facebook

6 Signs You Need To Take A Break From Love

Photo: getty
6 Signs You Need To Take A Break From Love
Love, Self

Vacations change our perspective, but most of us are afraid to take them.

By Tamara Star

Psychologists agree: taking a break from life’s routine is as important as a good night’s sleep. Having time to reflect and reevaluate allows us to return to life refreshed and filled with a new perspective.

Taking a "LoveCation" also delivers a fresh new perspective. Having a partner in your life can be wonderful, but taking a little break from dating and relationships in a while is good for everyone.

RELATED: What Happened When I Tried Dating The Old School Way — With No Dating Apps

Here are 6 signs you’re due for one yourself:

1. You’ve recently gone through a breakup and feel lonely.

Jumping back on that horse might seem like the perfect antidote to sadness, but you’ll be taking a ride down the long and wrong road if you do it.

When you can’t be with the one you love honey, love the one you’re with is quite possibly the worst advice anyone who’s feeling sad and lonely could take. Not only is it unfair emotionally to the person in front of — or underneath — you, it’s brain scrambling. There’s nothing lonelier than waking up next to Mr. or Mrs. Right Now versus the one you really wish were there.

Take a break, cool your jets, and let yourself really feel what you’re feeling. When you set time aside to really feel your emotions, they move on through. Take the time to unwind and carve some space to feel your sadness.

2. You’re out of touch with the lives of your closest friends.

Face it, if you can’t remember the last conversation you had with your bestie, you are out of touch and it’s time to put down the love candy. Everyone gets busy and distracted, but if you have no idea what’s been happening with your closest friends, it’s time to come up for some air.

Relationships end, partners die, and life is stressful. Having good friends who have your back no matter what, is more valuable than any currency. We all know what it’s like to dive head first in love and disappear for a while, but if you’ve lost touch with your besties, it’s time to reconnect.

3. You’re starting to analyze there every word, action, and motive.

If the way they breathe is starting to irritate you, it’s time to give it a rest and let yourself have the space to remember why you loved them in the first place.

Once upon a time, you found their quirks charming, habits intriguing, and motives pure. If you’ve been taking things personally lately and questioning everything, it’s a sign that you don’t have enough me time and you’re due for a day or weekend solo. If you love them, do it for both of you.

RELATED: 7 Things That Happen When You Start Dating An Older Man

4. You’ve had too much of a good thing.

All work and no play make Jane and Joe dull people. So does 7 days a week, 4 weeks a month and 12 months a year without a little space.

Women are natural caregivers, men are natural caretakers. Right or wrong, most of us put the ones we love first and tend to happily accommodate the people we care about (when we’re well rested and balanced). No problem right? 

Wrong.

When was the last time you felt fully well-rested and balanced? If we’re not careful, we over give, and when we over give on an empty tank, it’s not pretty. Taking a mini LoveCation does wonders.

5. You don’t know what you want anymore.

Whether it’s what you want for dinner or whether to stay or go, a sign of too much us time is not knowing what you want anymore.

Spending time solo gives your nervous system the space it needs to unwind. It also makes the brain more productive. When your brain is functioning at high performance, decisions are easier.

We are far more than our relationships. Our thoughts, opinions, and preferences change over time, and when we’ve been in a relationship for a while, we lose ourselves. Taking a LoveCation puts us back in touch with the me who was there before the we. 

6. You’re going through a major life change.

Distractions are lovely, just ask me on a Monday night when I’m in bed after a hard day, binge-watching Netflix — yet when there’s a major life decision or change looming, distractions aren’t the healthiest option.

Whether you’re committed or solo,  good love is a wonderful distraction. What isn’t so wonderful is trying to make a change without all brain cells on board and firing. Close proximity to you-know-who produces Oxytocin. This is the love hormone and gamechanger responsible for shutting down analytical thinking, while instead facilitating the urge to merge.

Merging is wonderful, but not when you’re making a major life decision.

And your takeaway?

Vacations are short snippets of time that reset and rejuvenate us so we return balanced and ready for life again.  A well-timed LoveCation does the same.

In the words of Seth Godin: “If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try.”

RELATED: Is It OK To Date While Separated From Your Spouse?

Tamara Star is an international best selling author, life coach, and the creator of the original “40-day Personal reboot program for women.” For more information, follow her on Facebook

This article was originally published at Good Men Project. Reprinted with permission from the author.