The Surprising Way To Find Happiness Every Day (& How 'Going With The Flow' Is Holding You Back)

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Are you in control of your life?

How do you live your life? Do you often feel like you’re going with the flow and just riding along a wave of decisions that are made for you in a given day? How can you make the most out of your day — out of your life — if you’re letting everything else come between you and your chances of finding happiness?

This, according to therapist Jhenneviev Heartt in the YourTango Experts video above, is living superficially, never truly embracing our decisions with intention. We often choose to “go with the flow,” and let the things around us shape us, rather than forging a path for ourselves — one that helps us along our pursuit of happiness.


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In this world, we have the choice to live superficially, like when we get riled up about what other people think that we should or shouldn’t be doing, or we’re not doing the things that we should be doing. If you’re caving into external pressure, you are living superficially, only doing what other people expect of you.

And you’re missing out on an amazing journey: Your life. The life that you’re in charge of.

So what does it mean to live profoundly and stop simply going with the flow?

Well, you can live profoundly by allowing yourself to impact your decisions every day with the knowledge that you are choosing to do those things with purpose and intention. You are taking control by finding your own happiness.

This, says Heartt, is living your life as a “ritual.” Choosing to focus yourself on the tasks of a given day with your own personal power — the power of your choice.

So what benefit would you receive if you started living your life as a ritual? And how can you increase the impact of those outcomes?

If you bring the power of prayer into your life, you can increase those benefits even more. And by prayer, Heartt smeans truly looking at and living your daily life with a sense of purpose, attention, and devotion. This does not require a belief in the divine or even a religious connotation.

Rather than praying for a sense of direction, you can use your prayer to focus yourself or ask a trusted friend to listen as you work out a decision. Prayer is really just what you make of it; so that means it can be the conscious effort of putting intention and devotion into every choice and action you make.

When you choose to live this way, by making conscious decisions in your life, you’re not going to feel pulled along by the rest of the world. You’re going to feel like you’re standing in a river, feeling open to the pull of possibilities in the currents all around you.

And there isn’t pressure to go any one direction, either. When you open yourself up while staying firmly planted in your devotion to the things in life that will benefit you, you’ll still be able to directly choose just what direction you want; which path to forge; which current to follow.

You’ll be able to tell if the decisions that you’re making are out of fear, need, or other people’s expectations. You’ll see the opportunities in front of you that will open your world and expand your comfortable boundaries to embrace every possible positive influence in your world.

This is your life, after all. These are your options and your choices. And when you choose to live the life that you have with devotion and profoundness, you’re going to see that there are definitely better options out there for you than just “going with the flow.”


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Jhenneviev Heartt is a transformational therapist who focuses on helping to guide people to where they need to be in their lives, so that they can live fully and happily. She wants to help people become better so that they can lead better, healthier lives, and uses a combination of therapies and shamanistic ritual in her programs. If you have any questions or would like to speak to Jhenneviev about how to achieve harmony and happiness, contact her here

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