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Here's how to keep him invested in your relationship.
By Emily Ratay — Written on Sep 29, 2018
Falling in love is the easy part, the hard part is learning how to keep what you have going once you've made a commitment to each other. Keeping your man on his toes is an important part of a thriving relationship.
You know that comfortable routine that couples get into when you've stopped trying to impress each other? Yeah, that can turn sour fast if you stop trying completely.
When you first meet someone that you want to get to know better, you tend to work extra hard to impress him or her. That usually means dressing to the nines, making sure your Instagram shows just how much fun your life is, and basically showing him what a catch you are.
He's doing the same during this time, too, by trying to woo you and show you what a catch he is. Once you play this cat-and-mouse game for a while, you can finally tell each other how you feel and start dating.
But even after the chase, during this honeymoon phase where everything is amazing, you're still impressed by each other. It's only after the honeymoon phase ends and you get into the comfortable routine of being around each other all the time that the spark can start to fade in your relationship.
I'm not saying this will absolutely happen, but this would definitely be the time for it to happen at all. No one wants to be in a boring relationship with no spark, right? Of course, not! So, it's important for both of you to stay committed to the relationship and continue to try for the other person.
Keeping him on his toes usually requires you to be on your toes, too. You both need to be alert and ready for anything in the relationship, otherwise, you'll end up resenting each other.
The worst heartbreaks are when couples say that their relationship just sort of fizzled out because both people stopped trying. But it definitely doesn't have to be that way. Just like if one of you isn't as alert and committed anymore, it doesn't mean that the relationship is doomed to fail.
It just means that you need to find that spark again.
Some people want to keep their man on his toes by threatening to leave if they don't shape up. Others want to turn into someone controlling and overbearing, just to get their point across. That isn't how it's going to go here.
If you want to keep your relationship alive, you have to do things with love. If it feels like every move you make is to punish the other person, then you probably shouldn't be with them. You want to keep the honeymoon feeling alive and the love going, so acting the way you want to be treated is the way to go.
No matter what your zodiac sign is, you can keep your man on his toes by employing loving techniques.
That way, even when things get stressful, your go-to method for fixing your problems together will be based on love and teamwork.
Using astrology, here is how to use what you know about his horoscope personality traits in order to keep the love going and have him on his toes, based on his zodiac sign.
ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
Let Aries chase you for once. You probably did most of the flirting and chasing at the beginning of the relationship (or maybe he did), but now that he's used to your routine, no one's doing anything. Honestly, it's kind of boring. He knows it, you know it, but no one will say anything.
Just because you're together and there's no real reason to impress the other person doesn't mean he shouldn't keep working to make you feel wanted. If you want to keep him on his toes, show him that he can't just get what he wants from you without a little effort.
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
Taurus is one of those men who need to see you actively trying in your relationship for him to want to try, too. He's not the kind of person to put all his effort into a relationship that you don't seem to be into. If you want to keep him on his toes, you need to start working harder.
Start putting your relationship first and he'll follow suit. Tell your friends that you can't hang out because you have plans, postpone family dinner, and can leave work early one night for date night. Stop putting him on the back burner and it'll light a fire under his butt to work harder.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
One thing Gemini loves about your relationship is that everything seems to come so easily. You know how to read each other's minds, you know when you need alone time and when snuggling on the couch sounds amazing – it all works! That's why he fell for you in the first place.
Keeping him on his toes means going back to this dynamic that works so well. Stop trying so hard around him! You're already together, so stop making him work so hard to understand you. If something is bothering you, talk it out. Don't let him feel like this relationship is a mystery.
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
Isn't it so easy to brush problems under the rug in a relationship because you feel like things will eventually work out? I mean, if you're already together, there's no worry that things will take a turn for the worse, right? Wrong! You should always be making an effort in your relationship.
If you want to keep Cancer on his toes, you both need to make an effort. More specifically, you need constant communication. Even if you're not talking about anything in particular, you're still talking. When you stop addressing issues or opening up, you let negativity in and love fails.
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
When you're with Leo, you have to know that life is going to get in the way at times – it's inevitable! Life is unpredictable and messy and demands to be front and center, no matter what it does to your relationship. But rushing your life and love can be disastrous if you don't address it.
Keeping him on his toes means deliberately slowing down and being more intentional. Don't let him leave for work with just a peck on your forehead – make him really kiss you! Cancel your plans for one night and cook together or just spend quality time talking and slow. it. down.
VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
Virgo wants to be with someone he knows he'll never have to babysit. Sure, he loves taking care of you, but if he constantly feels like he has to check in on you to make sure that you're okay, he's going to get sick of the relationship and stop trying as hard.
The best way you can show him that the relationship means the world to you and that you've got this is to be affectionate and proactive. Your actions speak louder than words with Virgo. When you try, he tries. Seeing you make strides for the relationship will definitely keep him on his toes.
LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
One thing Libra absolutely doesn't want to happen in his relationship is a fizzle in the spark that brought you two together in the first place. If the romance between you is dead, it means working that much harder to save the relationship.
Keep him on his toes (and remind him there's always still romance) by planning surprises and really trying to be romantic. He hates when relationships get boring and stuck in their routine, so sign up for a couple's ... anything! Couple's massage, couple's cooking class, whatever!
SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
Scorpio doesn't need and flair or for you to not act like yourself for the relationship to matter to him. He first fell for you because you were straightforward with him, so remember that when you want to keep him on his toes. Bring him back to the basics this time.
One of the reasons he might not be trying in the relationship as much anymore is because he doesn't feel like you're trying. Keep him on his toes by having respect for the relationship; fight for it. If you don't act as though you care, he won't care, period. Show him that he matters to you.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
One of Sagittarius' greatest fears is that he'll feel suffocated and trapped in a relationship that he actually really likes. He doesn't want to feel like he has to sacrifice and part of himself just to make you happy because it'll mean losing something important in the process.
If you want to keep him on his toes, you need to encourage him to be himself. Let him get excited about guys night and get to know him outside of the relationship. If he feels stuck, he'll stop trying and end up resenting you and the relationship – NOT what you want.
CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
Capricorn likes being in a relationship with you because it makes him feel like you're the perfect power couple together. He has his thing and you have yours, and when all is said and done, you get to come home and have each other. Cute, right?
But here's the thing: If you stop working on yourself, he'll end the relationship. He's not going to waste his time babying you when he's busy, too. Keep him on his toes by spending more time on yourself; show him that you care about being your own person as much as one in a relationship.
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
One thing that really freaks Aquarius out is being in a relationship where he has to constantly sacrifice what he wants. And what he wants is some alone time and to retain his independence. If he feels like he's always making sacrifices to keep you happy, he'll immediately stop trying.
If you want to keep him on his toes, you have to give him what he wants. Devise a plan for both of you to have some "me" time where you can be on your own and not feel so cramped. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, and he'll stay on his toes more often when he's with you.
PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
If Pisces doesn't seem like he's trying anymore in your relationship, it could be because he's a little too comfortable around you. When Pisces is really in love, he kind of melts into the relationship and gets lazy (harsh but true). If you want to keep him around, he has to grow up.
"Melting into the relationship" is Pisces-speak for letting you do all the work and him reaping all the rewards. If you want to keep him on his toes, you need to start treating him like an adult. Hey, this is his relationship, too! Coddling him will make him lazy and sedentary, and you'll end up hating each other soon enough. Show him the value of actually working for the relationship!
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Emily Ratay is a full-time writer living in Pittsburgh. She's passionate about the environment and feminism, and knows that anything is possible in the right pair of shoes. She plans on writing a non-fiction book in the future.