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Come here you cheating, filthy, jerk of a husband.
By Emily Francos — Written on Jul 15, 2020
When you find out your husband has cheated on you, it can be devastating. But that doesn't decimate your love for him, and it's natural to consider getting back together.
However, there are some important questions to ask your unfaithful spouse before you decide whether or not you want to get back together or if you should just cut your losses and move on.
Sometimes you just have to take care of yourself above all else.
Once a man cheats, how do you know he will not again? If it was a spontaneous, heat of the moment thing, then it may be just a moment of weakness and it will never happen again because he is horrified of his actions. Or he may have fallen for her knowing he doesn't see a future for himself with you.
You just have to decide if you are willing to be hurt again. Because he may promise fidelity now, he may be unfaithful again.
It's hard to learn how to trust again too so you have to really establish trust again before you jump in bed with each other once again. Sometimes, you can think everything is OK when in reality things aren't. So, do yourself a great favor to not get yourself wrapped up in the lust of your intimacy so you can make an honest, clear decision about what you want to do with your relationship in response to his unfaithfulness.
Here are 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse before you decide whether or not to get back with your ex.
1. Did you think about me at all?
If the answer is "yes, but..." it means he thought about you and realized he did not care how his cheating affected you and did it anyway.
2. How did you get to the point of cheating?
There was something that made him go to the point of cheating so you have to figure out what was missing from your relationship. You have to figure this out or he will only cheat again.
3. Did you feel guilty afterward?
This question will tell you if it was a spur of the moment of weakness. You should be able to really recognize if they are full of guilt and if it's eating them alive.
4. How long did it last?
This is a real indication if you can salvage your relationship. If it was a one-time thing, then it may have just been a mistake but if it was something more that lasted for a period of time, then you are less likely to succeed in fixing your relationships.
5. Do you still have feelings for that person?
This question is had for a person to answer because they are most likely having feelings for this person. You should be more prepared to move on.
6. Did you consider how cheating would affect our relationship?
If your spouse did not really care what the consequences of his affair would be, then you may be unable to fix your relationship.
7. Did you talk about the future together?
If your partner talked with this other person about their future together, then it probably means your relationship has run it's course because he doesn't see the future with you anymore.
8. What did you tell them about us?
A respectable man will not talk badly about his wife to another woman. If he does, he doesn't deserve you at all.
9. What do they have that I don't?
You should be enough and you should never be asked to change who you are to fit your partner's wants. Never put yourself down by thinking she has something he likes more than you have. This question will only beat you up.
10. Do you want to be with this person more than me?
This is a simple yes or no that will tell you 100% whether or not you should take him back or not.
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Emily Francos is a writer who covers relationships, pop culture, and news topics.