100 Funny Birthday Wishes To Send Your Friends

Photo: Getty
100 Best Funny Birthday Wishes For Friends & Family
Quotes

Birthdays are the one time of year that we can be completely selfish and nobody will have anything to say about it. We get to do whatever we want, wear whatever we want and say whatever we want without anyone telling us we are wrong for it.

We break our diets and have a slice of cake — maybe two if nobody is looking — and we even get free or discounted items from our favorite stores.

It’s almost as if we are invincible on our birthday, which is why getting funny birthday wishes from our friends and family makes the day even more special.

RELATED: 20 Creative Ways To Make Your Quarantine Birthday Special

When we are young, all we wanted for our birthday are the hottest new toys and new clothes that would turn the heads on the playground. As teens, we wanted all of the new gadgets and tickets to see our favorite artists and concerts.

Once we reach adulthood, though, we are less worried about things that are materialistic and focus more on how much love we are surrounded by. With all of the stress within our daily adult life, all we ever really want for our birthday is a hug, a break, or some words of encouragement.

Although it is nice to receive adult gifts such as new purses, new furniture, a book, or even new shoes, as adults, the birthday gift that we value and appreciate the most is a good card with a funny birthday wish inside of it.

Instead of throwing it over our shoulders and forgetting about it once we take the money and gift cards out, we begin to save them to look back on when we need a moment of joy.

Cards allow our loved ones to express how they feel about us in ways that we can keep forever. Words go in one ear and out the other, but writing can last beyond a lifetime.

A lot of birthday cards are sappy and overly-emotional. You know, the ones that say something like, “Happy birthday. You have graced this planet for 23 years and every day you have made a difference. The world would not be the same without you.” Some cards even sing beautiful, sentimental songs.

RELATED: 30 Totally Relatable Memes To Help You Celebrate (Or Mourn) Your 30th Birthday

One year, I bought my mom a card that sang “Simply the Best” by Tina Turner. Despite the fact that the card is faded and the song is so distorted that it sounds like a robot is singing it, she still has it and still remembers exactly when I gave it to her. Now that i have grown up, I realize that she keeps that card because it always serves as a reminder of the way I felt about her when I was eight years old.

Some cards are blank and give the person who purchased it the ability to do whatever they want and some are made by hand with a piece of paper, markers and a well-thought-out idea.

Sappy cards, singing cards, and hand made cards are nice, but the cards that really hit a soft spot are the ones with funny birthday wishes that make us laugh so hard that we start crying.

RELATED: 120 Happy Birthday Wishes For Friends And Best Friends

The cards that include an inside joke or a funny pun are the cards that we laugh about and reminisce about years down the line. So if you need some ideas for funny things to say in a birthday card, we've got your back. Try one of these to wish someone a happy birthday in a funny, lighthearted way.

