Why You're In A Love-Hate Relationship With Him, According To His Zodiac Sign
Astrology explains why you can't live with him, but you can't seem to live without him either.
Unsplash If you’ve ever been in love with someone before, then you know that it’s not always sunshine and rainbows. Love isn’t supposed to be all sunshine and rainbows. True love, the realest love you can find in life, should be full of emotion – and not just the nice ones.
I’m not saying you have to scream at each other and then everything will go back to normal afterwards. I’m saying that love is something that happens when you find that deep, soulful connection with your partner.
Not only do you know anything and everything about each other, but you understand that snags in the relationship – arguments, disagreements, and stressful personal issues – don’t ruin the relationship; they make them stronger.
You know how people always say that you should love yourself (and your partner) because of all of their flaws, not in spite of them? This is what love is. It’s learning to love each other no matter how life tosses you around.
But what happens when you feel like you are in a love hate relationship? You love him more when he’s NOT around, and you almost can’t stand him when he stays? Maybe you two aren’t even in a relationship anymore, but you still have feelings for him after you’ve broken up.
But as soon as you try to make it work again, your brain says, “Ohhh yeah, that’s why we broke up in the first place!”
What on earth are you supposed to do then?! Look, there’s always a reason for this madness that love and feelings bring.
First, you’re attached to him. Whether the relationship is good for you or it’s toxic every time you’re together, there is an attachment. If you didn’t care about him no matter where in the world he was, there would be no attachment.
Secondly, we can hate the one we love for a lot of reasons. Vulnerability that makes us seek any kind of love, familiarity for something similar we used to have, and even fear that we don’t know how to be alone.
Whatever the reason is, love takes work. It’s not always easy, as hard as we wish it could be.
Whether you want to make things work with him, or you’re just trying to figure out how to be on your own, your journey to what you want starts with asking yourself what you need – not just what you want in love.
Each zodiac sign needs and wants something different in a relationship. And knowing what is will help you figure out exactly why you love him when he’s gone, but hate him when he stays, according to astrology.
ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
When you and Aries are apart, you're reminded of how good you are together. Even if it isn't picture perfect in real life, you're still a deeply connected couple. If you love him when he's gone, it's because you're reminded of all the passion you have for each other.
When he's home though, there isn't always time for passion. Life gets in the way and, as terrible is that excuse is, it's the truth. If you hate him when he stays, it's probably because any intimacy and passion you have feels rushed and sloppy. It's almost like he's trying to make up for time lost, which isn't working.
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
Taurus knows how to stay at the forefront of your mind, whether you two have been apart for weeks or just mere hours. If you love him when he's gone, it's because he's really good at making you miss him. He won't make you feel guilty for being away, but he will make you crave him.
That intense yearning doesn't go away when you're together, either. If fact, that's partly why you hate him when he stays. He's very intense and his main priority is always to sweep you off your feet, even at the most inconvenient times. It can feel a little claustrophobic when you're together, and he needs to realize that not every day needs to be so intense.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
Gemini is one of those zodiac signs that could use reverse psychology on you and actually get it to work. When he's gone, you're smitten for him because he still flirts with you and makes you feel special. Your digital connection is strong, and he's always blowing your phone up.
When he stays, though, he doesn't act this way at all. You'll hate him for it because he feels very distant and extra generous with his feelings... just not with you. It's almost as though he's not interested in you when he's got you, but when you're apart, he can't stop thinking about you. Gemini needs his freedom in his relationship, but he also needs to be more mature.
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
It's hard not to fall in love with Cancer, especially because distance doesn't change how he feels about you. Even if you're thousands of miles apart, he still constantly takes care of you. He's the kind of partner to call you up and tell you good night and check in with you during the day.
When he stays, it's a different story. Sure, he still knows how to take care of you, whether you're together or not, but it feels different when he's around. Cancer is much more comfortable talking about the crazy things you can do together instead of actually doing them. When he's around, he's too safe. He doesn't want to get out of his comfort zone and you suffer for that.
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
Leo is the kind of guy who knows how to give just as much as he gets. While he loves being adored himself, he knows the value of adoring you, too. When he's away, he still spoils you and makes you feel like the most special person in the world. Words, gifts, whatever – Leo's got it.
