Don’t Accept A Date Without Asking The Guy This Important Question About Cats
His answer could be a dealbreaker for many women.
@happyfitzam / TikTok In the world of modern dating, it can be hard to figure out if someone is going to be the right match off of the bat. However, a relationship coach named Zamaria Thompson offered up a simple question that women can ask men on the first date to help weed out the good ones from the red flags.
She explained why women should ask men how they feel about cats to get a good understanding of their personalities.
In a TikTok video, Thompson, a content creator and wellness coach who offers relationship and life advice, advised anyone who might be going on a date with a man to ask them a super simple question about cats, which might be able to tell a lot about how they'll act in a relationship.
"The question is really simple but has a meaning. You're gonna ask him how he feels about cats, and you don't even have to tell him that you have a cat or anything, but just be like, 'Are you more of a dog or cat person?' or 'How do you feel about cats?'" Thompson explained.
She claimed that if he has a positive or neutral stance about it, and admits that he either doesn't mind cats or loves them, then he's in the clear and that could actually be a green flag. However, if you ask the question and a man has a disgusted or negative reaction, then it could be an indicator that his personality could be a bit of a red flag.
"He's like, 'Oh my God, cats are crazy. I can't stand them. They're mean.' You know we've all talked to somebody who has a really negative reaction about cats for whatever reason," Thompson continued. She theorized that people with such a visceral reaction to cats are usually the same types of people who love control.
"I swear this means those people or that person doesn't like things that are unpredictable and that they can't control," she insisted, pointing out that usually, dogs are often fairly easy to train and get along with most people, while cats are more reserved and it takes a lot to get a cat to feel comfortable around you.
Many women have admitted to finding men more attractive if they own or love cats, while others don't agree.
Cats are often associated with qualities such as independence, mystery, and sensitivity. A man who likes or owns cats is often perceived as having a softer, more nurturing side, which can be appealing to women who value emotional intelligence and empathy in a partner.
Since cats are often standoffish and take more time to warm up to people, generally, women may perceive men willing to take on that challenge as being more patient and not controlling, as mentioned by Thompson in her video. Women may view a man who can connect with cats as someone who is likely to be understanding and considerate in interpersonal relationships.
In a June 2023 article written by VICE, they interviewed multiple women about whether they are more willing to swipe right for men on dating apps if they show their cats in their profiles.
"Men with cats generally fit my type,” Amber, a 29-year-old from London told the publication. “I perceive them as creative, usually bearded and tattooed, and into the same art as me. I find ‘dog’ men too vanilla.”
“I love cats so much and picture my future partner and me with three or four,” Maeve, a 33-year-old from Dublin informed VICE. “Naturally, if the first photo on a dating app shows a cat, it’s an instant yes from me.”
However, both women were quick to shift their stance after swiping right for men on dating apps with cats. "Dating is rough right now and Hinge is a bin fire. Sadly, I’ve not found any correlation between owning a cat and not being a [expletive]. They’ll still ghost you, but just dig the knife in by getting you excited to meet their cute pet.”
In a study conducted by Colorado State University, it was found that women are less likely to swipe right – or say yes – to men if they’re posing with a cat in a picture. When the women were shown a cat-free photo of a man, 38% of women said they were likely or very likely to casually date him, while 37% said they’d consider a serious relationship with him, compared to photos of a man with a cat.
While Thompson's theory can be a silly little experiment to have on a first date, and could even be a fun icebreaker, it's important to remember that someone can still be a bad or toxic partner whether they like cats or not. There are other definitive and thorough ways to get to know someone's personality and figure out if they're a good match for you, and with any dating advice, it's crucial to balance fun and spontaneity with a deeper understanding of each other to form genuine connections.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.