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These behaviors only end up harming you the most.
By Unwritten — Written on Aug 20, 2021
Some behaviors do more harm than good.
Everyone has insecurities, but it’s up to you to decide how you handle them.
Here are six behaviors that you need to break right now in order to live a happier life:
1. Anger issues
Yelling, name-calling, and slashing tires are not ok.
You should identify and manage this behavior as soon as possible.
It’s ok to feel angry sometimes, but it’s not ok to let your anger get the best of you.
Don’t act out in anger, even if you think that your reaction is justified.
As soon as you act out in anger, you become the problem.
Take a moment to breathe and think about how you want to respond.
If someone is aggravating you, try to remain calm and have an open conversation with them instead.
If someone is becoming overly aggressive towards you, walk away.
You don’t need to expose yourself to that type of dangerous behavior.
2. Passive-aggressive communication
Attacking someone online from the comfort of your screen, leaving angry notes on the fridge, indirectly blaming someone for something, or giving someone the “silent treatment” are all forms of passive communication that you should avoid.
Passive aggression is never justified and there are far better ways to communicate.
Stop avoiding face-to-face discussions, stop running away, and start having open, honest conversations to resolve your issues.
Confrontation isn’t a bad thing, but avoiding confrontation definitely is, so get talking.
3. Comparison
Accusing others of being more privileged than you, saying that your life is unfair, or trying to one-up anyone around you is an unhealthy comparison.
If you constantly compare yourself to others, you will surely become miserable.
Everyone has different struggles and joys in life, but you shouldn’t compare yours to others.
Your success or failure is about you, not anybody else, so stop asking other people for praise or pity.
The only person you should compete with is yourself.
Try to focus on personal growth and improve yourself as a person instead.
Everyone has a different journey and everybody needs to follow their own path.
4. Hating people
Unreasonable resentment towards others, thinking overly negatively about someone, and feelings of intense loathing are behaviors that need to go.
Hatred can rise out of jealousy, differing opinions, or hurt feelings.
Not only is hatred a complete waste of your time and energy, but it’s also completely unnecessary.
It’s ok not to like a person, but you have nothing to gain by hating them.
In fact, if you dislike them so much, then stop giving them your attention, your time, and your energy.
If you genuinely don’t like a person, become indifferent towards them, instead of openly hating them, and free yourself of any negative feelings.
5. Pettiness
Laughing at someone’s misfortune, wanting revenge, celebrating mean behavior, trivial arguments, or gossiping will only hurt you.
You may joke about being petty, but the joke’s on you.
These classic “mean girl” behaviors are not something to be proud of.
Pettiness is a defense mechanism for your own insecurities.
It’s negative and counterproductive.
Stop focusing so much on other people and take a look at your actions.
After all, it isn’t cool to be unapologetically petty.
6. Making excuses
Excusing your behavior by saying that it’s “just the way you are,” defending your poor actions, or justifying yourself when you are called out is not the way to live your life.
Don’t make excuses for your behavior.
You are in control of your behavior, so you can change it.
Your actions don’t have to determine your personality and having a ‘take it or leave it’ attitude won’t get you very far.
You won’t earn respect from others if you don’t treat them with respect.
Making excuses for your poor behavior is extremely disrespectful.
Instead, you need to take responsibility for your actions and change your behavior accordingly.
These behavior patterns can be very hurtful to others, but they can also harm you.
Identifying and managing these self-destructive behaviors is the key to living a happier, more productive life.
Why wouldn’t you want to be the best version of yourself?
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Jess Notting is an environmental scientist and writer who focuses on self-care, self-love, and health and wellness. She has been featured in Unwritten, The Mighty, Yahoo, and more. Follow her blog.
This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.