Why Falling In Love Will Always Be Better The Second Time Around
When you fall in love the second time, it's because you truly want to.
Andrii Medvediuk / Shutterstock By Rebecca Cumming
The thing about love is that it overtakes you.
It feels so great and makes you so incredibly blissful, that you feel a little uplifted, as if you’re in the clouds. You feel so happy with your significant other, that you would do anything for them.
I mean, like hell if I was giving anyone a back rub with a half-hour of my own personal time instead of watching an episode of "Gossip Girl," unless I was in love.
And who knew I was so good at making breakfast in bed? (Yes, I actually shared the beloved bacon I had in the fridge).
The first time you love, you’re absolutely taken with the positive feelings.
All you’re thinking about is the future and how you truly can’t imagine anything ever going wrong. You aren’t doing trial testing in the store, concerned with getting the receipt, or even knowing what the process will be if you have to return this love.
Even when you’re angry, or you might feel something isn’t right, you stick it through because you love them.
During your first love, Ms. Cynicism is on vacay getting burnt in the tropics. And Ms. Heartbreak? Well, she’s the b****y cousin that hasn’t yet moved to town.
But, when this first love ends and Ms. Heartbreak does move in, you come shattering back to earth in the million tiny pieces.
It can be gut-wrenching to know how true, incredible happiness can be swiped from you in a moment. Not to mention hard AF to put back together.
But, you do it. In fact, you become stronger because of it.
You learn how situations and feelings can morph over time and how change is inevitable.
You learn how to pick yourself back up from one of the hardest things you’ve dealt with so far in your life. I mean, look at you now, you’re one badass b****.
Sure, Ms. Cynicism is back every once in a while to remind you the new guy you’re seeing might be a scumbag like the last and not the new real deal. Ms. Heartbreak has created some skepticism to the once innocent heart, although you learn to create friends out of these enemies.
You use these doubts to seriously analyze the new Mr. Perfect that walks into your life. You know the risks, and you seriously consider if you’re willing to take them.
You’ve learned so much more about what you now want, what mistakes you won’t make again and you understand your capabilities of staying strong.
This means when you fall in love the second time, it's because you truly want to.
Sure, you’re still swept off your feet, and you sure as hell are dancing on Cloud 9, although it tends to be more of a conscious decision.
You get your receipt, you know where the return desk is, but you choose not to take it back.
You still don’t see it ever ending, because yet again you are so blissfully happy. But you know that if it ever did, you would be able to handle it.
You know you can walk away and the world won’t end. Yet, everyday you choose to stay in love and to stay together. You do so because you want to, not because a feeling is taking advantage of your naïvety.
Falling in love for the second time, you feel at peace. You feel like you are right where you are supposed to be. It’s not because cupid shot you with his arrow.
It’s because everything you learned you wanted, you now have found, and are choosing to keep regardless of the risks of that wrenching heartbreak.
I’ve fallen in love for the second time and everyday I know he’s more suited for me than any man in my past. (Hey, we’re bound to get it right the second time, right?)
And despite any possibilities of a negative outcome, I’m letting myself fall.
In my eyes, there’s nothing more I could do to show someone undeniable commitment and undeniable trust than falling in love for the second time.
Rebecca Cumming is a writer whose work has been featured on Unwritten and YourTango. For more of her content, visit her author profile on Unwritten.