We'll Never Be Friends Again And That's Okay

Photo: Dima Aslanian / shutterstock
two friends leaning on each other
Partner
Heartbreak

By Brittany Christopoulos

After everything we’ve been through, I want you to know that I wish you no ill will.

I’ve grown up, and so have you. I know the person I want to be and who I want to become, and that surely isn’t someone who holds grudges or thinks the worst of you. 

We were best friends for years. Short of a couple of hours a week we saw each other pretty much everyday. You were my rock and my go to person when something amazing or bad happened in my life.

Although I forgive you, we can never be the best friends we once were again.

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We’ve both grown up and moved on, and unfortunately our paths will now be forever divided. After all the things you’ve said about me, and done to me behind my back, unfortunately there is no turning back now.

I know you thought I’d never find out, but words travel fast when you know lots of people. I know you weren’t fond of me dating an old friend, and you may have thought I was taking him away from you.

Although you had your concerns, who I choose to date was my business, not yours. You ended up hurting us both.

I was always there for you. Whenever you were in a hard place, I was always there to cheer you up, get you out of the house and bring you something to make you smile.

What a huge smack in the face it was to find out how you really thought about me, and better yet, how you would tell everyone false truths about me that made me seem like a huge b****. 

I didn’t know my best friend could really think so little of me, or hate me that much. You sent me into depression. You really hurt my feelings.

I had to move on. I had to separate myself from all the negativity and focus on bettering myself and my life. I did a lot of soul-searching over the years, and although I thought I would stay mad forever, I realized that it does no good to keep my anger bottled up and constantly dwell on the past.

I can’t change what happened. Neither can you. But maybe everything between us happened for a reason.

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I know you had a lot going on, and so did I. You had your friends, and I had mine. With both of us engaged in our own problems and lives, we barely had the time to see the other’s side.

Fighting turned into week-long battles and we’d go months without speaking. I know it’s not all entirely your fault; after all, there are two sides to every story.

I see that you’ve finally moved on, and seem quite happy in your life. That’s really all I ever wanted for you. 

Know that I’m doing great, too. I am making my dreams come true, found the love of my life and going after what I want. I’m finally back in school, making new friends and finding myself. I’d hope that’s what you’d want for me.

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We can’t be best friends again, and although it makes me sad, I am OK with it.

It seems as though we both got almost everything we wanted in life, including each other’s happiness. We both are where we’re supposed to be, and maybe in some twisted way, our falling out got us to where we wanted.

The rough times we went through because of each other made us stronger individuals and more clear-headed of what and who we want in our lives.

Again, I wish you no ill will, and I will always love you. If you need me I will always be there.

— Your Former Best Friend

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Brittany Christopoulos is a writer, journalist and fill-in TV co-host. She's a Senior Writer and Head of Trending News for Unwritten. Follow her on Twitter.

This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.