How To Turn A Guy On: 20 Men Reveal The #1 Secret To Getting Them Hot And Steamy

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how to turn a guy on

Have you ever wondered how to turn a guy on? Not just turn him on, but how to get him really hot and steamy? Well, if you have, you’re not alone.

Many women wonder what makes men tick. Unfortunately, there is no one secret. Every man is cut from a different cloth, and different guys get turned on by different things. Seriously. Some guys find bondage sexy while others are into texts, sexts, and role play.

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The good news is that, regardless of a man's particular fetishes or kinks, there are a few tried and true tricks that most men find appealing, which get them "in the mood." And below, 20 men reveal how to turn a guy on and what really gets them going.

1. "I like confidence during sex. I enjoy a partner that knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to ask or speak her mind. I find that extremely enticing."

2. "I get turned on by little things like holding hands, stroking my hair, playing with my ears, cuddling..."

3. "One of the things that turns me on most is the various sounds that can come from a woman — everything from the light moaning during foreplay to the dirty talk of her crudely asking for more to the sharp shrieks right before she climaxes. It gets (and keeps) me in the mood."

4. "I love it when my wife takes my soft penis in her mouth and [performs oral sex] until I'm hard."

5. "I get turned on by a light switch, but all kidding aside, the smile and the way we look at each other and being able to laugh. Of course, physical attraction varies but a sense of humor goes a long way."

6. "It could be anything, but if I have to pick something specific, her humor and being uninhibited. Also, I like to watch her undress while she’s getting ready for bed."



7. "The turn be on thing is, well... complicated. In my teens and twenties it didn't take much. Just a look or the tight outfit. But now, as a married man in my mid-30s, it has a lot more to do with trust and dedication, and laughter is a turn-on."

8. "When my wife teases me throughout the day by subtly teasing or groping me."

9. "I like when she carves out time for sex and tells me when that time will be. We have young kids so planning is key. I also like when she wears the 'good leggings' around the house and sneaks touches in throughout the day."

10. "It’s really hard to say what the number one thing is that my partner does to turn me on. I'm really just into her, but I do like when she goes the extra mile and endures my nether-regions to give me incredible oral sex, or when she gets too excited to even take off her underwear and we just pull them to the side and immediately start intercourse. But one of my favorite things is when she lets me give her some oral service first, which is a huge turn-on for me. I really just love it when she's being pleasured."

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11. "The thing that turns me on or gets me in the mood the most is playing exhibitionistic 'dare games' with my partner. Challenging her to flash me in public or having sex in risky places always gets me going. There's something about the added risk of getting caught or seen by someone that heightens the experience for me. When my partner is also into it, her added pleasure adds to my excitement."

12. "An occasional grope goes a long way. I’ve realized that I like to be objectified at times."

13. "It is normally simple gestures like a leg touch or rub while out. Fingers through the hair. Something relaxing and soothing. When alone, it is pretty much the same thing: being in a relaxed and just touching each other while watching TV or laying in bed. Also seeing her dressed down and comfortable is far more sexy than being all 'dolled up.'"

14. "To be honest, she doesn’t have to do much to get me going. It could be just the way she looks or dress. She wears a lot of hoodies so when I see her in a tank top, it immediately turns me on. It also helps with the figure she has. When she wears her leggings or yoga pants, she’s got me hooked."

15. "I find intelligence sexy. I like when we can talk about everything from politics to TED talks."

16. "When she kisses my neck, we go from first gear right to sixth. It’s an instant turn-on."

17. "I like it when my wife moans into my ear and tells me what she wants me to do to her."

18. "Butt stuff."

19. "Deep, tongue-y kisses. In general, men typically like sloppy kisses more than women so it's probably natural when she initiates or reciprocates one that I'm incredibly turned on. There's something desperate and passionate and Jesus-we're-17-again-for-2-seconds and need this connection about long, hot, wet kisses." 

20. "I don't feel great about this, but jealousy. It's awful. Like the bane of my existence outside of the bed. But man, does her jealousy of other girls get me when we're getting down to it. It's like she's competing for me or something. The best sex we ever have is when it feels like there's something at stake. We may need a therapist."

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Nicole Lane is a wife, mother, writer, and regular contributor for YourTango. She is a staunch defender of women's rights, she believes firmly in equality and parity, and she is an advocate for women's health, mental health, and sexuality.