17 Signs You're Still Getting Over An Ex — But It Hasn't Happened Just Yet

Photo: getty
17 Signs You're Still Getting Over An Ex — But It Hasn't Happened Just Yet

Love makes us do crazy things sometimes, primarily because love is an addiction for many of us. We often will think that we’re over our exes, just because we don’t think about them as often as we used to.

However, breakups often end up causing a lot more damage than we want to admit. Many are left longing for exes, years after the breakup.

RELATED: 5 Ways To Get Over The Ex You're Still Obsessing Over

The funny thing is that denial can be a very real, very strong issue with people and many may not realize that their exes are poisoning their dating life. Worried this is what’s happening to you? Here are some signs you're not over him.

1. You honestly still think about him (longingly) every day, or you occasionally shed tears over him.

One of the most obvious signs you're not over him is if you’re still grieving him. If you were over him, you wouldn’t be crying about him or constantly missing him. That’s just the plain ol’ truth of it.

2. You still keep all the (not actually useful) presents he gave you.

I’m not going to judge if you want to keep a luxury toaster or something else really useful he gave you, but if you’re still clinging to his boxer shorts, that stuffed bunny he gave you, or anything similar, it’s time to realize you’re not over him. Pawn the jewelry, donate the stuffed animals, and treat yourself to something nice.

3. Even if you’re dating someone, you’re delaying things because you’re hoping they will come back to you.

Stop. If you’re doing this, what you’re doing is incredibly cruel to your current partner and also cruel to yourself. Your ex is not coming back. Holding someone up as second banana to them will make them feel useless, hurt and, believe it or not, used.

4. You always post “signal” messages that he can see on social media, in hopes that he’ll reply.

You know the inside jokes you’d post. You know the things he’ll pick up on. Yeah, if you’re doing this, you probably already know that you’re not over him.

5. Your friends are totally done with hearing about him.

They are nice enough to listen the first month or so, but after that, they got sick of hearing it. If they actually tell you it’s time to seek therapy or that you’re getting obsessive, you might want to listen to them.

6. Though you know it’s kinda (very) creepy, you come up with any way possible to remain relevant in his life or talk to him.

Oh, look. You found his old pamphlet from the Waffle House. You totally know he needs this pamphlet, right? Of course. Like, it’s super important — not! Either way, if you can come up with the weakest excuse to talk to him, you will do it just so that maybe he can be swayed into seeing you again.

7. You’ve tried to enlist your friends to spy on him.

Repeat after me: This. Is. Not. Cool. Your friends are over it and it’s crossing so many boundaries that should not be crossed.

8. You claim you’re totally fine and are rebounding, even though everyone’s worried about you.

When people keep telling you that you really don’t seem to be taking the breakup well, you insist that you’re “fine.” After all, look at all the fun you’re having. Look. At. The. Fun. Look at it, damn you! You’re SO OVER HIM, right?! Yeah, you might be overcompensating for how much you miss him at this point.

RELATED: How To Get Over An Ex? 40 Quotes About Having Feelings For Your Ex To Help You Move On

9. You keep wondering if you could have done things differently.

A good sign you’re not totally over your ex is if you look back and wonder what you could have done to save the relationship or why they left. If you’re still wondering about them, you might not be completely over them.

10. Though it’s been a while, you still get emotional when you hear “your song” with them or see anything that reminds you of them.

We all have memories we treasure with people, and that’s okay. However, if you find yourself really feeling sad to the point of depressed when you see stuff linked with them, then you’re not over them.

11. Whenever you get blackout drunk, you dial their number and beg for them to take you back.

Alcohol makes ugly truths come out of many of us. You’re also not over him if, every time that you get tipsy, you bring him up and ask someone if you think he will want you back.

12. You regularly mention them to your current partner, even though they play no part in your life.

This is the one sign that most commonly tips off your partners: they talk about them. If they aren’t messing with your life right now, there’s no need to regularly mention them to your partner or compare your partner to them. If anything, it shows how much you still think of them. If you do this and can’t seem to ever get a second date, you already should know why.

Advertisement Relationships can be hard. Click here to chat with a certified coach from Relationship Hero to help change your life for the better.

13. If you were honest with yourself, you would dump your current partner for them in a heartbeat.

Not only is this a sign that you’re not over them, but it’s also a sign that the person you’re with is a rebound. It also suggests that you don’t even care about your current partner as much as you do your ex, and that’s just plain messed up.

14. You still Facebook stalk them.

Look, everyone looks people up from time to time, but if you regularly check to see what they’re doing online, you’re not over your ex. If you were over them, you’d have something better to do. You just want to make sure he’s not having more fun or dating luck than you, right? (Yeah, we all know what’s up.)

15. Romantic songs and movies aren’t on the list right now.

Yes, in theory, you totally could watch Love, Actually again. And yes, technically, it would be physically possible for you to listen to love songs, but we all know that it would end in tears for the worst reasons. If you think that you would end up sobbing like a lunatic and diving into a tub of ice cream during a romance movie, then you’re not over him.

16. You smear him online.

Yeah, you Tweeted some nasty stuff about him. Yep, you spilled some tea when you had that one Facebook rant. Yes, you’re probably looking a little like a crazy ex at this point, but you might not care. If you’re trashing him, you’re definitely not over him.

17. Though he’s made it clear you’re not getting back together, you still sleep with him, talk to him, and do favors for him in hopes he will change his mind.

I totally understand this. I’ve been there. However, no matter what you do or say, you cannot make a man change his mind. He’s said his piece, and at this point, he’s just getting his cake and eating it, too. Maybe it’s time to cut the cord and let the recovery process get its start?

RELATED: 5 Ways To Get Over Your Ex (Even When It Feels Impossible)

Ossiana Tepfenhart is a Jack-of-all-trades writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey. When she's not writing, she's drinking red wine and chilling with some cool cats. You can follow her @bluntandwitty on Twitter.

Sign up for YourTango's free newsletter!