But, as luck would have it, life doesn't always let us make time for adoration and spoiling our partners. When he stays, life makes your relationship feel strained. The two of you are so busy with work and social lives that it's hard not to feel ignored by each other. Leo starts to pull away and find stimulation elsewhere. Why is love always easier when life doesn't get in the way?!
VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
When Virgo is in a relationship with someone, he knows how hard it can be. Whether you're together or apart, your relationship is bound to run into some speed bumps. When he's away, this all seems very simple. Your problems feel much easier to handle when you're apart.
When you're together, it's much harder to acknowledge you have problems without making time to fix them. You're not always pitting against each other, but life does make things stressful. If you hate him when he stays, it's because you can't help but feel the tension between you two. Work, family, friends – it all gets in the way and ignoring it doesn't help.
LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
Libra loves so deeply that it's easy to feel like you're in a fairytale when you're with him. Even when the two of you are apart, he has endless charisma that strengthens your bond together. Whether you're considering getting back together or it's long-distance, Libra still loves you.
When he stays, though, that's different. While he still proves that he has nothing but love for you, he's disappointed that he can't bring you a perfect fairytale life. His worst fear – feeling like an old married couple who falls into a boring routine – turns out to be your reality together. He can be hard on himself when things don't go his way, but he also doesn't want to admit that it's hard.
SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
Scorpio has a very hard time being someone who can open up to people about his personal life, even if he cares for you deeply. When he's away, it's a little easier for him than facing his fears head-on. You feel like a stronger couple because he's able to be more open with his feelings.
Of course, Scorpio is kind of like that person who drinks too much at a party, does something embarrassing, and pretends like he doesn't remember the next day. When you're together, he tends to hide himself away and closes himself off to you, even if he's not intentionally trying to do it. He's a hard one to crack, and that puts the ultimate strain on your relationship.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
Sagittarius is another one of those zodiac signs that need to be free, even when he's in a serious relationship. Of course, you know this, and he knows you know this, so even when you're apart, he makes sure that you also know that his devotion for you is not lost just because he's away.
But even if Sagittarius is able to make time apart not seem like a serious thing, he still reverts back to the person he was when he was single when you're together. When he stays, you resent him because he feels restricted and claustrophobic, like his freedom is gone. Even though it's not, he's one to get caught up in his thoughts and sabotage a good relationship because he has doubts.
CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
Capricorn has a lot going on in his life. Honestly, that's probably why you were so attracted to him in the first place. He's the kind of person who is always on the go, but even when you're apart, your relationship feels stable and happy; you understand that he's busy.
Of course, that doesn't change when he stays. Capricorn loves you because you know that you can be together and not need to be so close all the time. That said, a little intimacy would be nice. If you hate him when he stays, it's because he's so quiet and preoccupied. Sure, he makes time for you when he's away, but it feels like you're his second choice all the time now that he's here.
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
Distance or not, Aquarius doesn't matter. If a relationship is right, he will always make sure you know just how much he cares about you. If you love him when he's away, it's because he's so nonchalant about it. It's no biggie! Why? Because you're BFFs who can handle any distance.
That said, when he stays, it feels different. He still treats you like a friend, but not really a partner. He's another zodiac sign that has a lot on his plate, but he lets that overwhelm him to the point that it strains the relationship. If you hate him it's because he minimizes your feelings; he puts himself first and never even realizes that you need attention, too. That's not what BFFs do.
PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
Pisces is one of those ultra-romantic zodiac signs who will always go above and beyond to remind you that he loves you. When he's away, you love him because he makes you feel totally special and loved – no matter the distance.
But as classic Pisces would have it, he acts differently when he stays. Pisces is a very hot and cold zodiac sign, which means that one day he's all over you and the next, he needs a ton of space (almost too much space). When he's away, he's hot for you, but when he stays, he turns cold like a dead fish. He's all over the place that it can be way too exhausting to keep up with.
Emily Ratay is a full-time writer living in Pittsburgh. She's passionate about the environment and feminism, and knows that anything is possible in the right pair of shoes. She plans on writing a non-fiction book in the future.