Emmy-Winning Reporter's 3-Step Formula For How To Tell When Someone Is Lying To You

A liar is someone you want to avoid, especially when you are in a relationship with them.

man swearing to tell the truth with hand on heart Imágenes de andres barrionuevo lopez / Canva Pro
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Emmy-winner reporter Danielle Radin has a few tricks up her sleeve about how to tell when there is a liar in your life, especially in a relationship.

Danielle Radin has a 3-step formula for identifying a liar.

After interviewing psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists her whole career, she took to TikTok to share some tips on how to avoid liars, especially if their body language isn't offering any clues.

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Radin shared that seasoned liars who can mask body language cues likely fabricate every day “like they are ordering lunch,” because, "they don't care about lying to you." So why not just give a narcissist a liar detector test?

   

   

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According to Radin, it's because their “heart rate does not go up.” And she's right. Psychopaths and sociopaths are often not revealed by lie detector tests because their bodies are unaffected by their actions. 

So instead of playing truth or lie, Radin shared her tips on how to work through these fibs with a three-step formula.

1. Ask your partner questions you already know the answers to.

This is a good way to have a baseline when you know what your partner sounds like and looks like when they are telling the truth. Radin used the example of using a simple question like, "What was the first restaurant we went to on our first date?" 

If your partner can answer any of these personal yet simple questions correctly, they have passed step one.

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Now, as Radin explained, "You have a foundation for what they sound like and look like when they're telling the truth."

2. Ask your partner a question you know is wrong.

Now that you know what your partner sounds like when they are telling the truth, you need to ask them a question that will give you a baseline for what they sound like and look like when they are lying.

This will likely be a more leading question because you need to ensure the lie. Radin used the example: "And after our first date, didn't you go to your ex's house that night?"

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Radin explained that you should keep an eye out for responses like, “Yeah ugh no” or if the responder takes a long pause to think. “When a narcissist is lying to you, it’s going to be rehearsed,” she continued, “they’re not going to be caught off guard. They’ve already thought about every single answer that they could possibly give”.

After this, you can ask them whatever question you want because now you know how they will act when lying and telling the truth

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3. Ask them the question you really want to ask them.

If your partner is not answering the questions you ask and throwing accusations, they are lying to you.

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The biggest liars will defend themselves and manipulate you into thinking they are a good person by presenting a good image. Radin detailed how to avoid this by listening to the words your partner says.

Narcissistic liars like to, as Radin described, "jump to the hypothetical" when they are faced with a question that they don't want to answer. Listen for phrases like, “Never in a million years” that they think will distract you and give them a chance to avoid the question. 

They will also attempt to throw you off by shifting blame, especially to you. Listen for phrases like: “You think I would do something like that?” Or, if they really feel like they are pushed into a corner, they are going to lash out: “How could you even ask me that question unless you’re the one cheating on me?”

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Once you are aware of how your partner responds to right and wrong answers, if they get defensive and start throwing accusations or avoiding the question, you can almost bet you are dealing with a liar.

When it comes to liars, especially good liars, it might be hard to even use the test, but don't despair. That's where you need to trust your gut. If you think you are being lied to, chances are you probably are, and it's on the person who is likely lying to prove otherwise.

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Lauren Reams is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment and news.