Dad Brings Daughter To Daycare Early So Her Teacher Can Do Her Hair — His Ex-Wife Claims He's A 'Bad Parent'
He struggles with doing his daughter's hair on his own.
Kampus Production | Pexels "My daughter has very curly hair that my ex-wife used to take care of. Now that I'm alone with her half the time, I have to figure it out," a father started off a confessional posted to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA).
The subreddit is an online forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them.
He explained that he drops his daughter off at daycare early so the teacher can do her hair.
In his Reddit post, the father wrote that he has become a "newly divorced dad" to his three-year-old daughter.
During his marriage, his ex-wife, and the mother of their daughter, would mostly do her hair, but now that they are no longer together, on the weeks that he has his daughter, he has been struggling to do her hair.
While he does try his best, his daughter's hair ends up coming out "a frizzy, tangled mess."
As a solution, he noticed that a teacher at his daughter's daycare has similar hair to his daughter, and decided to ask if she would be able to help him style the little girl's hair every morning.
She happily agreed, telling him that if he dropped her off at the daycare early, she'd be able to get it done.
"She gave me a list of curly hair products to buy and what to bring to school. She also gave me some tips for washing and caring for it at home."
However, his daughter eventually told her mother that the daycare worker was doing her hair, and she became extremely upset at her ex-husband for allowing that.
His ex-wife accused him of being a 'bad parent' for not doing their daughter's hair himself.
After being informed about the situation by her daughter, his ex-wife immediately called him.
She asked if it was true that he's intentionally dropping off their daughter at daycare early to "avoid doing her hair." He tried to explain that their daughter's teacher was helping him out and that he has started to learn how to care for the 3-year-old girl's hair.
"She called me a bad parent for 'relying on a teacher to do my job,' and for messing up the morning routine so we could get to school early enough for the teacher to do her hair," he explained.
He added that before, their routine would be waking up, he'd attempt to do her hair, they'd eat breakfast, and then go to school.
But now, they just wake up, he gets his daughter ready for school, and they eat breakfast in the car so he can get her to daycare early for the teacher to do her hair.
"I thought I was doing right by making sure her hair is cared for on my weeks but my ex feels very strongly about this so I wanted to know if I was the a-hole."
Some people who commented on the man's Reddit post agreed that he was NTA (Not The A-hole).
"If the teacher doesn't mind doing it—which, by the way, is very generous of her and you should get her a very nice gift for her trouble—then I don't see why it's an issue," one user wrote.
"But it might be more sustainable for you to ask the teacher to train you to do your daughter's hair, because it is unlikely that future teachers will want to do this, and what will you do then?"
Another user added, "You should really be thanking her profusely and bringing her coffee or something when you bring your daughter in. I hope you realize how generous and kind she is to you."
However, other users criticized the father for not taking the time to do his daughter's hair himself.
"You should stick around every day and do it under the supervision of the teacher," a third user pointed out.
"The teacher can instruct and guide, but this is your kid and your responsibility. You need to step up."
A fourth user wrote, "You should have been involved in doing her hair while still with her mother to begin with."
"Learn to do your kid's hair and stop relying on women to do your job as a parent."
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.