Girlfriend Wants To Know How To 'Politely' Tell Her Boyfriend That He Is Gaining Weight

Is there ever a 'polite' way to comment on your partner's insecurities?

girlfriend asks how to politely tell bf he is getting fat Sagar Kumar / Pexels

A woman posted to the popular “r/ask” subreddit to get advice on an issue in her relationship that she's had trouble addressing.

The woman sought advice on how to politely tell her boyfriend that he’s gaining weight.

Though the post was incredibly short and only about a paragraph long, she stated that she would never break up with her boyfriend over his weight gain and that she loves him.

Many Reddit users asked for information about the length of their relationship, asking, “How long have you been together? Have you had to have an uncomfortable conversation before, and if so, how did that go? Is he more sensitive about his weight than anything else?"


Because of the lack of advice, Redditors requested additional information to give proper advice. “No truly useful advice can be dispensed without this info” was a popular comment seen throughout the thread. However, the girlfriend did not provide clarification to the questions she was being asked.

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woman asks advice on how to tell boyfriend he gained weightPhoto: Reddit


Instead of giving advice, most comments made jokes and poked fun at the situation. Despite the hurtful comments, some did offer advice, like one user who claimed that when their wife told them straight up, they lost the weight and they were both happy in the end.

Others claimed that sometimes it's best to be straightforward, but that doesn't always work. Again, it mainly depends on the length of the relationship and the type of relationship two people have with one another.

The girlfriend eventually responded to her post by saying that her boyfriend is sensitive and that she really doesn’t want to hurt his feelings.

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Many agreed that the best solution was to say nothing to her boyfriend about his weight or body.

It’s pretty easy to assume that the boyfriend already knows that he's gaining weight, so saying something may hurt his feelings even more. Especially if he’s as sensitive as she says he is. Almost everyone is sensitive about weight, so saying something like that is quite hurtful, no matter how you say it.

Throughout the thread, some gave great advice, suggesting asking him to go on gym dates, cooking healthy meals together, and asking him about his mental health.

Someone tried framing the question as if it was her in the situation, adding, “How would you want to be told that you’re fat?” Though others retorted that it’s hard to accept that your partner is losing physical attraction to you because of weight gain, nobody would like to be told that.

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girlfriend asks how to politely tell bf about weight gainPhoto: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels

At the end of the day, no one should ever comment or criticize their partner's body. This can lead to severe self-esteem and mental health issues. What couples should do instead is support and love each other no matter what

Weight is a sensitive topic, and making comments about anyone's body should be discouraged. No one wants to hear that they are packing on a few pounds, but if it's coming from your partner, the person who is supposed to love you unconditionally, it makes that feeling even worse.


Our bodies will fluctuate with time and age. A critical partner won't make that any easier. So the best thing to do is to offer kindness, support, and empathy as we all take these journeys to love our bodies.

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Cortney Crowell is a writer and frequent contributor to YourTango from New Jersey who covers entertainment, news, and human interest stories.