Dad Who Allowed Teen Daughter To Smoke & Drink After Her Terminal Cancer Diagnosis Sparks Debate

He wants her to experience things while she still can.

Mother, daughter and father Photo: Digital Skillet/Shutterstock 

Raising a teenager is a true test of a parent's unconditional love and patience. Raising a teen with a terminal illness requires even more attention and care. 

A man took to Reddit's “r/AmItheA--hole” to tell his story about how his wife found alcohol, marijuana, and a vape in his terminally ill 16-year-old daughter's room. 

“r/AmItheA--hole” is a public forum where users can post their personal stories and receive feedback on if they are in the wrong or not. 


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The man writes that 3 months ago, the daughter was diagnosed with a late-stage form of brain cancer. 

Following the diagnosis, the parents found borrowed marijuana, an elf-bar vape, as well as a partially empty handle of Vodka. 


The parents confronted the daughter to which she confessed and said she had been using these substances for a month at this point. 

“She said that since she knew she wasn't likely going to survive past 18, she wanted to try these things socially, and assured us she was being responsible with them.”

Since his daughter was dying, the father had no issue with her experimenting.

“I do not vape, though I do smoke cigarettes, drink, and will occasionally roll myself a joint.” 

The father says that in a normal situation, he would not allow his children to indulge in these substances, but “thought I could make an exception due to the circumstances.” 


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His wife, and mother of the child, disapprove of these substances as she only has just one glass of wine every once in a while. 

"We had a conversation and came to the conclusion that she would be allowed to do these things under my supervision.” 

The mother and father agreed that it was allowed as long as the vapes and alcohol came from retail stores and marijuana from dispensaries. 

The wife remained adamant that she still did not approve of the daughter doing them at all.  

Reddit users weighed in on the post to offer feedback and suggestions. 


While some worried that the teen might be experimenting for the wrong reasons and warned the father to be mindful of her mental health, others argued that she should be free to try new things while she still can.

One user states “Let her experience what she can while she can still enjoy it. I'm assuming she's either got DIPG or Glio - both devastating.” 

“Try within your means to check off bucket list items for her. It gives her goals and reasons to get out of bed in the morning. See if you can get her with Make A Wish.” The same user suggests.  

Another user comments “She is going to miss out on so many things. Letting her have this isn't going to hurt anything.” 


Support and suggestions are what this family needs during this time, and these Reddit users did just that. 

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Annabelle Miller is a writer for YourTango based in Connecticut. She covers news, celebrity gossip, and pop culture topics.