What You See First Tells You What's Holding You Back From Lasting Love

free personality test

Growing up, we all have an idea about how love and romance are supposed to go. We think that we will have a few serious relationships, a few heartbreaks, and then eventually we'll find that one person we want to spend the rest of our lives with, voila, happy ending! 

The truth of the matter is that love isn't always that simple. While it might seem like the most straightforward thing on planet Earth, there's a lot that can go wrong when it comes to making a relationship last — even if the two of you are absolutely perfect for each other. 


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But ... how are you supposed to figure that stuff out? Sure, we all learn from our prior relationships and hopefully (along with the cliché baggage) we bring things we learned in our failed relationships into our successful ones to help make them go the distance. But sometimes, the things that can keep you from lasting love are personality traits of your own —and no one likes having to admit that they might be part of the problem. 

If you think that something about your personality is keeping you from lasting love then you're in the right place! This simple free personality test was designed to help you quickly identify the personality trait that could be keeping you from making the commitment that you've always craved.

It couldn't be easier: Just look at the image below while paying close attention to the first thing in the image that catches your eye. Then scroll down and read about how what you saw first reveals the personality trait that's keeping you from finding a relationship that will stand the test of time. 

The bearded man 

If you saw the bearded man first your prior experiences are keeping you from lasting love. You view every single relationship that you've experienced as a learning opportunity that has enabled you to grow. While some of that is true, you often hold onto "lessons" that are actually just scar tissue that's keeping you from taking the risks that true love allows.

In order to find love, you must greet it with open arms, not be closed off to it. 


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The two birds 

If you saw the two birds first your unreasonable expectations are the things that are keeping you from a love that goes the distance. It's good to have traits that you look for in a potential partner, it's nice to be picky, but you've got to be careful.

If you hold out for a dream like the one in your head you could overlook the chance to have a real relationship, moles warts and all! 

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The mountains 

If you saw the mountains first your emotional distance is the part of you that is keeping you from finding a long-lasting romantic relationship. You want to get close to someone, and what's more, you know that getting close is critical if you want to really connect, but you've been hurt so badly in the past that you can't help yourself.

Nobody said this would be easy, even if it was meant to be. Take your time if you must go at your own pace, but accept that true love means laying yourself bare (emotionally and, you know, naked body wise) to the other. 

Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cats, Batman and Margo. She hosts the love and dating advice show, Becca After Dark,  every Tuesday and Thursday at 10:15 pm Eastern. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.