Zodiac, Self

How You Act When You Drink Too Much, According To Your Zodiac Sign & Astrology

The Stupid Things You Do When Drunk, By Zodiac Sign

What drunk person identity comes out when your zodiac sign has had too much to drink? Could depend on who you ask.

Drinking with your friends is supposed to be fun, right? Getting the squad together and relaxing after a tough workweek with some laughs is a lot of people’s idea of a good time.

But what happens when you drink WAY too much than you should and end up waking up the next morning totally regretting something you did the night before?

RELATED: The Zodiac Sign You Act Like The Most While Intoxicated

We’ve allll been there, there’s no need to pretend like you haven’t done something stupid while drunk. Alcohol lowers our inhibitions and makes us want to be someone we’re not when we’re sober.

Depending on what your zodiac sign is, you probably have a drunk personality that is completely different from your sober, IRL personality – the one that everyone sees when you’re not drinking.

But is your drunk personality a totally different you or is it just you with softer edges and a sailor’s mouth?

Maybe you’re pretty shy when you’re not drinking, but when drunk, you’re mean, or loud, obnoxious, and love making new friends in public restrooms. Maybe you’re the good girl who never gets in trouble, but once you start drinking, all of a sudden half of your clothes are gone, you’re selling your new shoes for a burrito, and you’re trespassing into public property because you thought you saw a dog.

Hey, it happens to the best of us – sorry, the drunk of us. Drunk You isn’t necessarily a new person altogether; it can actually just be another side of your personality that maybe even you didn’t know existed before.

RELATED: These 6 Zodiac Signs Act Crazy When They're Drunk

So really, if you do end up doing something totally stupid while drinking, you only have yourself to blame… sorry. That said, why do we often do something stupid when we drink? Is there actually any reason to it or is it just thanks to liquid courage that we dance on bars and make out with strangers?

Well, for one, alcohol makes us a terrible judge of character. After a few drinks, you’re not so great at monitoring your behavior anymore and the process of making good decisions tends to go out the window. Alcohol can even make your fears disappear – even if your fear is making a fool of yourself in public.

And with enough alcohol in your system, you’re more likely to take stupid risks and make dumb decisions, all because you’re not thinking clearly. Like I said, it’s unavoidable that you’ll do something dumb while drinking because science proves it – and because alcohol will inevitably betray you.

And based on your zodiac sign, there’s a good chance you’ll do something pretty specific after a few drinks because the zodiac signs are oh so predictable.

According to astrology, here are the stupid things your zodiac sign does when you’re drunk, by horoscope date. 

ARIES (March 21 - April 19)

Aries, you just want to have fun when you drink, but your idea of “fun” tends to get a little hazier with every drink you have. By the time you’re actually drunk, you’re not really in your right mind to make smart decisions anymore. Of course, that doesn’t stop you from doing something stupid and convincing yourself it’s actually smart.

When you drink, you need to do so with friends… friends who can take your phone away from you. The stupid thing you do when you’re drunk is text your ex and ask him if you can be friends again. I promise you that’s not what you want to say to him, but you’re so giddy drunk it seems like a great idea. Chances are, you’ll regret every word you say to him in the morning, so it’s best to just delete his number altogether.

TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)

Taurus, drinking and eating go hand in hand for you – you can’t have one without the other! That’s why you’re the zodiac sign that always suggests grabbing a slice of pizza or a burger before everyone heads home. Of course, you always keep some delicious foodstuffs in your fridge just in case you don’t get your fix while you’re out, too.

When you’re drunk, your craving for your favorite drunk foods is way too strong to ignore. And unfortunately, that leads to stupid behavior, like eating food off the ground or leftover from someone else’s table at the bar. Just stop, seriously. I know, I know the five-second rule still counts when you’re drunk, but one of these days you’re gonna eat something really nasty or end up making yourself sick.

GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)

Your dual personality gets you into the most trouble when you’re drunk, Gemini. You are the kind of drunk person who is happy, then sad, then angry, then bored, then happy again – all within the span of a few hours. It can really be hard to pinpoint which personality of yours is going to come out to play until you’re already drunk.

There’s a good chance your friends will get a two-for-one special, though. And there’s an even better chance you act totally stupid at some point during the night. Like getting angry at a stranger over nothing, throwing your drink at her, and then sobbing when your ass gets tossed out of the club. Stupid decisions always have consequences! That’s something you need to learn sooner rather than later.

CANCER (June 21 - July 22)

Drinking makes you very emotional, Cancer. Those emotions can be positive – like happiness or excitement – or they can be negative – like weepy or angry. Honestly, it all depends on your mindset at the time you start drinking. Obviously, if you’re fighting with your girlfriend before you go out to drink, you’ll be in a negative mindset, just like you’d be happier if you were having a great day before drinking.

But even if you’re happy when you start drinking doesn’t mean things can’t go south as the night wears on. The stupidest thing you’ll do is let your emotions get the better of you when you’re drunk. That means something like getting into a fight in the bathroom with either your BFF or a total stranger. It might not include throwing punches, but your words can be just as hurtful as your fists.

