The author of 'You Only Fall in Love Three Times' dishes on romance and self-love.
By Audrey Jaber — Written on Mar 15, 2021
We've all heard of the soulmate love, the karmic love, and the twin flame relationship. But are there more types, and will everyone experience all three?
According to Kate Rose, author of You Only Fall in Love Three Times, these are the only three types of love in existence.
In a YourTango interview, Kate Rose breaks down what these loves are and the purpose behind each of them.
The soulmate is "that safe comfortable love," says Rose. Often this relationship will help you to figure out who you love, not who your family wants you to love.
Though the connection is comfortable, it won't encourage you to grow or step outside of your comfort zone.
Next is karmic love. This is "the challenging one that we end up thinking or hoping is forever but ends up being karmic and helps us learn so much," says Rose. This type of love should teach you about self-worth.
Lastly, there is the twin flame, whose "purpose really is to encourage us to be our better self," says Rose. This is the forever love.
But why is it that we only fall in love three times? Well, according to Rose, it's because we only need those lessons. "There's actually not really any lessons outside of them to learn about love."
Don't worry if you haven't found your twin flame just yet. Rose promises that everyone has a forever third love, but you won't be able to find them until you have learned all the necessary lessons.
If you're in search of your twin flame, Rose says "the most important thing is to really stay rooted in who [you] are and what you actually want."
Rose actually suggests creating a "job description for your partner" to help you really understand what you are looking for and what you need in a relationship.
"Instead of worrying about whether or not the man in front of you, or that you're talking with I'm Bumble, is going to call you back," Rose suggests you stop and ask yourself "if this man was to apply for the job of partner right now, is that a position that he deserves?"
Though it might seem hard to imagine right now, there is a third and final love out there for everyone.
"Is there a healthy love, a reciprocal love, a balanced love out there once [you] learn all the hard lessons?" asks Kate. "Absolutely."
Read through these 25 Kate Rose quotes about love and following your heart.
1. "The truth is that Love is countless small moments all wrapped up in the never-ending action of choosing to show someone—over and over again—that we care." — Kate Rose
2. "There are no guarantees in life, but sometimes we cross paths with another soul and it’s not that we think it could end that terrifies but that deep down we know it never will." — Kate Rose
3. "My heart is a hologram of what you put in, you then get back; so whatever you see, whatever you feel is what has grown from the seeds you yourself have planted, and whether they are blooming, or just starting to push through the fertile ground in expectant buds, whether the garden is full and wild, or just beginning the truth is it’s exactly how it’s supposed to be." — Kate Rose
4. "So, please don’t complete me, instead ravage me, challenge me, or just simply Love me because the truth is that is the only thing I ever truly needed." — Kate Rose
5. "Love, amazing, healthy, incredible love is always possible. But the more amazing that it is, the more it's going to ask of you." — Kate Rose
6. "While we are all deserving of love, even at our worst, we will only ever be able to receive the love that we've already given ourselves." — Kate Rose
7. "Love is an act; a decision; a choice even if it feels we in fact don’t have one." — Kate Rose
8. "To think that love isn’t something that we find, but rather create is to end the search all together. There is nothing or no one to in fact look for at all, because love isn’t something that is found hiding under a mossy stone but rather the bonds of connection, memories, and passion that we create by fusing our consciousness and life with another." — Kate Rose
9. "But the truth is there are always a million reasons not to love, but none of that matters to the one reason why we should, which is what if it works out?" — Kate Rose
10. "It doesn’t matter who we are or how amazing the connection, we will still have to work at the creation of the kind of love that we want to define our union. This means we will have to make the choice to do things differently, to be vulnerable when it’s hard, to keep trying even when we’re tired, and to forgive when we get hurt." — Kate Rose
11. "Love is an action that should be demonstrated on a daily basis in whatever way it needs to be expressed in order to fulfill one another’s needs." — Kate Rose
12. "Love is the bond that we create, the support and the dreams that we weave together with another. It’s the foundation of what we build with someone and the haven that we can retreat to at the end of a stressful day." — Kate Rose
13. "To create love means that we are committed to what that love represents, not just the benefits of it. It means that we know we have to create something that can withstand the strongest of storms, and it also means we’re taking responsibility for it as well." — Kate Rose
14. "If we're aware that certain loves are really only meant to teach us certain lessons, then it kind of changes that whole idea that most of our greatest fear is a relationship ending. But if we actually go into it [thinking] that the relationship is a vehicle for self-growth, and sometimes it ending is the best thing, then that means we're ready for a new level of life and love." — Kate Rose
15. "No one ever just finds love, or wakes up one day realizing that they are in their ideal primary relationship, instead it’s a choice; to follow our hearts, to persevere, to not run away or take the easy way out, but most of all it’s making the choice to never stop creating, never stop making the love that we desire to build with the person who is committed to building with us." — Kate Rose
16. "Love anyway. And then love some more. Love until you think you can’t love anymore." — Kate Rose
17. "Love comes sweeping in when we least expect it, and not to make our lives easier or to placate our desires; it comes to help us make the journey home to ourselves." — Kate Rose
18. "The reasons your heartbreaks are the very same for why it beats." — Kate Rose
19. "When someone says no to you they’re not rejecting you but the person they’d have to grow into to be with you." — Kate Rose
20. "Only when we stop controlling where love goes are we able to see what it’s meant to become." — Kate Rose
21. "In relationships, we may not always have all the answers but being on the same side working towards the same goal makes all the difference." — Kate Rose
22. "Relationships work best when we work together. Your partner is your teammate, not your opponent." — Kate Rose
23. "Sometimes our hearts choose before our minds do. We just need a little time to catch up." — Kate Rose
24. "Love is wanting what’s best for them, not what’s best for you." — Kate Rose
25. "We can’t be loved for who we really are until we make the choice to be our true selves." — Kate Rose
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Audrey Jaber is a writer living in Boston, Massachusetts. She covers a variety of topics for YourTango, including news, entertainment and astrology.