Photo: weheartit
Hilarious astrology horoscopes brought to you by the good people of Tumblr!
By Stephanie Watson — Written on Oct 05, 2017
Tumblr has everything: fandoms, art, feminism, memes, and even witchcraft. The mystical side of the blog platform is ripe with horoscopes both serious and comical.
So if you've had a stressful week and really don't want to face a horoscope full of warnings and lessons, then here are seven of the best Tumblrs for "the zodiac signs as" posts. These astrological Tumblr posts are bound to put a smile on your face.
Squidward was a little too relatable for his own good sometimes. I mean, heck, could you deal with SpongeBob and not be in a constant bad mood? We all have "Squidward days," but certain zodiac signs take it a little harder than others.
Pisces, you need a vacation; Cancer, you need a hug; Sagittarius, please, for the love of god, take breaks and hydrate yourself when you're working.
2. The signs as... out of context quotes
I know I'd have liked to have been a fly on the wall during those conversations. I only wish I were an Aries because then I'd have an excuse for why my jokes suck. This post has a lot of potential for creating new in-jokes between you and your friends. Virgos, is it true? Are your eyebrows on "fleet"?
3. The signs as... Chandler Bing
We all have a little bit of Chandler Bing inside of us — a bit of sarcasm here and there, a little fear of abandonment, and some killer dance moves. Some of us, however, share more traits with him than we realize.
My dear Scorpios, you may be afraid you'll never find anyone to share this world with, but just know that you will find your Monica eventually. Cancers, you're born worriers, but it'll all work out. And fellow Geminis? Keep on groovin'.
4. The signs as... Paolo Sebastian dresses
Okay, this one is bound to make every sign feel classy as heck. Capricorn has real Game of Thrones vibes, while Aries totally channels some Lord of the Rings. And Libra, I'm incredibly envious of that detailing.
If you have a dinner party, wedding, or prom coming up, then you can totally use your star sign for some dress inspiration. Maybe you can't just place an order with Paolo himself, but there are bound to be more affordable dupes out there.
5. The signs as... cats in costumes
Whenever your horoscope has brought you bad news or when Mercury is in Retrograde, you're going to need something to cheer you up. What's the best way to cheer anyone up? Cats, of course.
What makes the concept of cats and astrology even cuter is that your own cats totally have their own horoscopes, so it's not just the owner who can indulge in a little catstrology.
6. The signs as... out of context text messages
Oh2e is pretty brave for sharing their texts online, and thank god they did because they're all hilarious. The nature of each text seems to match each personality perfectly.
I doubt you know a single Aquarius who hasn't deleted every trace of a person from their life after a bad breakup or failed friendship, or a Virgo who can bring great urgency to a conversation about stationary. And I don't about you but I really want to see what the heck kind of mood-board Gemini was working on.
7. The signs as... Halloween movies
Not sure which spooky movie to watch this Halloween night? Let your sign choose for you. All of the classics are here under one post, and for those who can't stand jump scares there are a lot of PG films to choose from.
Leos, who are known to be warmhearted, action-orientated and driven by love, will adore Nightmare Before Christmas. And Taurus, there's no way you're not going to relate to the sensual and romantic byplay of Gomez and Morticia Adams. As for me, it looks like I'll be watching Beetlejuice this year.
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Stephanie Watson is a freelance journalist, specializing in social justice, wellness, and pop culture. She is the editor-in-chief of feminist website Fembot Magazine, creator of the zine Cyberrriot, and has contributed to such online publications as HelloGiggles, Bitch Media, Bustle, and many more. Follow her on Twitter @Stephie__Watson.