When You Feel Attracted To Someone, Do They Feel It Too?

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When You Feel Attracted To Someone, Do They Feel It Too?

Attractiveness usually differs by culture, traditions, and what people believe to be attractive characteristics. 

Research defines interpersonal attraction as "the strength of our liking or loving for another person."

Attraction is when you look at someone from across a crowded room and lock eyes. It's when you feel like you have known each other forever. Attraction can transform into a relationship when it's really meant to be. While initial attraction may be purely physical, emotions evolve as your relationship evolves more and more. You become attracted to different aspects of that special person in your life, and that's what leads to falling in love. 

So the question is: when you feel attracted to someone, do they feel it too?

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What are the factors that influence attraction?

If attraction was always mutual, it stands to assume that you would always be attracted to the people that are attracted to you and vice versa. However, that's not always the case. There are certain factors that can predict whether or not a mutual attraction will form.

1. Readiness 

When you are looking for a relationship, physical attraction doesn't last long. So, if you are not in a good place to get emotionally involved, your relationship may not last long because you don't have enough time to get to know each other better. 

2. Isolation

Having the chance to spend some quality time one on one gives you enough time to really get to know each other. You will create a stronger emotional bond and you will feel attracted to each other on a deeper level.

3. Similarity

When you are looking for potential partners, people tend to gravitate toward those who look like them and have the same traditions, customs, and values

4. Emotional attraction

Liking someone for more than just physical appearance is a great characteristic to make attraction to someone last. You just have to care for one other more than just on a physical level and that's attractive. 

5. Desirable Characteristics

Both physical and personality characteristics are important to consider when looking for a particular partner. 

6. Filling Needs

When you are attracted to someone, you have to fulfill each other's needs to live a happy life with each other. They have to fulfill each other's needs for companionship, love, family (if you want one), and more. It's hard to stay attracted to someone when your needs are not being filled. 

7. Proximity

When you live in the same areas, you have a greater chance of running into each other and create a sense of knowing each other because you see each other more. Thus, finding attraction through familiarity. 

8. Diet

It turns out a person's diet can play an important role in attraction. A 2017 study found that women were attracted to sweaty men who ate more produce than men who ate more carbs. 

9. Hormones

When hormones are balanced, we are more attracted to people. Men specifically are historically more interested in women with a feminine appearance.

10. Smell

Interestingly, men are attracted to women with certain smells. This is because women with higher estrogen and low progesterone levels smell better and men are attracted to that smell because it indicates high fertility. 

11. Fertility

Another study found that there are certain feminine aspects that are attractive to men. Men are attracted to a woman when they are more fertile, and their faces and voices sound more attractive. 

12. Kindness

When you find that someone is kind, they immediately become more attractive and likable. 

13. Voice

Women instinctually find men with lower voices to be much more attractive, especially right before their ovulation period. Did you know that deeper voices are linked to producing healthier children

14. Maturity

Know what you want from a relationship is so much more attractive and as you mature, you pay attention to more than just physical attraction. 

15. Taste

The physical attraction of kissing makes you feel a deeper attraction to your partner. And also, when you kiss, your body releases oxytocin that makes you feel good as well.

16. Health

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Health is a very important feature because people are attracted to those who are healthy. If someone gets enough sleep, exercises, and takes care of themselves, they are more likely to be attractive to a larger group of suitors. 

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In a phone interview with Joan Childs, author of I Hate The Man I Love, explained that initial attraction is chemical. What you're feeling when you're instantly attracted to someone is lust at first sight. Chemistry is what you feel when you want a special someone to hug and kiss you.

That first jolt of attraction you feel is purely physical because we, as human beings, need a connection with another person. It's how we are made. 

Childs stressed in the interview that "human beings are wired for connections and when we disconnect we go into crisis" because "the brain needs another brain to feel regulated." 

So, as humans, we need to be with someone on a romantic level. That's where attraction comes into play.

To know a relationship is actually going to last past the attraction phase, Childs suggested that a person only knows if someone's truly into you with time. 

"Time always tells," says Childs, because waiting is the best to make sure they are into you. Waiting allows you to form some kind of friendship before jumping into bed, which she suggests waiting at least three months before doing.

For a relationship to last past that first initial wave of attraction, you have to find out what the most important things are that you need in a relationship and from a partner. When you are in the attraction stage of a relationship, you only see the best of them, but for a relationship, you have to see, and more importantly accept, their faults, too. 

You have to decide what your list of most important characteristics that you need in a partner because a relationship is so much more than that initial spark of attraction. Some of the most important qualities Childs frequently promotes as necessary in a relationship are honesty, partnership, and comparable intellectuality.

Overall, it's important for you to make known what you need from a relationship. You need more than just the first few months of attraction to make a relationship work.

Moreover, Childs wants everyone to remember that for relationships, the beginning is only chemistry based on a gut feeling of attraction, then it evolves into something more with time together. You don't want to be just attracted to for your body or a physical attraction. You want people to be attracted to you for who you are.

Therefore, for someone to have their attraction turn into something more in the long run, you have to have that initial spark of attraction. Attraction brings you together, but it does take work to evolve your attraction into something so much more. 

Instead of acting on your physical attraction, start to learn more about your partner and understand what you need to turn this attraction you have for someone into something that may last forever, just not inside the bedroom. 

And always remember, if it doesn't work out the first time, you will find love again because everyone is capable of falling in love more than once in their lifetime. 

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Emily Francos is a writer who covers astrology, pop culture, and relationship topics.