RELATED: The 'Drunk You' May Actually Be The Real You, According To Study

LEO (July 23 - August 22)

Leo, you don’t really have a filter when you’re drunk, so it’s no surprise that more than a few people are bound to get insulted when you start getting too drunk. Of course, it’s also shocking that more people don’t do more than just roll their eyes at you when you get messy. You better count your lucky stars for that, honey.

The stupidest thing you do when you’re drunk is trash talk people… to their faces. Whether you’re so off your ass that you don’t know who you’re talking to or you just think that your brutal honesty is something they want to hear, all you’re doing to hurting people’s feelings. If you really need to be honest with someone, do so when you’re alone and sober. Nothing is messier than drunkenly opening a can of worms.

VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)

Virgo, you are another zodiac sign that appreciates honesty and openness in most situations, but when you’re drunk it’s only trashy not refreshing. When you drink, you tend to come out of your shell more – that means being a little more loosey-goosey and a little less shy. But your good-girl conscience can still come out and make you feel embarrassed for loosening up. So what do you do? Drink more. Naturally.

When you’re stupid drunk, you get stupid honest on social media, which is NEVER a good thing. That means Snapchatting your followers the story of how you lost your panties, tweeting to the world that you secretly hate your BFF’s boyfriend, and Facebook Live’ing yourself vomiting on some stranger’s car. We get it, you’re having fun. But no one else is.

LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)

Libra, you like everything in moderation; it’s what keeps you sane and not at all sloppy. When you drink, you only have a few drinks before switching to water and some food. You really do try to be good when you’re out partying with friends. That said, when you’re having a really good time, your morals can slip away from you.

After you’ve had that one drink that tips you over the edge to very drunk, everything goes out the window. When you’re drunk, you’re definitely not as stupid as other zodiac signs, but you’re still pretty dumb. You’ll drink way too much and end up barfing everywhere – on your shoes, your outfit, in your hair, in someone’s apartment – it’s very, very bad. You’re better off moderating your alcohol intake.

SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)

Scorpio, you’re a pretty guarded zodiac sign; you don’t like sharing intimate details about your personal life because you feel like the one person who should know everything about you is you. That said, when you start drinking, you start to become much more uninhibited, which only leads to you talking about things that shouldn’t be brought up.

Your stupidest drunk behavior is how you bring up the past over and over again. You’ll start every sentence with, “Remember that time you…” and it’s never something someone wants to remember. All it does is make everyone really salty and wish they never started drinking with you. Maybe it’s the liquid courage alcohol gives you or you feel like you won’t care as much later once you’re sober, but this is just messy behavior.

RELATED: This Study Says You Should Totally Write That Drunk Text

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)

Sagittarius, you’re pretty fun at parties and when you’re out with friends because you like getting your squad to do things like play card games and skinny dip. But when you lose yet another round of Kings and have to take yet another shot, things some being fun and start going south. As someone who likes to provoke people and open minds to deep conversations, you’re pretty bad at making these things fun when you’re drunk.

The stupidest thing you do when drunk is to start a heated conversation on a controversial topic. Politics, personal views, unpopular opinions – it’s all on the table. And once people start talking about these things, they don’t stop… so good job. You’re better off sharing a joint with your squad instead of drinking because at least then your conversations are more philosophical and chilled-out.

CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)

Capricorn, whenever you drink you feel like you’re the most intelligent person in the room. Maybe it’s because you prefer to sip on bourbon, cognac, and whiskey (rather than slam tequila or vodka), but there’s something about you that turns into a know-it-all once you’ve had more than a few drinks. It’s not always bad, but when it IS bad, it’s horrible.

When you get drunk, you get stupid. Because you want to prove to everyone that drunk Capricorn still knows more than anyone in a 100-mile radius does, you’re most likely to start challenging someone to a game of dares. This can only turn out very, very bad for you and everyone involved, but you seem to have left your brain at home yet again. Remember: phone, keys, wallet, brain.

AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)

Just like you have a social timer when out with friends, Aquarius, you also have a timer when it comes to how much you can drink with your friends before you’re ready to call it a night and go home. You’re the kind of person who much prefers to drink at home because you can watch a movie and eat some yummy takeout food while drinking, all without having to put on shoes… or pants.

But just because you’re ready to grab a ride back to your place doesn’t mean you can just up and leave. When you’re drunk, you get stupid by ditching your friends and disappearing. I get it, once you think about how good it’ll feel to be in your own bed again it can be hard to think about anything else, but unless you want your friends to call the police because they can’t find your drunk butt, you better keep them updated.

PISCES (February 19 - March 20)

Pisces, getting drunk is one of your favorite ways to escape reality for a little bit and go crazy. And wow, do you go crazy. You can actually be a lot of fun when you’re drunk, but that doesn’t mean you’re not a little stupid, either. When you get really, really off-your-face drunk, the side of you that wants to have fun and escape reality takes over.

You’ll most likely act dumb and get spontaneous – but not in a good way. You’ll be the one leading your squad to trespass on someone’s property just to use their hot tub, stealing drinks at the bar because you’re too drunk to care, and sometimes even streaking across the parking lot on the way back to your ride home. You’re fun but sloppy when you’re drunk. Hey, at least it makes for some good stories!

Emily Ratay is a full-time writer living in Pittsburgh. She's passionate about the environment and feminism, and knows that anything is possible in the right pair of shoes. She plans on writing a non-fiction book in the future.