15 Signs Of A Needy Woman Who Drives Men Away

Photo: Gorynvd / Shutterstock
needy woman leaning on a man
Love

Signs of a needy woman are sometimes easy to miss when you first start dating and even more difficult to respond to once you're in an established relationship. 

You can tell that someone is needy based on how much they depend on you.

While everyone has needs that they'd like their partner to meet in a relationship, there are some people who go overboard.

Clinginess and neediness come from a place of deep insecurities, self-doubt, and anxiety about the future. 

So how do you know when a woman's needs are too much?

Here are the 15 signs of a needy woman.

RELATED: If You Do These 7 Things, You're Waaayyyy Too Clingy

1. She calls and texts you way too much. 

It’s only normal to want to text and call the apple of your eye.

But if someone is calling you multiple times a day, or gets angry when you’re at work and don’t respond to their texts, that’s a red flag.

A clingy girlfriend will call and text her partner too much.

Keep the phone calls and text messages to a minimum when you know your partner is busy with something else.

2. She can't be alone. 

Nobody wants to date someone who doesn’t know how to spend time alone.

The most offensive clingy behavior of all is feeling the need to spend each and every second with your partner.

The more you suffocate your partner, the higher the chance that they’ll lose interest.

3. She needs a lot of reassurance. 

A needy personality is one that requires too much assurance.

It’s okay to have an insecurity or too, but if you need too much reassurance that your partner loves you and thinks highly of you, there’s a lot of self-work that needs to happen.

It’s a turn-off to constantly need reassurance because confidence is attractive.

4. She tries to take on your hobbies.

Has she lost interest in all of her hobbies and interests so she can become more involved in yours? A needy woman will give up her life and try to absorb yours.

People are attracted to people who pursue interests outside of their romantic relationship.

Just because you’re dating doesn’t mean you need to have the same personality.

5. She won't let you hang out with other girls.

Needy women are driven by their fear of losing their romantic relationships.

In a healthy relationship, your girlfriend would let you hang out with a female friend or two — without her present.

Friendship is an important bond that needs to be cultivated. Telling your partner that they can’t hang out with other women communicates that you have major trust issues. It also will make you look like a complete control freak, which nobody likes.

6. She doesn't give you personal space.

A clingy girlfriend will refuse to give you alone time, even when you ask for it.

Needy and clingy behavior such as this is another ultimate red flag. It shows that you have no respect for your partner’s needs.

7. She is moving the relationship very quickly.

Rushing into a relationship before getting to know someone is never a good sign.

Do you feel like she has tried harder to put a label on the relationship before you're ready?

Moving too fast in a relationship can actually make your partner feel used and unseen.

RELATED: How To Deal With Needy Friends & Know Whether Or Not To Keep The Friendship

8. She brags about you too much on social media.

Are all of her posts on Instagram pictures of you? Does she share personal life updates without your consent?

Sometimes people don’t like being displayed on the internet, so it’s important to respect your partner’s boundaries IRL and online.

9. She asks your closest friends for relationship advice. 

Privacy is the best policy, even in the most intimate relationships.

A needy girlfriend will try to dig up dirt on how you’re feeling at any cost.

It’s important to respect your partner’s boundaries. If you need advice, consult your own friends.

10. She hangs onto you in public.

Not all couples are on the same page about PDA.

A clingy girlfriend will cling onto you emotionally and mentally — and physically.

Pay attention to how she treats you in public. Does she follow you around at parties? Does she get upset when you leave the table to talk to someone else?

People don’t like to feel as though they are being watched and followed at every moment throughout the night.

11. She takes disrespect.

Does she have an inability to stick up for herself?

If she's not able to assert herself with her friends and family, there's a chance she's not able to do it with you.

It's obnoxious to date someone who can't stick up for themselves because it means they have no self-worth.

People pleasers tend to expect that people will do anything and everything to please them.

12. Her happiness depends on your relationship.

What are her biggest sources of happiness? Pay attention to what she looks forward to.

If the answer is you and only you, then that's some needy and clingy behavior.

Subscribe to our newsletter.

Join now for YourTango's trending articles, top expert advice and personal horoscopes delivered straight to your inbox each morning.

Not having a life outside of your relationship puts a lot of pressure on your relationship and isn't a sign of a healthy relationship. 

13. She is in constant fear that you two will break up.

Every couple gets into a bad argument every now and then. 

But if every time you ask her to pick up after herself or tell her you need some space she assumes you'll break up with her, that's a red flag.

Your partner should be able to express their needs without being suffocated without melodrama. 

14. She ignores your boundaries.

When you try to set boundaries in your relationship, how does she react?

You should feel comfortable setting boundaries. A clingy girlfriend will lash out to needing space or time to decompress after a fight. 

15. She gets mad if you don't tell her everything.

There is a misconception that romantic partners should be completely transparent 100% of the time.

Yes, you should feel like you're able to be honest with your partner, but that doesn't mean you owe them the complete breakdown of your traumatic childhood.

If she keeps pressing you for more information, it's time to draw the line. 

How to Stop Being Needy

1. Put your phone down.

It's okay to text your partner, but if you sense you're getting on their nerves, drop the phone.

Double texting will only paint you in a negative light. 

2. Pursue your own interests.

Take a pottery class or volunteer at your local animal shelter.

Develop your own hobbies and interests outside your relationship.

You will meet new people and start feeling like your own person. 

3. Learn how to spend time alone.

This is the secret to living your best life.

If you depend on other people for happiness so much that you can't be by yourself, it's time to look within.

4. Stop asking your partner for advice.

It's time to make your own decisions. If you depend on your partner's insight too much, try the lone wolf approach to decision-making.

It's okay to make mistakes. Sometimes you make a bad decision, but you'll learn and grow from it. 

RELATED: 9 Signs You're Too Emotionally Needy (And How To Fix It)

Izzy Casey is a writer who covers pop culture, entertainment, and news.