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What His Holiday Gift Really Says About Your Relationship Status

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What His Holiday Gift Really Means
Love

How much effort did he put in?

You’re in a relationship with a new guy and it’s the holidays. That means gifts. Well, usually.

You get a present from him and, in true female fashion, you analyze what his holiday gift means. You wouldn’t have a pulse if you didn’t. But instead of the guess work and sleuthing, there are a few ways to find out for sure.


RELATED: Just Dating: Should You Get Him Something For Christmas?


Before we dive into the dirty details, let’s consider a few things:

  • Money doesn’t matter. People should spend what they can afford. It’s the thought that counts the most. The exception to this is a wealthy guy who goes cheap on a gift.
  • The thought and time invested is what counts and shows how much he cares... or doesn’t.

1. A gift card of low denomination

It means he considers you... and that’s about it (unless he is broke, then it is more meaningful). He wants you to feel acknowledged but he’s not about to go crazy for you. This is a good “early dating,” gift but if you have stronger feelings for him, you’ll be disappointed not about the dollars spent, but the less personal gift.

Now, if he is broke and does this, it means he probably didn’t know what to get you and wanted to acknowledge you still. And depending on how broke he is, it could mean you really matter to him but he doesn’t know you well enough yet.

In general, gift cards are less personal and have implied distance between the two gifters. Unless, of course, you’re just difficult to gift; in which case, a gift card is easier.

2. A gift card of high denomination

He wants you to feel spoiled for whatever reason (to gain favor with you, make you feel noticed or impress you), but it’s not personal. It’s not the gift that says, “You are the one for me.” It’s not the gift that says, “You are the person I love.”  Unless you’re difficult to shop for.

3. Something sexy, like toys or clothing

This means he utterly wants every inch of you, sees you as “his present,” and wants to indulge in you. He may be very serious about you (or not), but in any case, he's entranced by you sexually.

4. An experience, like a weekend getaway or spa day

This man really cares about you. Deeply. A spa day to yourself is an extremely thoughtful gift. Same with a manicure and pedicure. A weekend getaway says I want time with you. I want more of you. I want to make you happy.

Gifts of “experiences” are really gifts that come from someone who thinks highly of you and cares. This guy is a keeper!

5. Something homemade

Well, this has to be the sweetest gift you could get. This is from someone who adores you and wants you as more than a fool-around friend or side piece. This is someone who is considering you highly. And if it’s dinner, I hope he’s a good cook.

6. Something incredibly random

We’ve all gotten that random gift that you open and think “WTF?” My then-boyfriend got me a wound-up toy that was a puppy... when I wanted an actual puppy.

In this case, it can be a few things: He’s a horrible gift giver, he left it to the last-minute, or he doesn’t know you and doesn’t care to be too thoughtful. Based on those things, you can decide whether to be upset or shrug it off. Not every guy is a good gift-giver. He may really be clueless.


RELATED: Why It's So Important To Spend the Holidays With Your Boo


7. A personalized gift

Photo albums. Frames. Whatever the case may be, personalized gifts are nostalgic and sweet. They’re not coming from your homeboy down the street who likes to text you for hookups and nude selfies. They’re from someone who wants to reach in and touch your heart. Be impressed.

8. A self-serving gift

He says you need to lose weight, so he buys you a gym membership. He says you need nicer sexier panties, so he buys you some. In this case, he’s a bit selfish and is pushing his agenda. Although, in truth, exercise is good for everyone and so are sexy panties.

You know the situation best whether to dump his ass or appreciate the nudge and ride with it.

9. Clothing

This is an impersonal gift. It’s a practical, helpful gift, but unless it’s lingerie or a sexy dress he wants you to wear to an art showing, it’s impersonal. He thinks enough about you to pick out something nice, so don’t push it off. It’s a nice gift that took time and some thought.

10. Something cheap (but he has money)

This is a sign of someone who is either cheap or just wants to get laid. In any case, move along.

11. Jewelry

This guy wants to impress you! And it means he’s invested somewhat too. Sure, a narcissist could buy you diamonds and drop you in a heartbeat, but jewelry gifts say you matter. This guy thinks you are seriously amazing. Enjoy that gift, girl.

12. Nothing at all

Screw him. Even a broke guy can make you dinner. Case closed.


RELATED: What You Should (And Shouldn't) Give Your New Guy For Christmas


Laura Lifshitz will work for chocolate. The former MTV personality and Columbia University graduate is currently writing about divorce, sex, women’s issues, fitness, parenting, marriage and more for YourTangoNew York Times, DivorceForce, Women’s Health, Working Mother, Pop Sugar, and more. Her own website is frommtvtomommy.com.

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