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Help your friend get over their heartbreak.
By Megan Hatch — Written on Aug 19, 2021
Breakups are actually the worst, and no one can say otherwise. After a breakup, sometimes all you need is a warm hug and the comfort of your bestie. If you're the best friend in a breakup scenario, then you need to know what to say to your friend when they get dumped.
You don't want to upset your best friend any more than she already is so by choosing the right words to say, you can make them a person feel so much better.
Don't let her go on for too long crying into her phone while stalking her ex's social media and drinking a cheap bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. Remind her how amazing and wonderful she is and reassure her that she will find love again, even if she doesn't think she will at the moment.
It's also really hard adjusting to the single if you've been in a relationship for years. That's why she has her good friends to help her get back up on her feet and learn how to be a sexy single lady again.
In order to do so, you need to learn and know what to say to your friend when they get dumped.
1. "Your feelings are valid."
The first thing your friend needs to hear after a traumatic breakup is that her feelings are real and she is allowed to feel sad and cry and be mad. She's allowed to feel all the feelings and by you validating her feelings she can work through them and hopefully move on faster as well.
2. "I promise you, you are better off without him/her."
Let her know that she can actually do better without him or her.
She needs to be reminded of the exact reasons she's better off without her ex. So, before you tell her this one you need to make a list of reasons why she's better off without her ex and how it didn't work so she can explore new things like moving somewhere new, trying new things, and traveling more.
3. "You're going to feel better soon, it won't always be like this."
During this traumatic time, she will probably feel like this is the end of the world and that she's never going to move on or feel happy again. You need to remind her that she's not always going to feel bad and that heartbreak doesn't last forever.
Make sure when you're telling your friend this that you're saying it in a cheery way and not in a way that's going to make her feel small.
4. "Everyone has their bad days."
One of the best things you can do right now is to let her know that she's not alone. Give her permission and space to grieve she can get better sooner.
Sometimes you have to accept your negative emotions, feel them out, and then brush them away the next day. It's all about taking one day at a time.
5. "Don't even think about rebounding, the time will come when you're ready."
Some girls can rush into a rebound way too fast after a breakup and they haven't even fully gone through the grieving process yet. Make sure to remind your friend that she is allowed to have a rebound, however, only get back onto the horse when you're ready.
If you don't feel like she's ready, you need to tell her so she doesn't hop back on too soon to only injure herself again. Once she is ready, support your friend and encourage her to find a rebound, and remind her that hookups and the dating life can be fun.
6. "You will be happy again and find someone new."
Don't tell her that there are plenty of fish in the sea because that's not something she wants to hear. Just let her know that in time she can and will find someone new but most importantly she will be happy again with or without anyone.
Let her grieve her real and emotional breakup but reassure her throughout the process that she will be happy again.
7. "Let me know what I can do to help."
Make sure most importantly that you are always there for your friend and you are always there to help. If they are having trouble functioning day-to-day due to depression following their breakup, it might be best for you to just go to them and help take care of them for a couple of days because they really need someone.
Follow your friend's lead and listen to your friend's feelings. Let her know you're down for anything.
8. "You will get stronger by the minute."
The healing process works little by little but reminding them that can bring attention to how much stronger they are getting each day. Sometimes all you need is a little reminder every day so the pain lessens as time goes on.
9. "I'm proud of you for getting closure."
One of the hardest things to do after a breakup is reaching out to your ex to get closure. It can be really scary and intimidating at first but once you get everything off your chest you feel so much better about things.
Remind her that she has so many people who are proud of her for standing her ground and getting the closure that she needs and deserves.
10. "How are you feeling?"
This might be one obvious but this is something you need to ask probably almost every day post-breakup just to let her know you're checking in. If she needs your shoulder to cry on, or a bottle of wine to consume with another, then you are her girl.
A simple text message like this is going to brighten her day and lets her know that you are one of her close friends who always have her back.
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Megan Hatch is a writer at YourTango who covers pop culture, love and relationships, and self-care.