  1. Another year older and wiser… or just older in your case. Happy Birthday!
  2. Never forget that age is simply a number — but a very big one in your case. Yikes. Happy birthday anyway.
  3. You are the smartest man I know with a taste for the finer things in life. I know this because you chose me as your wife. Happy Birthday, handsome.
  4. Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one. Happy birthday, anyway!
  5. I’m not saying you’re old, but your birth certificate is on papyrus. Happy birthday, old geezer!
  6. Happy birthday to the sister who has the best sister in the world.
  7. Birthdays are good for you. Studies show that people who have more birthdays live longer! So here's to wishing you many happy birthdays.
  8. I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date. Happy belated birthday!
  9. If things really do get better with age, then you’re approaching perfection. Happy birthday, perfect!
  10. A lighter? We’re going to need a flame-thrower to light up your candles. Happy birthday!
  11. Having you around always made me feel like we will be forever young, yet, you ended up breaking that rule. Happy birthday — you're getting old!
  12. They say that at your age, birthday cocktails should be replaced with nutritional smoothies. Thank goodness we never listen to what they say. Wishing you a happy birthday, no matter how old you're getting.
  13. Count your blessings, not your wrinkles. Happy birthday!
  14. Friends may come and go, but birthdays accumulate. Here's to another happy birthday!
  15. Actually, I wanted to get you something super great, super terrific, unique, and beautiful for your birthday, but I don’t fit in the envelope. Happy birthday!
  16. It’s about time one of us turned 21! Drinks are on you, then. You're finally legal (enough to get me a drink). Happy birthday!
  17. I always limit my budget on buying birthday gifts according to what that person gave me as a gift on my birthday. Enjoy your gift of nothing. Sending happy birthday wishes your way!
  18. Happy birthday! Can you believe we used to think people our age were adults and had their life in order?
  19. You’re a really hard individual to shop for… so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday!
  20. Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny, and reminds me a lot of myself… from one fabulous chick to another.
  21. Happy birthday! May your Facebook wall be filled with messages from people you never talk to.
  22. Don’t let age get you down… it’s too hard to get back up. Happy birthday, and don't hurt yourself.
  23. Another year closer to getting those senior citizen seats on buses! Happy birthday.
  24. From one amazing person to another — Happy Birthday! You are so incredibly lucky to have such an awesome friend like me, obviously.
  25. Happy Birthday to someone who is comparable to fine wine and aged cheese. You get better with age, my dearest!
  26. I didn’t even have to be reminded by Facebook that it was your big day today! Impressed?! Happy Birthday to the person I remember right on time each year!
  27. Brother, I figured today would be as good a day as any to tell you that you were adopted! Just kidding. Happy Birthday — or is it?
  28. Happy Birthday! Just to let you know, the tablecloth is flame resistant — I have the fire department on stand-by and there is a fire extinguisher under the table in case you screw up (again).
  29. Happy Birthday! You don’t look a day over… whatever age you were at your last birthday!
  30. Let’s be honest — you don’t really care what I write on this card. You probably won’t even read it. All you care about is the gift inside! And that’s why I love you, happy birthday!
  31. I bet if you knew at 18 years old what you know now, you’d have still done the same stupid things that you did. Here’s to staying young. Happy Birthday!
  32. Finally, you’re 21 and legally able to do everything you’ve been doing since you were 14 years old. Happy (legal) birthday!
  33. The secret to a great birthday is not remembering what happened that day. Just don’t wake up in jail.
  34. The funny thing about you is that your age, but your maturity levels always stay the same! Oh well, and happy birthday!
  35. You asked for it. Here is nothing. Happy birthday. Hope you like it.
  36. Happy Birthday, you’re closer to seeing another century pass.
  37. We thought we would get the right amount of candles to put on your cake this year but quickly ran out of space. Happy Birthday!
  38. When I thought about the year in which you were born, I almost fainted! You don’t look a day over a hundred! Happy birthday.
  39. Before there were maps, people used the stars to guide them. You would know! Happy birthday.
  40. Today, friend, count your blessings, not your years. You don’t have that kind of time! Sending you birthday wishes for your special day!
  41. Happy Birthday, friend! Age is not a big deal… to me! I’m still young! Sucks for you.
  42. Cheers to a woman who has been thirty... fifty times!
  43. Looking at you fills me with hope! A woman can live to be a hundred! Happy birthday!
  44. Cheers to a woman who has dyed her hair so many times, she doesn’t remember what its original color is! Cheers to your birthday!
  45. Cheers to a woman who stays young — only because she lies about her age. Best birthday wishes!
  46. Today, you have really achieved something! How does it feel to be the oldest man alive? WOW. Happy birthday, old man.
  47. Man, you are like a tree in the woods! Old and still managing to stay grounded! I'm impressed. Happy birthday.
