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"I remember it was the weekend and there was a marathon of 'Xena: Warrior Princess' on TV."
By Aly Walansky — Written on Oct 06, 2017
We try to ignore stereotypes, but some are based on reality, such as this one: Men really like to masturbate. And whether you are talking about a man who is 40 or 14, this is probably true.
But how did he get started? Once upon a time, he was a sexually unaware preteen and kind of confused about what was happening with his body. And then he had that mind-blower of a moment. (No pun intended.)
So, what was their very first time like? Were they hooked? Confused? Worried about what was going on? A little of all, actually. We asked what men think about their first time touching themselves, and these masturbation stories prove that not every experience is a good one.
1. I rubbed my penis on a pillow.
"It’s funny because I was always horny, but for the longest time I couldn't figure out how to masturbate. I would hear other boys talk about 'beating your meat' and tugging your penis, but I just didn’t get it. This was also before online porn, so I didn't have a lot of resources at my disposal to learn from. It was not until out of frustration I started rubbing a pillow on my penis that I first climaxed and I learned how masturbation was supposed to feel. I became quite an enthusiast after that."
2. I found my dad's naughty magazines.
"I'm sure it was to one of the magazines I swiped from my dad's bag (he probably used it too) or one that I found in the woods at an old fort behind a neighbor's house (probably VERY used, too!). In the last nearly 30 years that I've been 'handling' things, it's always pretty awesome and I'm hoping the first one was too, or else maybe I wouldn't have done it again!"
3. I pushed through the initial pain.
"I was a young tween and in the days leading up, I played with myself a lot but didn't quite orgasm and stopped when it hurt. Well, one night, something told me to keep going, and the pain, to my surprise at the time, felt good. Not much later, I orgasmed. It wasn't my best one, but it felt pretty good, and it led to a lot more, if my teenage years are any guide."
4. I touched myself when nobody was home... and then told my mom about it.
"I was a latchkey kid growing up, so I had about 2 hours alone to kill every day from age 7 on. I know 7 is a little young to be left alone, but my grandmother lived with us and didn't go to the second floor so I wasn't completely alone. Anyway, one day I stumbled upon a dirty magazine. Not a regular Playboy, but something with coed activities. All the attention focused on the men's parts and it didn't take long before I was overcome with a feeling that was pretty hard to describe for a 7-year-old. Of course, that didn't stop me from trying to describe it to my mother when she got home from work. I thought I discovered something no one else knew about! At 7 there are none of the accompanying fluids yet, so least there was no mess for her to clean up."
5. The characters in Xena: Warrior Princess turned me on.
"I remember it was the weekend and there was a marathon of 'Xena: Warrior Princess' on TV, and there were so many scantily clad men and women on TV and I started to get hard. I panicked because I was not sure what was happening and turned over on my stomach on the couch to make sure my parents or sisters did not see. I was freaking out and ended up going up to my room trying to hide. My friend on the bus told me he had a wet dream and I figured that was happening so I started to masturbate, not knowing what was going to happen. It got very messy and I was so embarrassed and had to try and clean up fast before anyone else came upstairs. I felt dirty and like I had a secret, but I knew it was fun and I liked it."
6. I was really concerned about tissues.
"I can't remember — it was so long ago but I'm sure I enjoyed it and was a mixture of emotions when I orgasmed, thinking what the hell my semen was and wondering if I needed to save my allowance for Kleenex purchases!"
7. I flipped through Penthouse.
"I grew up in a fairly conservative household in central California, but stumbled across my dad's stash of Playboy and Penthouse magazines. Not knowing the difference, I started with the Playboys, which was more than enough to get my novice self going. I made sure I knew exactly how to replace the magazines, double-checked that no one was home, and scurried off to the bathroom and locked the door. The images of beautiful, girl-next-door, tanned and toned women did the trick and immediate I was on my way. What they taught you in sex ed didn't really prepare you for what's to come (pun intended), and I quickly realized I needed to clean up the mess I had made. Once that was taken care of, I made sure to put the magazines back exactly where I found them, at least until next time..."
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Aly Walansky is a NY-based lifestyles writer. Her work appears in dozens of digital and print publications regularly. Visit her on Twitter or email her at alywalansky@gmail.com.
