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Talk about jerks... Or not, I guess?
By Rebecca Jane Stokes — Written on Oct 24, 2017
For years, decades, heck, for millennia, men of the world have masturbated on a regular basis. Surprise! I know, it's pretty shocking, right?
Masturbation is now and forever surely has been a routine part of life. Once most males of our species reach sexual maturity (and often, even before that) masturbation is a perpetual item at the top of their to-do lists. And yes, ladies, I am well aware that women masturbate as well, but this article isn't about that, so get your hand out of your pants for now.
For some, this means masturbating while looking at pornography, and for others, it means masturbating to whatever sexual fantasies they're thinking about that day. Some men use sex toys while others go the old-fashioned route of putting their hand (or hands) to work. To which I say, to each their own! The more creative masturbation techniques out there the better!
Yet shocking as it may seem and despite our society's love of over-generalizations, there are, indeed, men out there who simply DO NOT masturbate. Ever.
For some men, this may be due to low a sex drive or a sexual orientation such as asexuality or demi-sexuality.
But for a large number of men, particularly American men, their abstinence in the arena of self-loving stems from one of these three reasons.
1. Masturbation goes against their religious beliefs.
Damn you, religion! YOU ARE THE REASON WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS! (JK. Religion is awesome. I respect your beliefs, etc, etc.) These faith communities view self-pleasures of the flesh as a sinful form of distraction from the indispensable business of finding a mate to settle down and reproduce with. Romantic right? Yeah, I think so too.
The common theme among Abrahamic religions such as Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Mormonism, etc. that prohibit masturbation arises from the story of Onan (Genesis:28), who commits a sin when he "spills his seed" rather than impregnating the widow of his brother as he was obligated to do. While that particular tale has nothing at all to do with masturbation and there is no other prohibition against masturbation anywhere in the Bible, the justification for the interpretation that labels masturbation as sinful has evolved through the centuries.
"America's Rabbi" Shmuley Boteach, perhaps summed up these religions' staunch opposition to masturbation when he said this:
"Masturbation minimizes our sexual dependency on other people. Hence, its harmful nature."
Rabbi Boteach also recently paired up with none other than Pam Anderson to make the highly intellectual argument that "porn is for losers", so... Make of that what you will.
Some Eastern religions, such as Taoism, teach that masturbating drains us of our life's vital essence.
Side note: Let's get one thing clear from a medical perspective before I go on. Masturbation does not drain men of anything other than approximately three-quarters of a teaspoonful of semen. If you are staying hydrated, treating your penis with (relative) respect, and making sure masturbation isn't getting in the way of either your job or your social life, there is nothing for you to worry about.
2. Confused ideas about fertility.
Another camp of men who elect to stop masturbating is comprised of those who believe men should refrain when they and their partner are trying to conceive a child. Their thought process is that if you don't ejaculate, you will somehow "save up" greater quantities of viable semen.
Again, the male reproductive system just doesn't work that way. In fact, the more you masturbate, the more semen you will typically produce because your body comes to understand that it is expected to produce a certain amount.
"A study published in the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology showed men who ejaculated daily for seven days had higher-quality sperm at the end of the week than men who didn't ejaculate. The sperm’s rate of DNA fragmentation dropped from 34 percent to 26 percent, meaning it stayed more intact and was more likely to fertilize an egg. Frequent sex means more ejaculation. The less time sperm spends in the testicles, the less likely it is to be damaged over time."
So go ahead, you have my full permission to tell that to your woman the next time she asks you to hold off for the sake of baby-making.
3. The No-Fap Movement.
When a study conducted in China in 2003 started making rounds online in 2011 with the assertion that men who abstain from masturbation for seven days may see a significant increase in their testosterone levels, Redditor Alexander Rhode started a subreddit called NoFap as "a moderated community-centered website that hosts challenges in which users ('Fapstronauts') abstain from pornography and masturbation for a period of time ('rebooting')."
The term "NoFap" is defined by the all-knowing Urban Dictionary as "an online community with thousands of members who practice avoiding all forms of artificial sexual stimulation (e.g., watching porn and masturbating."
Members of this all-male community are also fond of the frequent use of the acronym PMO, which stands, simply for the words, "Porn. Masturbation. Orgasm."
Members of the group claim to have seen "dramatic increases in social confidence, energy, concentration, mental acuity, motivation, self-esteem, emotional stability, happiness, sexual prowess, and attractiveness to the opposite sex." If they're feeling that, cool.
But there's still no good science out there to support their belief that masturbation is harmful.
I can understand why an argument can be made for sometimes needing to take a break from watching porn. I can see how sitting in front of a computer all day might leave some people with a warped idea of sex and love and it could also potentially disconnect you from the world at large. But sex is a huge part of life. Heck, sex is literally what makes life (if the biology I learned as a youth is correct in the slightest, and I believe it is).
In my humble opinion, forcing yourself to do battle with your natural impulse to masturbate goes against the way we are designed as human beings. This is, again, my humble opinion, and one I present to you here alongside the opinions of people who totally disagree with me. Such is life. Such is the Internet.
If you're a man and you're worried that you NEED to stop masturbating for your health, chances are great that you probably do not.
But you should definitely consult with your doctor or your therapist if this is an issue that is troubling you so they can help you make an informed decision about your own personal masturbatory life.
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a sex, humor and lifestyle writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. She hosts the sex, love, and dating advice show, Becca After Dark on YourTango's Facebook Page every Tuesday and Thursday at 10:20 pm Eastern. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.
