriage too hard, refusing to let go and inviting me to do the same," he writes.
"I want to be with Helena without the burden of always having my ex-in-laws there, watching the life her daughter and I did not have.”
His mother went against his wishes and ruined his wedding day.
When he spotted his former in-laws at the event, he asked them why they were there.
"They, very ashamed, said that my mother had invited them and they thought it was okay," he explains.
He told them they could stay but made it clear that it wasn't what he had wanted.
But, when it came to his mother, he was less forgiving and insisted that she leave straight away.
"She cried and begged, but I asked her again to leave, in the end, the three of them left together," he adds.
Reddit users had mixed feelings.
One user said solely on the wedding that the original poster (OP) wasn’t in the wrong.
However, they noted OP sounded, “callous speaking about your late wife like that, almost like it was convenient that she passed so you could move on to find your ‘true love.’"
"Both you and your mom need therapy. And OP you did need to treat your ex-in-laws better, they were unwittingly brought into this situation by your mom and had no idea," they continued.
Another user, in reply to that comment, said “Disagree that he sounds callous! He sounds fine. His mother is holding on to grief and using her belief that her feelings are the 'right' feelings to pull the OP back into the past."
"I agree that since he did not maintain a connection with his late wife’s parents, it’s awkward to invite them to the wedding. It would be totally utterly different if they were married longer before his late wife’s passing if there were kids involved if the OP had maintained a connection- but none of these things happened. NTA.”
Victoria Soliz is a writer with YourTango who covers news and entertainment content. Her work explores pop culture trends, film and TV, and celebrity news