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Each argument is about this one thing...
By Emily Ratay — Written on May 03, 2019
Have you ever noticed that you and your partner constantly fight about the same situation over and over again?
Being in a relationship is full of ups and downs. It doesn't matter how long you've been with someone – you will always have to deal with the good days and the bad days.
I mean, love is hard work. Even in relationships that aren't romantic, like the relationships you have with your friends and family, can be a lot of work.
And you always have to be willing to work through fights and not seeing eye to eye if you want to make things work. When you're in the honeymoon phase in your relationship, every "fight" and miscommunication seem like no big deal. Hey, you're in love! There's nothing you can't handle together.
After that honeymoon phase is over, however, that is when things start getting real. You're not wearing your rose-colored glasses anymore, and you realize that there are things that actually need to be worked out instead of glossed over. Just because you're in love with someone doesn't mean you can't get frustrated with that person.
Some arguments and disagreements are easy to clear up. Usually, it's just a case of miscommunication or not understanding both sides of the story. Once you talk with your partner, everything goes back to being great again. Then, of course, there are the fights that never really seem to get resolved.
Every so often, you find that the same things keep getting brought up in new fights or disagreements. And even though you might not always think about this unresolved topic, when it comes up time and time again, you realize that it never actually got resolved. It just kind of floated out into the void until one of you brought it up again.
These kinds of fights are dangerous because, if you never truly resolve them, they can whittle away at a relationship for a very long time.
So, what happens when you keep having the same fight over and over? Are you just doomed to repeat history until one of you realizes that there's no real compatibility left?
While zodiac compatibility might have a little to do with it – some relationships are doomed to get on each other's nerves no matter what – it's not the only reason why you can't resolve your disagreements with each other. The main reason is because you and your partner haven't taken the time to learn the communication skills necessary to resolve the fight you keep having over and over.
Instead, you tend to go on autopilot whenever one of you is upset, which does nothing more than tell your partner that you'd rather not deal with them right now. Instead, you need to remember that you're both on the same team. Being in a relationship isn't about being against each other whenever you fight.
You should be fighting together for your relationship, not against each other to "win" the argument. Learning how to deescalate the argument and looking for solutions for the good of the relationship is more important than being able to say that you were right, and your partner was wrong.
Like I said, you can be in love with someone and still never quite see eye to eye with them. And when it comes to these particular couples, there's always going to be the same thing that never seems to get resolved.
ARIES (March 21 - April 19) + TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
The fight between Aries and Taurus is always the classic “putting down roots versus exploring freedom” fight. While both of these zodiac signs see the value in being in a stable relationship, Taurus is the one who is always pushing Aries to settle down and start getting serious about the future.
Aries, on the other hand, doesn’t want to feel tied to one place (or person, ahem), and will look for ways to advocate for living life while they can and exploring the world. When you get a stubborn ram and a stubborn bull in the same room, it can make for a lot of tension. Aries is the spontaneous leader and Taurus is the practical traditionalist.
They may eventually agree on the same things, but not without a fight to defend their sides first. These two people are operating at different speeds in life, which is the fuel that keeps the fighting prominent between them.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20) + SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
Gemini and Scorpio always seem to be fighting about compromise… without ever taking the time to actually compromise with each other. Neither one wants to give up things that are valuable to them, and neither of them take the time to learn the difference between compromising and giving up, either.
The temperaments of these individuals are impossibly different and is often the reason there’s always some kind of fight going on between them. Gemini is a mutable air sign, which means that there’s a whole lot of moving, growing, adjusting, and adapting going on. Think of Gemini like a butterfly - there’s always some kind of transformative state going on.
Scorpio, however, is a fixed water sign. This personality type prefers stability to changes and emotional support to moving on without talking about feelings. Because both zodiac signs have their own idea of what a relationship consists of, there’s always a clash when compromise is brought up… again.
CANCER (June 21 - July 22) + LEO (July 23 - August 22)
Right away, you can tell that Cancer and Leo are complete opposites. Leo is ruled by the sun and Cancer is ruled by the moon, which means this pair are quite literally as opposite as night and day. Leo prefers to take to the spotlight, while Cancer prefers to be behind the scenes to get things done.
The constant fight Cancer and Leo tend to have is about what is needs from the other. Both have the opportunity to make a relationship work and, more importantly, last, but neither of them can seem to see eye-to-eye with the other. Leo needs Cancer to be the partner in crime, or other half of the power couple, to feel inspired and loved.
Cancer needs Leo to bring a sense of security and comfort to the relationship that’s a lot less chaotic than the outside world. Sometimes, expressing these needs is all it takes to stop a fight in its tracks, but with these two, that’s not always easy to do.
VIRGO (August 23 - September 22) + LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
The fight Virgo and Libra have over and over is the one about communication. You think a zodiac sign who has no problem telling it like it is (Virgo) and a zodiac sign who is great at talking to people in general (Libra) would be master communicators, but life just ain’t that easy, is it?
As an earth sign, Virgo prefers things to stay the same. Stability plays such a big role in Virgo’s life that anyone who even hints at an open relationship or keeping it casual can get the boot. As for Libra, an air sign, taking a relationship day-by-day seems to work best for this zodiac sign. Little commitment, no string attached - it sounds like a dream.
The only problem is that while they are both big talkers, they aren’t so great at following through. They tend to have the same conversation over and over, and when things never actually change, they fight. You can’t expect to live harmoniously as two incredibly different people if you don’t take the time to address the hard stuff.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21) + CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
Some say that opposites attract, but when it comes to Sagittarius and Capricorn, I think the saying goes “opposites fight… a lot.” Mainly about their differences. Huh, go figure. Sagittarius is the adventurous, temperamental fire sign, and Capricorn is the grounded, practical earth sign, which comes with a lot of “you just don’t get me” kind of fights.
Sagittarius wants to be free and have unlimited independence, but Capricorn is the one who is there to lay down the law and remind Sagittarius of the rules. Or, at least, the rules they’ve created in their relationship. Capricorn needs consistency in this relationship as much as Sagittarius needs freedom.
There’s a lot of opportunity for these two zodiac signs to play to each other’s strengths, but they simply can’t get passed the fact that they have so many personality differences. Fights can range from Sagittarius pushing back when feeling trapped by Capricorn, to Capricorn questioning why Sagittarius simply can’t seem to take anything that’s important to Capricorn seriously. What. A. Mess.
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18) + PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
Aquarius and Pisces might actually be the only couple that still has a chance to make things work even after having a huge fight. For some couples, having their signs right next to each other can make for a lot of misunderstanding, but for two open-minded and caring zodiac signs such as Aquarius and Pisces, that isn’t the case.
What these two signs do fight about, however, is emotions versus feelings. Pisces needs to be with someone who is as emotionally available as Pisces is… or, at least, as open to hearing about the emotions Pisces is feeling on a daily basis. Aquarius can seem pretty emotionally stunted to Pisces, which can cause a lot of problems between the two of them.
While Aquarius does actually have feelings, contrary to popular belief, having a heart-to-heart about feelings isn’t in their wheelhouse. These signs fight because of this disconnect and their need to stay true to themselves.
Emily Ratay is a full-time writer living in Pittsburgh. She's passionate about the environment and feminism, and knows that anything is possible in the right pair of shoes. She plans on writing a non-fiction book in the future.