Photo: Metro UK/GOT
The video is hard to watch.
By Rebecca Jane Stokes — Written on Nov 17, 2017
If you're a fan of YouTube and Soundcloud, you may have heard of Lil Peep. If you aren't, Lil Peep was a YouTube star and emo rapper who fused emo melodies hip hop beats and "the brutal terrain of nu-metal" in a way that spoke to the darkest pain and vulnerabilties of his audience. The star known as the "SoundCloud Rapper" was found dead in his tour bus in Tuscon, Arizona at 9:00 pm Wednesday, November 15, 2017, of an apparent drug overdose, just before he was set to take to the stage. It has yet to be confirmed whether or not his death will be ruled as accidental or as death by suicide.
Lil Peep's music was always edgy, with references to out of control partying, drug use, depression, anxiety and suicidal ideations, and in the days leading up to his death his social media posts grew increasingly dark, and possibly telling.
On November 14, he shared this video of himself slurring heavily on his tour bus in El Paso, Texas.
"El Paso, I took 6 Xanax and now I'm lit. I'm good. I'm not sick. Imma see Y'all tonight."
On the early afternoon of November 15, he then posted a photograph of himself next to a neon "Cry Baby" sign to Instagram.
"When I die You'll love me."
And this was followed soon after by yet another Instagram post, this time with what appear to be pills on his tongue.
"fucc it."
Soon after news of his death became public, a video taken by his friend Bexey surfaced online, reportedly showing Peep sprawled awkwardly in the back of the tour bus, his mouth wide open, eyes closed — and quite possibly already dead.
Warning: The video is hard to watch.
Bexey initially posted that video as his Instagram story, then quickly deleted it and followed up with another in which he says, "My brother just died in my arms, man. I'm done with this sh*t, man. Forever. F**k this sh*t."
"THAT VIDEO I POSTED.. I WOULD SEE PEEP WITH HIS MOUTH OPEN AND HEAD BACK ASLEEP LIKE THAT NEARLY EVERYDAY.. I WAS RECORDING HIM ASLEEP. IF YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I WOULD RECORD MY BROTHERS DEAD BODY AND MAKE A JOKE ABOUT IT YOU ARE SICK IN THE MIND.. F**K YOU."
And adding to the mystery surrounding these events, another photo surfaced showing Lil Peep with his arm around a young woman who fans claim may have given him the last dose of "Xanax" he ever took.
This screenshot appeared on a now-deleted Instagram account by a user going by the name Gio.
And closer look at the comments thread pictured above may hold a frightening key to the mystery currently surrounding Lil Peep's death.
'Mariah': Bex was there I saw him but he disappeared before I could get a pic and I never saw coldy... Gbc [GothBoiClique] high af because of me and my friend lol."
'Yahya': "In the gc? this probably the last pic of peep ever... he's... oh sh*t... she gave him the fentanyly sh*t?"
While evidence at the scene indicated his death was likely caused by an overdose of Xanax, the reference above to "the fentanyly sh*t" is most likely a reference to a dangerous trend of making what is referred to as "fake Xanax", Xanax laced with fentanyl, the opioid drug responsible for the deaths of both Prince and Michael Jackson."
The prevalence has become such that there are multiple threads dedicated to discussing it on Reddit.
"Posting from a small Upstate NY town, Pop 30k. We've now lost 3 people to this bullshit. My best friend's 21 year old niece died because of this shit last night and was found by her 4 year old daughter. Shooting for harm reduction here, because I'm so angry and just don't know what else to do. PLEASE STAY FAR FAR AWAY FROM THIS F**KING SH*T!
And, of course, Twitter has also gotten ahold of the picture of unidentified woman and Lil Peep as well.
And as if that weren't enough, someone on 4chaneven has a screenshot of one of her messages with Peep's friend and fellow GBC rapper, Mackned.
An article in Billboard Magazine quoted Pima County's Chief Medical Examiner, Dr. Gregory Hess, who stated that, "'it is suspected that the 21 year-old musician (born Gustav Ahr)... died of a drug overdose, but that it will be 'six to eight weeks before toxicology tests results' will be available to determine a definitive cause of death. The results of the postmortem exam will be available when the toxicology test is complete."
The 21-year emo rapper was a star on the rise. His first album, Come Over When You're Sober (Part 1) was performing well, and it seemed like Lil Peep was destined to go down in the annals of rock and roll fame. In fact, to many of his fans, he was already the biggest star imaginable.
And that's only part of what makes his death at such a young age so tragically inconceivable.
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a sex, humor and lifestyle writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. She hosts the sex, love, and dating advice show, Becca After Dark on YourTango's Facebook Pageevery Tuesday and Thursday at 10:20 pm Eastern. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.