Quotes, Self

15 Funny Quotes About College To Help You Get Through The Next Semester

15 Funny Quotes About College To Help You Get Through The Next Semester

The time of the year has come once again for college students to go back to their dorms and/or apartments and begin yet another year. Then of course, there are those of you that are just starting your higher education, in which case I’m sure you have a bunch of different feelings going on inside you.

Whether you’re new or not, some of you may feel nervous or excited, happy to be leaving home or missing your family as soon as you get there. Believe when I say I know how you feel. I probably experienced every emotion you can while I was in college. It can be really fun and at other times really hard.

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As you kick off another year of college life, I want you to remember a few things. Firstly, make the most of everything. Join clubs, try new things and be adventurous. Don’t let opportunities slip by while you lay on your bed staring at your phone. If you see something you think you might want to do, do it! This kind of advice really works for just life in general, but nowhere else will you find the abundance of opportunities that a college or university can provide, so take advantage of it!

Secondly, remember it’s okay to have fun. Contrary to the belief of a few of my friends, you don’t have study for hours and hours on end. In fact, studies have shown that studying for too long can actually be bad for your health. So don’t keep yourself locked up in the library until 3 a.m. and take breaks when you think you need to!

My last piece of advice is to remember that this is only a part of your life. When things are good, enjoy it, but when it’s not so good, remember what you’re working toward and how it’ll pay off in the long run. I know it can be tough, but reminding yourself of the future you’re going to give yourself can provide a surprising amount of motivation.

The year can be long, and sometimes you just need a good laugh. So keep my advice in mind and read these others’ thoughts and funny quotes about college life to get you through the next semester in one piece.

1. It’s a vicious cycle.

“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income -- which he then spends sending his son to college.” –Bill Vaughn

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2. It really does kinda feel like that when you’re a senior.

“A senior always feels like the university is going to the kids.” –Tom Masson

3. You’re already a fool.

“Colleges don't make fools, they only develop them.” –George Lorimer

4. What’s a professor?

“Definition of a college professor: someone who talks in other people's sleep.” –W.H. Auden

5. The purpose of those boring speeches.

“Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.” –G.B. Trudeau

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6. Maybe not recommended, but hey, it’s your life.

“College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?” –David Wood

7. It can seem deadly.

“Colleges are like old age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.” –Bob Dylan

8. #Truth.

“80 percent of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn’t read.” –Unknown

9. You probably just need sleep.

“Then you play the game show, Do My Friends Hate Me Or Do I Just Need To Go To Sleep?” –John Mulaney

10. There’s no real love.

“College is a $120,000 hooker, and you’re the idiot that fell in love with her.” –John Mulaney

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11. I kinda feel like I should’ve studied law now...

“I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.” –Fred Allen

12. Major in thinking.

"I'm a philosophy major. That means I can think deep thoughts about being unemployed." –Bruce Lee

13. Try to answer the phone.

"A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone." –Craig Kilborn

14. Don’t die.

“College is fun as long as you don't die.” –Tsugumi Ohba

15. They all did, so you can too!

‘Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.” –John Green

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Jesse Oakley is a writer who writes about love, relationships, self-care and spirituality/astrology.