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Is he being bitter?
By Kurtis Condra — Written on Jul 27, 2022
A father on Reddit is asking for advice and wondering if he is wrong about a decision he made regarding his daughter's wedding.
He wanted to know if refusing to pay for his daughter's wedding would make him a bad father, laying out the reason why he's doing so for others to judge.
He's cutting the funding from her wedding because she's including her mother's family more than his.
Posting on the subreddit "r/AmITheA--hole," a father shared the story of his dilemma.
In this subreddit, you can post your conflict and let the community decide whether your decision places you in the right, or in the wrong.
Once you present your story, individuals will decide if YTA, which means "you're the a--hole," if you're NTA, which means "not the a--hole," or if ESH, which means "everyone sucks here."
Beginning his post, the father says he has a 22-year-old daughter, named Diana, with his ex-wife Michaela.
He and Michaela divorced when Diana was 10 due to unhappiness in their relationship but claims that he and his daughter remain on good terms and that she is getting married in two months.
He agreed to pay for the wedding while she and her soon-to-be husband would pay nothing.
The father remarried a woman named Kylie when Diana was 14.
He claims that she and Kylie got along very well, but that Diana stopped coming over after his son with Kylie was born because she didn't like kids — something she soon got over.
As he and Diana were going over wedding details, the father noticed something.
"I noticed my wife’s name wasn’t on the table next to me. I asked Diana where her step-moms spot was. She said 'oh I didn’t know she would be coming,'" the father said in his post,.
He asked why she thought she wouldn't be coming, and she assumed she would be at home watching their son.
The father then wondered if her half-brother was invited, and Diana's response was "if y'all want him to come."
The father said that his daughter didn't consider his side of the family but then found out that Diana wants her stepdad to walk her down the aisle, along with him.
"My ex remarried four years ago to a guy with a 10 year old son. So she wanted us both to walk her down the aisle," he writes. "Which I found ridiculous because this guy showed up in her life at 18 and has hardly raised her like I have."
The father then learned that Diana wanted her stepdad to do half of the father-daughter dance and invited her stepbrother but not the father's son, which he found disrespectful.
He asked his daughter if Kylie would be involved, and she said no, and she and their son would be seated in the back.
The father decided he no longer wanted to help fund his daughter's wedding.
"At this point I told Diana that I would no longer be funding this wedding. As I felt like me, her step-mom and her half bro were being disrespected," the father said in his post.
After telling Diana this, she began crying, called him petty and savage, and said that she and her soon-to-be husband won't be able to pay for it.
"Well maybe your step-dad can pony up a little more than a few cases of wine or your mom can figure something out," was his response.
He said in the ending he feels he had to look out for all members of his family and not just his daughter, but he's wondering if he's wrong for his decision.
Comments have decided that ESH.
Comments are very mixed in this situation, but the majority of users who did comment on it decided that ESH, the reason being how the man is confused about his daughter's relationship with him.
He does say they "talk almost everyday" and they have a "great relationship," but everything happening in the story seems to say otherwise.
The issue is complex, and the dilemma this father is facing is an odd one.
He seems to be acting out of spite and confusion about how he truly treats his daughter, but hopefully, with the help of these strangers' advice, the issue can be resolved and the wedding can continue as planned.
Kurtis Condra covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics for YourTango. He is also a poet based in San Francisco, California. You can keep up with his poetic journey on Instagram.