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Sliding into your DMs isn't always a bad thing.
By Sarah Jones-Smith — Written on May 16, 2020
You know that one guy who occasionally DMs you to ask how you are doing? It’s obvious that he is interested in you, but you just aren’t sure if you want to pursue anything with him.
He's got all the signs of a good man — he’s sweet, compliments you, respects you, and sends you enough messages to keep you comfortable talking to him, but not enough to make him seem clingy.
Despite your uncertainty, you can’t help but smile when he checks on you and slightly wonder where he went on the days that he doesn’t.
Have you ever thought that it may be time to release him from the DMs and allow him into your text messages? Maybe you two can have a few Facetime calls. Meeting up for lunch may not be too bad either.
What I’m trying to say is, he might be the one.
My current boyfriend was once that guy. He messaged me often enough to show his interest and stepped away for long enough to peak mine. I was unsure if I ever wanted to pursue a romantic relationship with him, but he was one of the only guys whose DM did not get left on read.
I finally decided to text him, we Facetimed and I finally decided to hang out with him in person. The first few times, I brought friends along to ensure that everything was safe. I not only noticed that he was exactly the way that he was over text messages and facetime — he was better. After hanging out with him with friends, I decided I was comfortable enough to hang out with him alone. Now, here we are.
Twitter is flooded with successful social media love stories, all of which came into fruition by both people taking a chance and getting to know one another a little better. So how do you know if the guy in your DMs is worth a chance? Nobody can ever be too sure, but here are 10 signs of a good man on social media that you should take your relationship with him to the next level (or at least give him a chance).
1. He is direct about how he feels about you (in a respectful manner).
He lets you know that he thinks you are beautiful and that he is interested in being more than social media buddies, but he doesn’t do it in a creepy way.
2. He doesn’t only message you late at night.
Late-night messages are typically a red flag. No guy that is genuinely interested in you as a person is only going to message you in the midnight hour. Receiving messages from him when the sun is still high in the sky indicates that he thinks of you more often than when he is just bored and looking for nighttime entertainment. He wants to know how your day is going, what you are doing, and if you can put aside a minute of your time for him.
3. He suggests hanging out but does not push too hard when you decline.
He proposes that you guys hang out, but when you decline his offer, he does not get angry or stop talking to you. He understands that you may not be comfortable enough or you just do not want to and it doesn’t put a damper on your friendship.
4. Getting a message from him makes your day a little brighter.
When you get the notification that you have a new DM and his username is attached to it, you can’t help but smile. You know that your conversation with him is going to make you laugh or you’ll have the opportunity to tell him about the most frustrating part of your day.
5. He is genuinely interested in what you two talk about.
He has a great response time, he asks questions and pays attention to your answers, and he even asks about topics that you told him about days later. If you tell him you lost your watch on Monday and he sends you a message saying, “Hey, did you ever find your watch?” on Thursday, that might be a sign of a winner.
6. He reveals enough about himself for you to be comfortable but keeps you wanting to know more.
You know a lot about what he loves and what gets under his skin, but he saves some for the moment he will finally get the opportunity to spend time with you in person. He doesn’t want to give too much away and end up in your DMs forever. He wants you to see the personality that he has to offer in person.
7. He’s not afraid to disagree with you.
Although it’s nice to have a lot in common with someone, it eventually gets boring if you guys agree on everything. Maybe he likes an artist that you think is awful or you love spinach and he hates it. Either way, small debates add fire and chemistry to any relationship.
8. He is not overly friendly with other girls on your timeline.
Nobody likes a guy who seemingly wants attention from every girl they come in contact with. Seeing him constantly interact with other girls all of the time can make you feel less special and completely ruin any interest you possibly had in him.
9. He sends more than one-word messages.
When a guy sends one-word responses, it leaves us wondering how we are supposed to respond. The conversation starts to feel forced rather than free-flowing. No guy who is interested in you will do this because he knows that it makes you question whether he wants to talk to you or not.
10. He respects that you are busy… not that he has any other choice.
We never want to applaud a fish for swimming, but it is always refreshing to know that a guy can handle it when you are busy. If you don’t get back to him for a few hours, he doesn’t blow your phone up with multiple messages, he doesn’t question what you were doing, and he isn’t ever upset about it. He understands that you are busy and won’t always have time to respond right away.
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Sarah Jones-Smith is a writer and college student, covering relationship topics, pop culture, gym routines and the daily lives of women.