  48. On this day, some people will tell you that you are still a young lady. Those people are liars! Happy birthday, anyway.
  49. Happy birthday, Dad. I simply can’t believe that it has been only 30 years since you were 18! May you look this young forever.
  50. I didn’t forget your birthday wishes — you’re just old and confused. Happy (totally not belated) birthday!
  51. Happy birthday to the son who has the best mother in the world!
  52. You’re still hot after all of these years… just not as hot as your birthday cake will be once we light all those candles. Happy birthday!
  53. Another birthday? You’re going to need a bigger cake… or smaller candles.
  54. Hope you have a wild time tonight. Just keep in mind that, “It was my birthday” is not a legal defense.
  55. Happy birthday to my best friend! I’m so glad you were born something-something years ago.
  56. I have prepared your birthday cake and called the fire department to blow out the candles.
  57. People often compare birthdays with boogers. With the increase of its number, people find breathing harder. Happy birthday!
  58. I didn’t buy you a cake because I know you’ll love this bottle of champagne more. Happy birthday!
  59. Grow any older and become toothless soon. Happy birthday!
  60. As you are getting older, you are becoming wiser. You know no wise man ever wishes to be young again.
  61. You always enjoy your birthday in some amazing ways, that’s why you should have one every year.
  62. You get older every year, but I don’t want to remember that. Just enjoy and don’t eat my portion of the cake.
  63. Shopping anything for your special day is always hard, so let's do it together today. Happy birthday — it's on me!
  64. Every time I ask you your true age, you smile and skip that topic. I won’t give you a chance to escape today. Tell me your age and I'll wish you a happy birthday then!
  65. Knowing someone as fabulous as me should be the only present you need. Happy birthday!
  66. You don’t have birthdays — you level up! Happy level up day to my best friend.
  67. Wishing a happy birthday to my best friend. May we grow up to be the hottest cougars around!
  68. Count your blessings, not your wrinkles. Happy birthday, friend!
  69. Just imagine all of the things you would want to hear on your birthday and imagine that I said them.
  70. That’s your birthday cake? I thought it was a bonfire! Happy birthday.
  71. How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?
  72. You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. Happy birthday!
  73. Whoever decided to celebrate birthdays must have been young. Happy birthday!
  74. If it’s your birthday, then you better dress for the occasion. Wear your birthday suit. Just kidding, your suit is probably too wrinkled.
  75. Pretty soon you’ll be able to use the bathroom in your diaper again. That was a good life. Happy birthday!
  76. Don’t be tempted to reflect on your whole life each birthday. At your age, that would take a long time. Happy birthday!
  77. Have the best birthday anyone could expect to have at your age.
  78. Enjoy your senior citizen discounts. You deserve them. Happy birthday!
  79. Hmmm… didn’t we celebrate this just a year ago? Happy birthday.
  80. Okay, happy birthday. Now get back to work!
  81. This is the perfect day to thank me for remembering your birthday.
  82. Today is a great excuse for you to make bad decisions. Happy birthday!
  83. Happy birthday! Well, at least you’re not as old as you will be next year.
  84. You should feel like a newborn baby. Wishing you a happy birthday!
  85. Congratulations on the new wrinkle on your face. Happy birthday!
  86. Happy womb eviction day!
  87. Smile while you still have teeth. Happy birthday!
  88. Remember — age gets better with wine. Happy birthday!
  89. Wishing you many more candles and a cake big enough to fit them all on.
  90. For some reason, whenever I go birthday shopping for you I always seem to find a lot more gifts for myself. Your birthdays are expensive, but you are worth it.
  91. Happy birthday! Welcome to the age where you often forget your age.
  92. It’s nice to be young, healthy, and full of energy! Do you remember what that used to feel like?
  93. To the nation's best-kept secret — your age. Happy birthday!
  94. Happy birthday! You’re not old — you’re 25 plus shipping and handling.
  95. If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them. Happy birthday!
  96. At your age, you should really try to see everything as large as life… starting with LARGE print. Happy birthday!
  97. Happy birthday! You’ve finally reached the age of wisdom, but nobody wants to listen to you.
  98. On your birthday, most people tell you, “you never seem to age.” Well, I’m not one of them. Happy birthday, oldie.
  99. Happy birthday. Time may heal all wounds, but it leaves you with saggy skin and crow’s feet.
  100. Happy birthday! You still have the face of an angel. You don’t look a day older than when you first bought it.

RELATED: 40 Adult Birthday Party Ideas (That Put Kids' Birthday Parties To Shame)

Subscribe to YourTango's newsletter to keep up with us for FREE

- Our best articles delivered straight to your inbox
- The latest in entertainment and news
- Daily horoscopes and love advice

Born on April Fools Day, Sarah Jones-Smith is no stranger to silly birthday messages. She loves giving and receiving meaningful birthday cards with hilarious punchlines and stories. Sarah also enjoys writing about zodiacs, relationships and the daily lives of women.