What A Woman Really Thinks When You Drunk Text Her

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What A Woman Really Think When You Drunk Text Her

By David Wygant

You go out with boys one night. You have a few too many. You’re loose. Your mind is slightly lubricated. And you think to yourself, hmm, how can I get my little mind lubricated because my big mind is certainly lubricated…

You look through your phone book, and you find a woman or girl that you’ve been hanging with. Maybe it’s somebody you haven’t hung with in a while. Maybe it’s somebody that you once slept with and you wish that she didn’t get away. Or maybe it’s somebody you’re sleeping with right now or trying to sleep with.

Whoever it is, you send her drunk texts.

You ask her, hey, can I come by for a little bit? I had a few drinks, wink or smiley face.

She gets the text. It’s usually past the hours of when texts should be coming in. She’s usually asleep, or maybe she’s out with her friends.

I’m talking about the post-11:00 pm texts.

RELATED: This Study Says You Should Totally Write That Drunk Text

Do you want to know what she really thinks?

Well, unless she’s into you, this is what she really thinks.

She thinks, what the heck, why do I want a foul-smelling, drunk man coming over to my house right now to have sex with me?

I’m not drunk.

I’m here, hanging out, watching a movie, relaxing, or sound asleep.

But I want to let an inebriated man, who smells like whiskey or beer, to get on top of me.

Because that’s what you’ll most likely do to her when you’re drunk.

Because you’re thinking about the lubrication you’re going to feel, and you’re really thinking about getting off. You’re not going over to her house and literally making her feel great; this isn’t about her needs, wants and desires.

It’s about your drunken needs, wants, and desires.

RELATED: How You Act When You Drink Too Much, According To Your Zodiac Sign & Astrology

But, she goes even further in her mind.

The better text would have been…

Hey, been thinking about you tonight. We really need to get together. Let’s have dinner, catch up, have a great conversation.

And that’s the text that you should be sending her.

Because if you truly, really want to have great sex, or you even know what great sex is, you’re not going to send that inebriated text so you can get yourself off, and leave her breathing in the fumes of alcohol all night long, as you slowly pass out next to her in bed.

Somebody ought to educate you guys because that’s truly what she is thinking.

I know, sometimes the truth really, really hurts. But you know what?

There’s no reason at all that you need to go and be inebriated and have sex. Unless you’re hanging out with her and she’s your girlfriend and she likes the fact that you like to breathe whiskey fumes all over her.

Those are her thoughts, man, what she really thinks about your sloppy drunk texts.

RELATED: What Your Drunk Personality Is Like, By Zodiac Sign, Per Astrology

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This article was originally published at Good Men Project. Reprinted with permission from the author.